Servant of Lust

Chapter 24

Dear Mitch,

how do I start this? Well, I know that I've not always been myself during the last weeks. We fought so much, I was mean and everything. I've been impatient, snappy and so much more. And I'm really sorry for it.

The thing is: We both have been through so much back in Chicago. During our time there together and especially after we were separated. Sometimes I just sit there and hope that the past two years were just a nightmare and I'll wake up, still being at High School with my healthy Mum. But I know that's not going to happen.

"We all need to be grateful for the things we have and shouldn't be mourning those we don't have." My Mum used to say that whenever I wanted something I couldn't have as a child because money was rare.

I think that's what I should do. It's been a rough couple of months and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget those horrible things which were done to us. But I got you out of it!

You bring so much positivity into my life. You're clearly a lifesaver because without you I'd still be there and I'd be alone.

Nevertheless, I'm still trying to cope with everything and it's tough. So tough. I talked to Alex a few times but that didn't help because I think I don't want to talk about it anymore. He suggested a therapy for possible PTSD but I don't want to.

But I found my own way of processing: writing. I wrote down everything that happened back in Chicago after my Mum died and I was brought to the brothel. It's not a nice story, you obviously know that yourself as you were there as well.

Yet, the most important thing about some stories is how they end.

I hope that this story has a happy end, although one of the protagonists (me!) has been major jerk sometimes.

I love you, Mitch Grassi!

James.

P.S. If you want to you can read parts of the story I've wrote. They're in the envelope as well.

I feel hot tears steaming down my cheeks. I thought he was leaving me. And here I am reading the most beautiful letter I've ever received. God this boy is so lovely. I take a tissue and wipe away the flood of tears, while I'm trying to calm down.

Once I manage that, I fold up the letter and place it on the nightstand. I start reading through the other papers he'd put into the envelope.

I don't know how long it took me to do so, because I was lost in his words. The story was real and I, who have been there noticed the familiarities of his descriptions. He wrote down every detail, painful things from his clients and the lovely moments we shared. There was so much I already knew and some things that were new. It was the painful stuff, all the little things he didn't tell me. And although I knew it was over and he was safe, I started crying over and over again.

"Remember, that it is supposed to have a happy ending."

I jerk up as I hear the familiar voice and see James standing in the doorway. He looks at me with a smile on his face. He comes over to the bed and sits down next to me. "At least if you want it to..."

I put the papers away and look at him. "Yes, I need a happy ending... with you!"

James opens his arms wide and I scoot over into his warm embrace. I put my arms around him as well and relax into his embrace.

"I thought you had left me" I say softly.

"I could never do that" he returns. "I was just out for a walk. I wanted you to read that alone. I as a little bit anxious because I didn't know what you'd think about it."

"I loved it. I've never gotten such a letter before. And your manuscript was beautiful. It was painful, as well, I cried so much, there I so many things you never told me. But you are right, as long as there is a happy end, bad times are endurable" I say and press a kiss on his cheek. "Are you better now that you wrote all this down?"

He nods. "Yes, I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you, I just couldn't. That's not what I do. But how did you process all these things? We never spoke about that. If you need to talk, I'm there."

"Don't be sorry for being you" I interject. "And I'm okay, right now. Scott and Alex helped me and now that I have you, it's even better. Just please, I don't want to fight so much anymore. Especially not in the evening. I need you at night."

James looks at me. "Then let's try our best to not fight anymore." He kisses my cheek first and then my lips. I return the kiss and let it linger for a moment.

I look at him, afterwards and smile, wanting to feel more of him. I kiss him again, this time with more passion and pull him down on the bed with me. We end up with me lying on my back and him hovering over me while we make out, slowly but intensively. Since we haven't talked about it, yet, we don't take it any further, neither of us starts something. I mean, I'd like to, but I don't know if he's ready. But we've got time for those things, later.

"James?" I whisper, after we've settled down to cuddle.

He hums to signal that he's listening.

"I love you, too."

~~~~~~~~

A/N: FLUFFFLUFFFLUFF! I hope you liked it. It might be some time until I update for the next time, I have a lot of stuff going on university-wise. Plus Christmas is coming up and I want to  spend some time on the 'Weihnachtsmarkt' and drink a lot of 'Glühwein' :D. Plus I need to buy presents ;)

Thank you for reading. Vote and comment if you like ;)

P.S.: wattpad was being weird and put Chapter 23 before chapter 24. I just fixed it and republished it in the right order :)