Fifty Shades After ii

Chapter 21: My First Kiss Went a Little Like This

♣Phoebe♣

James is driving me home.

He's resting his head on his knuckles, lost in thought as he drives down the Avenue. I always forget how hard of a childhood James had. And how far he's gone since. I seize the opportunity to examine his features. He has a very defined jawline. His skin has a golden glow to it, which is probably from jogging in the afternoons. He's no muscle man, but he's definitely fit.

I only just realize that he isn't wearing a bow tie again. Why has he stopped? He looks cute in them. And then there's his hair. It's curly and messy. He definitely didn't comb it. Maybe he's just too lazy to groom himself. But he's always groomed himself! I don't understand why he'd stop after years and years of ritually wearing bow ties and slicking his hair to the side.

My mind begins to drift to yesterday. James is a very handsome guy. But yesterday, he seemed so different. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see him as the cousin I grew up with. It could be that I've become so familiar with his appearance, that when he changed it, it sparked something in me, something that I could've felt for him if it weren't the case of being lawfully related to him. Or maybe I'm over analyzing.

We were going to kiss. Why? Why did James want to kiss me? And why was I going to let it happen!? I didn't push him away. Anyone could say I wanted him to kiss me. If we wouldn't have gotten interrupted, what would've happened?

Half of me is relieved nothing did happen, but the other half of me feels... disappointed.

Phoebe May Grey, James is your cousin!

I clear my throat and break him from his thoughts. "Hm?" he raises a brow and I press my lips into a line. "Nothing. I had a tickle in my throat." he purses his lips amusingly and smiles back at the road. "What are you thinking about, really?'

- "You." I blurt out.

Now's the time to tuck and roll.

James glances at me, his expression emanating surprise. Yeah, I'm just as shocked as you are. His cheeks turn into a subtle pink, but I know my almost candy red blush isn't subtle at all.

Quick, fix it!

"What-"

- " About what we spoke of earlier. Your band's name and all. I was thinking about how far you've gone since I first met you." that's the truth. He smiles tenderly, but it doesn't touch his eyes and he turns back to the road.

Phew.

I let out a quiet sigh and my eyes roll back in relief. That was awful. Since when have I become this gawky? Geez. "Mind if we make a quick stop?" James turns to me. "Why?" I ask. He points at the dashboard. "Gas."

James and I exit the car and he pulls out his credit card. "I'm going in." I mouth out to him as I point at the store and he nods at me as he picks up the nozzle.

When I step in, a faint de-tuned electronic bell emanates from somewhere over me. A large bald man in a polo shirt greets me with a smile from behind the glass. I head to the back for a can of Snapple and get one for James. The bell rings again.

"Ey, Margie!"

- "Morning, Kyle." I hear from the front of the store. I take the cans and head to the cashier. "Will that be all?" he asks and I look around. I reach for a pack of spearmint gum and place it with the cans. "Yes, sir." I smile and he punches in some buttons and the register dings.

"Four, forty-seven," he says and I pull out my credit card. He blinks at me and as I scan it on the machine and tap the options. "Your daddy must really trust you with his credit card, girlie."