Telling Me Anyways

Chapter 1/ The Encounter

Telling Me Anyways - The Encounter

Song: "Battle Scar" by Guy Sebastian

Chapter 1:

The strong aroma of coffee warmed my frozen nose. My cheeks burned from being outside for so long. I removed the red beanie from my head causing my long, frizzy brown hair to fall in front of my face. I used my ice cold hands to brush it behind my ears and out of my eyes. When I looked up I froze and it took me a couple seconds to regain my breath.

He handed the money to the cashier and gave her his signature smile. She blushed and looked away while giggling to herself. Another gentleman behind the counter rolled his eyes as he poured coffee grounds into one of the pots. My past love, with his smile still turned upward, took a seat alone by the window. He pulled out a muffin from the bag he held and sipped his hot drink. My heart sped up when he looked my way. I panicked and turned around quickly so he couldn't see me. No, wait! I want him to see me. Errrr do I? Yes I-I want to talk to him again. I want him to talk to me again.

I slowly spun back around. I lifted my head up to where he was sitting and bit my lip. He was staring straight at me with his mouth hanging open. He must've realized how impolite it was and he closed his mouth and wiped at it with the napkin. He turned back to me and cocked his head as if he's still trying to fathom me being in his presence once again. The memories must have hit him hard as well because I swear I could see the glistening of a tear in his glossy eyes. He turned his head away before it rolled down his face and onto the table. He looked back at me, right into my eyes like he used to. He combed his hand through his dark brown hair and it fell over his beautiful grey eyes. He slowly lifted his hand and waved me over.

My heart raced and I froze for a couple seconds before taking slow and careful steps in his direction, not at all once breaking eye contact. I stood beside his table trying to keep my breathing steady. I didn't think it was possible that I'd ever see him again. Although, I didn't think I'd want to see him again.

The pain struck me as I was taking a seat across from him and I jolted upright. "No!" I screamed and tears started leaking down my face. However, I didn't move. I stood in place, in front of the monster. He didn't seem surprised at my actions. He didn't even look around at the new attention.

"Beth, please sit down." He looked up at me with pleading eyes and some warmth came back into my heart before being replaced with the hatred I still felt for him. My conflicting emotions were hurting my chest and I started breathing heavily. Tears were streaming down my face again, but I still didn't dare move. Something kept me in place.

"Beth," he whispered with something almost heartbreaking traced in voice. "Please."

I started to fall again for the sparkle in his eyes and the sweetness in his voice. I felt myself calming down. The painful memories were replaced with the heartwarming ones. I felt safe once again with him. He stood up and apologized to our audience before grabbing my hand and walking with me out the door. He didn't bother to bring his muffin or drink.

His hand was warm and comforting laced in mine. It reminded me of before when we were happy together, and it reminded me of when everything was okay. Even with his hand locked in mine I know that it's not like it was anymore and it never will be no matter what we do. He can't fix the past and neither can I. We could try and forget the past, but that's too hard to do with the emotions of our painful memories bubbling inside of us. No matter how much I want to make myself believe that it never happened, the more I come to the realization that it did. He still has some trust of my trust, but there's not enough left to finish our story.

"Beth?" He asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked up from the ground and blinked several times before I could focus on my surroundings. We were on Brookstone Avenue. Many people were walking around us, but I hardly even noticed them. He chuckled and created wrinkles around his eyes from his bright smile. I don't think anyone could help but return a smile like that.

"Yes?" I responded finally after many moments. I had been staring into his eyes. They've changed since the last time I saw them. They used to be more vibrant and full of life. Back then even the dull grey that they had always been had been full of mischief and life. Now, however, they've dulled even more and lost some of their mystery. They're now lost and almost hopeless. They look like they're missing something, as if they've lost something and it could never be replaced. I now notice that even his dazzling smile can't remove the depression from his eyes.

"I asked how you've been." He told me. His words replaced curiosity with joy. Such a simple question from him impacted my emotions to an extreme. I felt my heart flutter for tenth time in the past few minutes I've been talking to him. Despite the cold, my face grew hot and was probably bright red.

"I've been good." I say as casually as I can. I probably sounded more like I was drunk than I thought. He chuckled once more and let go of my hand which left me in disappointment. My hand quickly grew cold from the absence of his hand being in my own. I wish he would grab my hand again and hold it forever like he promised he would years ago. He didn't reach for it though, and I put it in my pocket so it wouldn't get too cold.

He starts chuckling again and I know now that I sounded drunk. My face turns red from embarrassment just by the thought of him thinking I am drunk. I start to overthink it for no reason. I shouldn't be getting this worried over something so little, but I can't help it. What if he finds me weirder than I had been and that's why he let go of my hand? What if he regrets waving me over to him? No, everything is okay. I made him smile and that's a good sign.

"So, how have you been?" I asked in order to take the attention away from myself. I felt a little better because if he was freaked out by the newer me, he definitely did not show it. Maybe he is freaked out, but at the same time finds it cute so it's okay. Everything is okay and will be okay. I just need to calm down and stop being so freakin' overdramatic.

"I suppose I've been good." He said with a puzzled look on his face. "I've had many ups and downs, but I'm still here so I guess I'm doing fine." The wind starts blowing hard making my hair whip around my face and get in my mouth. When I get my hair out of my face, I have to squint against the wind and I notice he is squinting as well, except he's also smiling. He shakes his again and says we should go inside somewhere for a little bit where it's not so cold. I nod my head and follow him into a nearby shop.

I look around and it's an old fashioned candy store. There is something familiar about this place, but I can't think of how. Many memories are trying to escape the chest I had kept them locked in and it's becoming hard to contain them. The memories pour out into my mind and I remember back to where it all began.