Possibility of the Future

Chapter Nine

*Author's Note* - Let me remind everyone of something. If I haven't stated this before, I apologize. If I have, then this won't make a lick of difference to you. This story ISN'T my priority. Therefore updates for it will be VERY slow. I have several other more important projects in the works and this one is merely an indulgence, both for me and longtime fans of the series. So, please don't pressure me about posting more and more often. I'll post when I post and if you don't like it, take the story off your shelf and move along. Thank you and have a good day.

Unedited.

Chapter Nine

My brother drove while I sat shot gun and I did my best not to fall asleep. It was becoming increasingly difficult. Aidan sat in the backseat, giving directions. I could feel his eyes, like lasers, staring at the back of my head. Ignoring him was easy, the uneasy silence between my brother and I, not so much.

"I'm sorry," I broke the silence. "For what I said. I didn't mean it."

"You should tell Mom and Dad."

"There's nothing to tell."

Sebastis glanced over at me then back at the road. "They'd want to know."

"So they could do what, exactly? Worry? They have enough going on—they don't need this too."

"He takes care of you, doesn't he? Gregori Phillies. You're not just—he acted like he's done that before."

I sighed and closed my eyes. He wanted to dive into this, tear it open so he could dissect it. No matter if I didn't want to talk about it. But it was time, I guess, to divulge just how screwed up I was. "They're called 'black moods'. I get them when I keep everything bottled up for too long. Normally they don't go that far. I rage, I get sad, it ebbs and goes away. I've learned to deal with them on my own, granted it's rotting my liver, but yes, Gregori takes care of me. He calms me down, makes sure I don't hurt myself or someone else. He picks up the pieces when I can't."

"And how often does this happen?" Sebastis asked.

"Depends. When I first got here, I had several severe episodes a week. But after a while, time in between got longer and they became less brutal. Sometimes, I can go months without having one. Today—the mood started yesterday and didn't explode until—well, you saw. It's all very unpredictable and that's why I haven't told anyone."

"And they're the reason why you don't visit," Sebastis stated.

"I didn't want to come and—I didn't want to hurt anyone. And it would be hard to explain Gregori's presence without spilling the beans. So when it comes time to check out the potential recruits, I delegate and because Lena knows what happens to me, she lets me."

Sebastis remained focused on the road, both men taking it all in. Aidan, I guess, realized why it appeared as if I was a frigid bitch. I stared out the window, lost in my own thoughts. There were so many times I wanted to pick up the phone and hear—someone's voice. Aidan's or Michael's. Sophie's or Sebastis'. My father. I wanted one of them to tell me everything would be ok and have them help me figure it out.

But I didn't want to be a burden. The needy girl who wouldn't let go and grow up. So I slammed the door on everyone. I kept the bond open on my end for weeks after Michael left. But once I decided I couldn't be that person, I closed and locked it. There was no reason to drag up the past by making another stupid phone call.

Locking it all away worked.

Sebastis pulled into the drive and Aidan had the doorman buzz us in. He got out when we parked, not saying a word to me. I grabbed my duffle and followed suit, Sebastis doing the same.