Secluded

Forgiveness

Anfal scolded me for being such a pessimistic as she knew that Yazaan loved me too much and eventually he will forgive me but for that he needs time.

"He won't. I have hurt him really bad." I kept on repeating shaking my head in regret as the guilt just won't leave me. I have acted so blindly and stupidly that I chose to trust Subhaan over my own husband. What did he gain out of this?

Next day I was discharged as I was beginning feel a lot better hoping Yazaan to pick me up but instead his brother Meezan showed up as he offered us to stay at his place for a while which was really weird. We didn't question him and followed in silence as I wondered why Yazaan was not here?

We had our meals at Meezan's house as her wife was really generous and caring as I had already met her before in some random get-togethers and finally in the evening, Meezan delivered the news that Yazaan was planning to separate from me. It was like hard blow to my gut as Anfal started protesting openly and demanded to talk to Yazaan for being so childish and impulsive.

I sat where I was as it was expected but somewhere deep down I hoped that he would forgive me. I never thought he would choose this for me ever as I have always been his little wife and he treated me that way. He was always showering his affection, patient and neglecting my flaws but today he was cutting me off because I hurt him deeply and in an unexpected way.

Anfal sat pissed as she let the argument settle between them when I looked up at Meezan Bhai and trying to keep my voice normal I asked.

"I am ready to accept what he wishes as I have trusted his decisions always. What does he want from me?"

"He wants you to hand over your iqama and he will return your passport and you are soon to leave this kingdom as you have no individual sponsor here." He suggested as I nodded searching for my purse. The tears in my eyes were at the brink but I didn't let it show as Anfal shrugged her hands in the air helplessly.

"Very well." I said handing mine and Yumna's iqamas as I noticed that Meezan didn't approve of it too. I had heard his argument with Anfal where he said that Yazaan was making a wrong decision and he tried to talk him out but he won't listen.

I stayed here for another three days as Anfal was pissed to the core. He had two conversations with Yazaan which turned into heated arguments and ended that way as I was still silent on the whole matter. Finally, third day Yazaan showed up at this house which was startling as I thought he was here to finally pronounce the d-word 'Tallaq' and get it done with.

Everyone left us in solitude as I stared at him. He stood in front of me as it was all so awkward.

"So...you handed your iqama and accept what I am doing is correct?" He said finally in a agitated tone. "Won't you fight with me and try to confront me about all this?"

"I won't." I said raising my shoulders and letting it drop. "I don't need to because you have trusted me over everything and do I owe you any sort of explanation? You know me better."

"Noor...Really? Do I know you better?" He snapped shaking his head aghast. "You misjudged me and blamed me for things that I didn't even do only because you did that with Subhaan. Or else you would have stood for me. And I was crazy all the time that I believed you."

"Excuse me?" I frowned at his reply. "You are here to tell me that you don't believe me anymore? If you didn't then you would be sending me the 'Tallaq' papers rather than sitting here and discussing things with me. Get that?"

"Yes, I am doing this for...for my child." He said suddenly caught by her question as Noor laughed haughtily.

"Yazaan, tell me what you want and I will do it but don't act stupid in front of me because I know you better." I snapped angrily as his cold stare melted and his eyes softened. "Why are you even here?"

"I don't know." He said nodding his head as he flopped on the couch. "I have actually detested you so much after all this happened but eventually I couldn't. The part of my heart that loved you kept saying that you are not wrong and you should be forgiven but I kept on ignoring."

He went on as there was ache and pain in his eyes as Noor stood rooted listening to him.

"I still thought I am wrong but as time went by that part started overcoming my heart completely and I just feel that you deserve a forgiveness." He said as I was happy to hear him but wait a minute? What forgiveness do I deserve?

"Forgiveness for what?" I raised my eyebrow as his head shot up and our eyes met instantly.

"For not trusting me. I know you better that you would ever betray me behind my back as you are a honest person." He went on. "It's human to get carried away sometimes but I feel that if you actually had any such intentions, you would have showed it to me."

"I did get carried away but your immense love was my anchor in every situation, Yazaan." Noor stated as he nodded in agreement.

"Mine too." He said. "We are humans and we tend to fall but we should remember that as a Muslims all this is not allowed and we must never forget that we are answerable to Allah on behalf of our spouses. Sometime we get carried away but it doesn't mean we have committed the sin but at the right time, we just stop for the sake of Allah."

"True! It all feels right but then there is no peace in cheating someone." Noor went on as Yazaan smiled at her.

"I am glad you have experience it and fared well." He said admiring her as she offered her hand which he accepted as she held them in hers wondering how close she was to lose him forever.

Alhumdulillah, as Allah had saved her from humiliation and hurt.

"Always remember...when you act as an excellent spouse and have a loving life partner, it protects you from lots of temptations and desires. It keeps you from falling out of marriage." Yazaan went on as I agreed completely.

I was glad we were talking now with each other as we let things pass and forget what happened but remember the lesson we went through and protect ourselves from similar situations.

(The End)

Moral: There had been so many extra-marital affairs where one person chooses to receive things from outside and then they fall in it so deep that there is no returning back but when you have a really caring and loving spouse, you won't be able to fall for it. He acts as shield to all the temptation and desires around the world.

And sometimes our spouses get stuck in weird situations and we became doubtful about them automatically rather than thinking properly and reassuring that it's true or not. We are so hurt, blinded and betrayed by shaitaan that we think that she deserves to be divorced.

As couples we should communicate and get to know each other better. If our spouses choose someone else over us, then it's not her fault but it's the failure on our part in serving her properly or else no one would prefer doing it.

Relationships are built on love, trust and immense forgiveness. There is nothing more to it and this doesn't comes easy as it takes lot of efforts on both sides.

I would like to conclude by presenting a hadith:

"Amongst the most perfect of mumins in Imaan is he who is best Character and amongst the best of them is he who kindest towards his wife."

Hoped you enjoyed this marital journey of Noor and Yazaan as life had so much to offer and so much experiences to give. Please do let me know your opinions as I know it was an abrupt ending after so many days as I wanted to end this here.

Thank you for your time and take care.

Bye!