Possibility of the Future

Chapter Sixteen

Unedited.

Chapter Sixteen

But first, we have to move.

I stood in the doorway of the library for a while, taking it all in. I stared at a certain book on a shelf and wondered if I should leave the page or rip it out. No one would notice another book on the floor. It would be in good company. I hadn't been gentle during my rampage and the only thing missing were claw marks on the walls.

Jesus, I'm a fucking mental case. A goddamn animal.

"Geo."

I didn't look at him. Didn't blink. Wasn't even surprised he walked up on me without notice. I wasn't exactly paying attention. That tired feeling hadn't gone away and it blurred my senses, made them less sharp.

I kinda liked it. Not being on guard all the time. But the nagging little voice in my head told me I should be on guard now more than ever.

I walked a tightrope between what I should do and what I wanted to do. And maybe that's what this tired feeling was.

Me.

Fighting myself.

"I should've cleaned up."

I rarely cleaned up my messes. Gregori usually did it for me. He said once he didn't want me to do it, that I had enough on my plate. So he took care of me: calmed me down, cleaned me up, and fixed what I destroyed and broke. Sometimes he replaced things.

But this time there were too many things broken and no one to fix them.

He didn't say anything for a few minutes, both of us staring at the wreckage.

"We should go," he murmured before heading for the stairs.

I didn't want to feel bad but I did. Fucking empathy and compassion.

The drive ahead would be fantastic.

Couldn't wait.

*

About forty-five minutes into it I spoke.

"Where are we going?"

Gregori let his brother answer. Aleksei glanced at me through the rearview mirror and said, "Don't worry. Just know it's a long drive so get comfortable."

I sighed and went back to looking out the window. About an hour later I found myself lounging against the door and falling asleep.

I must've slept for a while because in the middle of my dream I felt a prick on my arm but I didn't bother to fully wake up. I went back to dreaming about flying across the Grand Canyon.

When I did rejoin the land of the conscious, I found Aleksei asleep in the passenger seat and Gregori driving.

I sighed and sat up.

"How far away are we now?"

"Not too long," he answered. "We stopped for food. Tried to wake you but—bag's on the floorboard."

I looked and sure enough a convenience store bag sat on the floor to my right but the ghost of color bleeding through the plastic held no interest to me.

"I'm not hungry."

"Geo—"

"Don't start."

He sighed and didn't say anything else. Perhaps he was learning. Don't poke the bear and the bear won't bite, make you feel guilty, or fight. He let it go.