How do I stop this pain? [Soul eater boys x reader] completed!

Prologue

Why do we as humans, contain so many feelings? Feelings such as pain, love, anger, greed, fear, sadness and most of all happiness? Why does it always seem to me, like everyone wants to die when their madly depressed? The question should be... Are you even ready for such a big event to happen? So many of my questions, are always left unanswered.

Why must god ignore me? Why wont anyone help me? Why cant I figure out these questions on my own? Why? Because I'm just a simple mortal who lives in a world made up of barley anything but emotion and feeling. That's why. We cant do anything but survive, even then, we still die. Just a little. Each day we wake up, we age just by a bit. But eventually... Time will catch up with us, and so comes our end on this world of emotion and feeling.

I'm just a small mortal, who lives, only to fight death the next day, and the day after that. Every day I wake up from my bed and do my everyday routine, I face heavy consequences of dying, even if it doesn't even feel that way. Life is like a chess game. One simple move can give you check mate, and make you stronger. But... If you make the wrong move, your  bound to be captured and dead.

My friends my not approve of this, but I know deep down inside, each and everyone of them thinks of this sometimes. Only when we get into danger is when they all start thinking about it. At school, they see an ordinary, happy 14 year old girl who is the exact same age as Death The Kid, and is pretty much as strong as Black*Star. None of them know, who I really am. More like, how I really act. It's like deep down inside me, I put on a mask to hide the fact that I'm an emotionless river, that just keeps flowing on, and on, and on without any end, without a destination.

That's right. I keep everything to myself, I never work anything out. I'm just a river that could over fill with to much water, if you even want to call it that, and one day, this river will turn into a lake. Then that lake will eventually turn into an ocean. Then that ocean will flood, and everything inside me will drown with it. Any and every emotion and feeling that I ever felt, will be washed away for good. And that includes stuff such as memories, and whatnot.

Then, when that happens, I will be an emotionless body, with a mind that is pretty much turned off... You see, the truth is... I haven't felt a real emotion and or feeling, in almost 4 centuries. Yes that's right, I've been alive on this earth, for more than 300 years. I wasn't born like everyone else. I was created... by the great wizard Eibon himself. He raised me, and took care of me as his own. I was built by his own magic and mind. This is probably why my powers as a Miester, is very strong.

No one really knows about Eibon being my care taker all those years, but after he left without telling me, I stopped feeling emotion. I thought that in order to feel that again, I would attend the DWMA. Lord Death was significantly close to Eibon so I thought for sure he would allow me in. Alas, when I told him who I was, he didn't believe, he hasn't believed in me until recently, when Maka Albarn defeated the Kishin known as Asura. So the only one who knows about it is Lord Death himself.

Nothing good will come from this if he tells anyone, which is why I trust him so much... I guess. I never really trusted anyone before. The only one I trusted in my life and or depended on in my life was and will always be... Eibon...

Sadly.... I think that's about to change.