Depressed and Obsessed (Bob Bryar/Ray Toro One-Shot)

Depressed and Obsessed

Ray's POV
One thing that everyone in the band ignored was Bob's depression. Sometime I'd wake up in the middle of the night to hear him crying in his bunk, and every time I did I would go straight into his bunk, not even caring about the fact that the bunks are barely big enough for one of us, but every night we managed. He'd always cling to me as soon as I got in, pulling as close as he could without getting us stuck. And then he'd cry. And cry. And cry. Sometimes he's tell me about how he felt pathetic, useless, ignored, as if there are only two members in the band, Gerard and Frank, and that the rear of us didn't matter. Mikey and I never cared about that though which meant that Bob felt even worse, taking our pain for us.
On hotel nights I'd always room with Bob for one really important reason, Bob cut. This was a part of him that only I knew about, he only trusted me. Every hotel night I made sure that no sharp objects were near him when he was alone, only in the bathroom. When he'd needed to shave I would do it for him. When he did it himself he would move the razor in a way so that it cut his face, tricking everyone else into thinking it was an accident, never me.
But then stuff happened. Bob and Gerard got into a fight over the fourth album, a musical difference was what we announced it as, Gerard overreacted. We wrote an entire, we even recorded everything for it but Gerard wasn't happy with it, walked in on the last day, listened to it with us and then announced that it was missing something, going on another rant. Bob, of course, went against Gerard on it. Bob said that the album was good and that it would cost too much to redo it, but Gee wouldn't listen and threw him out. Bob never came back after that.
Three years after the the band broke up, all going in different directions, Gerard did a solo album, Frank started another band and continued touring with James, Mikey went to rehab and after he got out he started his own band. Even I did a solo album. I didn't get the best reviews but it was fun. The last thing that I heard about Bob before the band broke up was that he was working at a car dealership. When the band broke up, though, magazines got a nice little article, 'Bob Bryar suicidal after leaving MCR'. It didn't surprise me at all based on the calls and texts I got asking if I knew.
But I'm sitting here in front of a grave, five years after the band broke up. I finally gathered the courage to come to his grave. It's been a year that I've been sitting at home every weekend trying to make it here and I finally did. Since he died, I broke up. I was hurting so much that Krista gave up and left me, but I still get to see my son. A few months after she left and we'd started talking again she told me that she always knew I loved him. I've managed to tell everything that had happened since we lost contact in the last hour I've been sitting. It's getting closer to the time I need to pick up my son, so I stand up to leave.
"Bye, Bob. I missed you and our times together. I always loved you and now I'll keep coming back to visit you until the day I can see you again." I say to him, my last words for this visit, before walking away.