Shadow Claw: The Life Story - The Fourth Chapter

Ch. 24 - The Great Chase Of Hogwarts

The downpour over the next couple of days was dreadful, which not only meant that Jenny would be at Quidditch practice in it, but I wouldn't be able to fly all I wanted. Nova shared my griefs, and we just lingered in the corridors, hallways and any other place where first-year students would be too afraid to walk past us.

The shadows concealed our bodies effortlessly, though our mood did not improve, despite the amusing faces of every youngling that tried to pass us and got a couple of nasty snarls.

"I'm telling you now. This sucks." Nova growled, her tail wavering behind her with angst. I crossed my paws and shuffled my wings, gazing out the arches to the disastrous weather outside. "Oh, can it, kitty cat. You just want to see Thorny." Nova scowled at me, turning her head away. "Alright, grumpy. You got me. He's cute." I gave her a deadpan look. "More like a thorn in your side." I smirked devilishly.

She scoffed at me, "You're just jealous because Shade's locked away and you don't even know the real reason-" Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd just said and I lifted myself to all fours slowly. "What don't I know?" I exaggerated ever syllable, stalking closer to her with darkening eyes.

"Fuck." Nova swore, and made a mad dash down the corridor. I gave chase, snarling furiously. "NOVA!!" I roared, and that lead to The Great Chase Of Hogwarts. Well, more the chase of Claws, but whatever, she should've told me. Hmph. Anyway, The Great Chase was more than eventful - we scared Umbridge, we scared the whole school, and I got a scolding from Jenny who I slapped then Nova and I managed to do three laps of every single corridor, room, hall and passageway. The whole school.

*

I finally cornered the Night Claw and stalked closer and closer, "Nova." I paused for emphasis and she lowered her ears, whining quietly. "Tell me what's going on." I was muzzle-muzzle with her, and I could smell her fear. She shook her head violently, "I-I can't t-tell you, Shadow." She drew her head down and I padded back and forth in front of her impatiently.

"How about I tell Hawthorne you like another male? Shade, perhaps?" I was being mean, of course, but if there was something I had to know, it was why Pierce had separated me from my mate.

Nova flinched and growled lowly, "Fine!" She snapped loudly and I drew my shoulders up to my full height, my wings shuffling instinctively. "Pierce doesn't care about the Light Claws anymore. Shade told him everything because there was nothing to hide. Svana was in on it as well, Pierce isn't paranoid..." Nova paused, as if trying to find the right words. "Shade-" She began again, then stopped and started over once more, "Pierce is testing you. Shade knows about his plan."

I wasn't expecting that. "What?" Was my dumb reply.

"He needed to separate you from Shade to see how strong you are without him. Apparently all Shadow Claw fathers do this." Nova lowered her ears and opened her mouth to speak a last time, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Hawthorne doesn't know though and I wanted to tell you, I-I just..." She sighed, "I overheard your parents talking. Svana tried talking Pierce out of it, but they swore me to secrecy."

I shifted and clutched my head, the information starting to cloud my vision. "I-" I stumbled back, "I need to be alone-"

*

The rain was cold. The wind was freezing. The heartbreak was petrifying.

I had ambled all the way to my clan camp from Hogwarts, through the howling and shrieking of the skies. I found my father and mother in their cave - it was a spare but Shade offered it to them - but the Shadow warriors, along with some Fire Claws and Chaos Claws stood a strong barrier around the area. I stalked through the clearing and into their cave, and they shot up from their sleep.

"Shadow?" Svana mumbled, "What are you doing out there?" She blinked at me and I snarled at them, "HOW COULD YOU!?"

Pierce groaned, "Nova." He cursed, "Shadow, listen-"

"No. YOU listen, father."  I hissed venomously, "Shade knows about this plan of yours, right? This is ridiculous! What does it matter if I'm weak?! What does it matter if I use a blade to express my loneliness?!" I was crying by that point, "How could you...?!" I sunk to the floor and wept, mainly because I missed Shade. I needed him.

I accepted that I needed him. I accepted that I was weak without him.

However, I would not accept that my father would penalize me because of it.

"Shadow, please." Svana padded up to me and curled around me, using her tail to wipe away my tears. She looked crestfallen, and I sobbed. My life had been hard, and I knew that other would cope differently, but I didn't have any support to convince me of other ways to express myself. The negative approach was always my first try. Over the years, I had tried other ways, but so far until then, none had worked and I'd be reduced to a sobbing pool of blood.

"Why do you feel like this?" Svana asked.

"I used to feel like that." I murmured.

"Right. Why did you feel like that?"

"I felt that way because I seeked approval of people that never cared. That were never there for me. Especially feelings, like I needed to feed them, as with what I feel towards my mate."

"Shade, you mean?"

"Mhm. I seeked attention too. Approval and attention of standards I could not reach, and I beat myself up about it."

"How so?"

"Razors. Scissors. Kitchen knives. Shards of glass. Metal. Anything sharp I could get my hands on."

"How bad did it get?"

"I didn't get out of bed one day..."

"And...?"

"And it stayed that way for three consecutive days."

"What happened to you after that?"

My downfall proved to be my uprising, I think. It's true - what they say - it gets better after the darkest hour. You just have to survive it first."

"Did it get better?"

"That's just it."

Svana and Pierce shared a look.

"Just... it?" She uttered.

"I'm still fighting for that answer."