I'm Wide Awake

iCan't. 9

"Okay," I say, rolling my head to my right so that I can see Rae on her swinging chair typing, "How about make up?"

She looks up, "What's wrong with make up?" I look at her. My lips close like a fish and my hair spilling around me like a waterfall as I lay there on her bed as I shake my head. Dismissed ideas on papers with marks of being scrunched up, drowning me with their odd pointed edges.

"Nothing, nothing."

She nods slowly and carries on typing muttering words under her breath, "Keep thinking Ida, we need something." My lips release a strangled sigh, tired of endlessly thinking for something that keeps being rejected and thrown in the trash.

"Maybe you should do it if you're going to be complain so much, " I mutter the words under my breath, but luck is on my side and Rae lifts her head once again having not heard my complaining.

"Im sorry, could you say that a little louder please?"

"Nothing, nothing." I decide to lift my voice a little to make myself seem more believable, "You know what? I'm gonna get us an idea, and have this thing finished!" I exclaim, staging the whole thing. All I receive in return is the fast tapping of Rae's fingers running across her keyboard, and a bland voice ringing in the air.

"That's the spirit," she says flatly.

After lunch I had realized that I had no classes left for the day, and surprisingly enough neither did Raegan, so she took the initiative that instead of wasting the day studying, we were going to work on our group project. I felt a twinge of shame for ditching my old friends since it has come to my attention that I've been hanging out more with the triplets instead of my real friends.

Real friends...real friends?

"Body image!" I exclaim. Life makes sense now.

"...body image? Why?" Life once again makes no sense to me.

"Everyone is obsessed about their body image whether they see it or not," I look up at her the thought dawning on me, "even people that claim that they don't care, they focus so much on trying not to care, that they've shown they cared enough to put effort into making sure people know they are the complete opposite. Not only that, it seems like this world doesn't know what beauty is anymore- and I was hoping that maybe we can put it in our hands, start small with our class and maybe even grow and start with the whole school. Remind people what beauty is." I breathe out. God, that was a mouthful.

Raegan stares at me, really looks at me as if she had just met me all over again and is seeing me in a new light- a smile draws on her face and she nods.

"Okay."

Okay?! That's all I get? I let the pen drop on the paper, huh. I feel like that moment you send someone a long paragraph in a text, and all they give you is that one freaking syllable. It grinds my gears. We continue to explore our horizons until she exclaims that we were stopping by for a visit.

"To whom do we owe this pleasure?"I ask.  She glanced over at me, her hands grabbing a hold of both halves of the hair spilling out of her pony tail and tugging at them, tightening the hold.

"Mother dearest. Let's go." Monotonously I follow behind her treading down the never ending steps that lead to the doorstep, my hands sliding down the banister afraid I'll fall because the length of everything is just so steep and nauseating. We reach the coat rack and look to my right and see Ryland and Roman...lmao, Roman noodles. Wait, that's Ramen. Clearing my head I continue my light perving as Ryland is nose buried in a thick book and Ramen is in some intense COD. They're both on the love seat yet complete oblivious to the other and their surroundings.