Shadow Claw: The Life Story - The Fourth Chapter

Ch. 11 - Hoping For Love

Tensions ran high for days after that one, calamitous evening.

Jenny and I stuck close, and rejected all offers from Shade or Draco, while we acted like James didn't exist.

Until one evening.

*

"Why did you do it?" I kept my face even, and I kept my voice steady. Jenny sat beside me, although she didn't notify either of us, because she thought I was betraying her by speaking to James. The Great Hall was emptying slowly of students, mindlessly walking to their dormitories. Few remained for homework and such.

"So you're finally acknowledging I exist." James mumbled gloomily, picking at his dinner still.

I slammed my hand down on the table and he jumped in fright, as did Jenny; "Why did you do it, James? I don't have time for statements. I need an explanation." I hissed venomously, glancing at Jenny. He cowered away slightly but regained himself after I leaned back and any attention-seeking eyes dropped from our faces. James shuffled on his seat, hesitating and playing with his fingers as if he was too shy to tell me. I growled darkly, "It's bad enough Jenny's mad at you, and I'm even worse, but you do not want Shade on your ass, James, or even Malfoy. Tell. Me."

"Give me a minute!" He exclaimed desperately, his lip trembling, and I mentally slapped myself for losing my patience. I nodded once and leaned back slightly and he heaved a heavy sigh, shiny droplets forming in his orbs.

"Y-You forgot ab-bout me." He whispered, so quietly I barely heard it. But I did, and his words surprised me. "We're s'posed to be a t-team, Shadow." There were fat, miserable tears dripping from his dark eyes. "You- you said, in th-the attic, that we'd a-always chose each o-other over b-boys and- and- and J-Jenny w-was always g-gonna be our m-mummy." Hearing him so vulnerable made my soul ache to hug him. He reminded me of Otto - and thoughts of Otto reminded me what I had done, and all that James had been through. "S-Sirius l-left us all, and I'm his s-son, Shadow. He d-doesn't want me, he sees m-me as a b-burden. You and J-Jenny did the s-same. You l-left me. You f-forgot." He turned to full sobs and I leapt across the table gracefully, wrapping my arms around him tightly, and he leaned his head on my shoulder, hugging me back while he cried.

"I'm so sorry, James." I uttered, "I didn't even-" I cut myself off, "I'm sorry." I repeated, rocking him gently like I had done countless times, resisting the urge to cry. Jenny had tears falling from her eyes like James and she crossed over the table too, hugging James' other side. "I love you guys." She croaked and I smiled, "I love you all more." James sniffled and let out a small, boyish giggle, "I wuv you most." My smile widened and Jenny and I shared a look of both happiness and sadness.

"You will always come before Shade, guys. I love him, but I love you two in a stronger sense. Balancing two relationships is difficult, give us some time, James." We all squeezed each other tightly before I wiped James' tears from his eyes and then Jenny's. "How about we set up some pranks early tomorrow and watch them go off throughout the day?" I questioned with a smirk. James nodded enthusiastically, then we zipped out the Hall before Umbridge could tell us to leave.

"I have to make things right with Shade. I'll see you two in the dormitory." I had avoided that place most of the years I had come to Hogwarts, perhaps because I would snap at Draco, however I couldn't put it off for much longer. I would have to get used to the boy, whether I liked it or not. Jenny nodded and guided James towards the Slytherin dormitory. I wasn't much a part of the school, but apparently it was necessary.

*

"Shadow, baby?" Shade called, his eyes desperate and apologetic, as he picked up my scent.

I ran into his arms and he hugged me so tightly. I slipped up his chest and wrapped my legs around his waist. "I'm sorry and I-" He began rapidly but I kissed him passionately and he groaned throatily, pressing me against the cave wall, his tongue flicking at my neck. I bit my lip but the moan slipped out and Shade smirked, "I love you, Shadow." He whispered huskily and I played with his dark hair. "I love you more, Shadey baby." I teased and he pouted, laying me down ontop of him with his thick arms resting on my hips.

"I have to go to the dormitory, babe. James and Jenny want me." I said softly, but Shade kept his arms around my waist, pulling a plastic square with an elastic rubber circle inside, out of his pocket. "Quickie?" A grin worked its ways onto his face and I couldn't say no. I pecked his nose and gave him a seductive look, "Go on, then."

*

In all truth, honesty and everything holy - what we did, was not very holy at all, in fact, it was probably the highest of sins - but anyway, I never did make it back to the dormitory that night.

And no, it definitely wasn't quick.