Sipping Life in Non-Lethal Portions

4.

"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children." ~ Sam Levenson

 Like a stray cat, Lee ran wild throughout most of her childhood--to a point that was almost feral.  If someone tried to pat her, she would shy away.  If cornered, she would bite and scratch.  The bite and scratch response would come later in life, but the shy away from affection impulse was there for as long as Lee could remember.

Lee had never learned how to receive or express affection physically.  Cat shelters, knowing feral cats must learn how to be loved, have volunteers whose only task is hold and stroke.  Which is not say Lee did not love.  Or that she believed she was not loved.  She had total faith in her mother's love. And she loved her mother without question (one of the few things she did not question in life).  It simply was not expressed physically.

A few things contributed to this oversight.  But, one of them was not that Lee's mother was cold and uncaring.  One of them was that Lee's mother had never developed the habit of hugging and kissing.  The end result of "entertaining the troops" before they went off to war, Lee's mother was raised by a mother who introduced her as a little sister.  This relationship between Lee's mother and her grandmother (who Lee never called grandmother) partly explained to Lee why her mother jumped without looking too closely into Lee's father's arms.  Regardless, the main reason Lee's mother did not take Lee into her arms to express her love was that her hands were constantly full.

Yet, the things that filled Lee's mother's hands expressed love in a way that was not lost to Lee.  Food, sometimes burnt on the outside and raw in the middle, but always prepared with good intentions and much effort.  Clothes, scented with the outdoors and pressed into smooth folds.   Occasionally, a peppermint patty or a stick of cinnamon gum.  And, although Lee did not see the loving touch in the passing of things like castor oil or a spanking, she would later understand that love accompanied even these things.  Of course, most mothers hold these things in their hands as an expression of their love.  But, not many mothers show their love in the holding of a court order to appear before a judge--on the charge of attempted murder.

If a great-great grandchild, researching the family tree a hundred years from now, came across the charge, it would all seem so shocking.  Who could believe that the tiny, pretty woman in the old, faded photo of the family album was capable of attempting to drown another woman?  Although her mother denied any intent, Lee had enough belief in her mother's single-minded determination not push her mother too far.

The court appearance was the end result of a conflict between a crazy, old woman and the children in the area.  It started with a pair of the old lady's panties.  Seen on her clothesline, they provided the children with a funny sight.  Seen on the head of a boy who snatched them down, they were hilarious.  The old woman, hearing the children screaming with laughter, looked out of her door to see her bloomers streak past.  Overcome by indignant rage, she grabbed her dirty mop leaning near the door, and screaming "you rotten bastards" and other choice phrases, she  gave chase.  Fear of a crazy old woman swinging a mop at their heads lasted as long as it took them to outrun her--although she was surprisingly fast.  The rest of afternoon was spent finding ingenious ways to prolong the new game of 'taunt the witch', including (but not limited to) attaching string to the bloomers.  Watching the crazed and cursing old lady bend down to reclaim her  bloomers only to have them yanked away, over and over, caused the children much hysterical laughter.  Until, hunger setting in after such lively entertainment, they eventually abandoned the underwear and went home to supper.

In the weeks that followed (not knowing exactly who the culprits were), the old woman vented her rage on any child unlucky enough to cross her path--including Lee and her brothers.  Hearing the kids' uncensured story about their run-in with the old woman, Lee's mother decided she would have to give her "a talking to" some day soon.  Some day soon arrived the next day.

Walking through the alley between rowhouses on her way to the store, Lee's mother noticed  the old woman coming toward her. Politely, she greeted the old woman, and unpolitely, the old woman disregarded her.  So, nicities aside, Lee's mother got right down to business.  She let the old woman know that she would not tolerated her children being abused with such foul language.  The old woman's response was to swear foully at Lee's mother.  Lee's mother, determined to reason with the old woman, stepped into her path.  The old woman, determined she would not be blocked, grabbed Lee's mother roughly and tried to throw her aside.  Being handled by the old woman prompted Lee's mother to automatically push her away.

The old lady went crazy.  Going for the eyes, she jumped at Lee's mother, knocking her off balance.  They both went down with the old woman on top.  Trying to keep the old woman away from her eyes, Lee's mother held onto the woman's wrists.  Shock soon giving way to anger, Lee's mother struggled to throw the crazy, old woman off her.  In and out of dirty puddles left by the morning rain, they rolled.  Finally, Lee's mother manage to get on the old woman's back and restrain her.

Unfortunately, Lee's mother managed to restrain the woman just after they had rolled into  the midst of the deepest puddle in the alley.  The fouled-mouth old lady, throwing her head back in an attempt to bash in Lee's mother's face, had her head immediately pushed back down--her face plunging into the filthy water while curses still streamed from her mouth.  Hence, the attempted murder charge.  Realizing the struggling woman's face was in the water, Lee's mother released her.  Seeing the only harm done was a mouthful of nastiness, Lee's mother left the crazy, old woman retching in the alley.  At the end of the day (which lasted for months), Lee's mother achieved what she set out to do--appeal to the crazy, old woman through reason (even if it took the presence of a court judge to make her listen).