Finding Happiness

03 | Home

My hands trembled as I stepped out into the pavement. The light breeze chilled my face. I was always like this when I was walking home. Always nervous, always tense. Home is meant to be a warm loving place, were you feel welcome and safe. My home was anything but this. I dreaded even going near the place. It reeked of bad memories and darkness. 

Our street was nearly always empty. No cars, no people. The street was silent, just like every other time. It always made feel kind of lonely and sad. I knew there were people living in the houses, but they never came out to hi or anything. Especially after the accident.

Like a machine I put one foot in front of the other, every step became a blur. I looked up from the ground and saw the fence of my house nearing. Sweat dripped down my face. Green hedges and the white fence. I have arrived.

I opened the old rusted gate and walked down the brick pathway to the small set of stairs. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up now. I was nervous again.

"Your late again."

I looked up a bit startled. It was my step-dad. Siting on the veranda drinking beer. Typical.

My hands trembled. "Yeah I had some after school sports," I stammered.

"Don't lie to me boy. You had after school detention, didn't you?"

The anger fumed inside me. I clenched my hands.

"Sorry, won't happen again,"

I slowly walked past him and made my way to the front door. I struggled to open it but eventually opened it with a little too much force.

"Be careful with the door honey," my mum called from the kitchen.

"Yes mum," I muttered.

I walked through the house until I made it to my small room, dropping my bag and falling onto the bed. I hate my life so much right now. The utter frustration with absolutely everything. I let out a long sigh.

You might as well write another entry. True. I quickly jumped off the bed and grabbed my book out of my bag, spilling all the other books on my bed. I sat down at my small desk and started to write.

24/9/15

Here we go again. So last time I wrote today's entry my annoying German teacher decided to go and rip it up. She was all like, "We're doing German, not English." Urgh the struggles. So anyway I got another afternoon detention but I met a girl. Her name is Victoria. At least one thing good has happened today. She seems nice, although we haven't really talked much yet. Anyway my step-dad is being a real ass today again. I really wanted to punch him in the face. Just wished I had a normal life everyone else, but that would be just too easy. It would be nice, actually being happy to go home and not actually being scared to even go near it. Everything has changed since the accident.

I wonder if Victoria will have afternoon detention again?

Marcus