Jonghyun liked showing displays of affection through skins.
Gwiboon concluded so after constantly visiting his house. She never hated it, even from the very first day—from the very kiss they shared.
Sometimes, Jonghyun would purposely lie down beside Gwiboon, pressing his head onto Gwiboon’s nape and ask what she’s doing or there were times he’ll hug her from behind and kiss her forehead, cheeks and lips without saying anything. At first, the younger didn’t know how to react. Jonghyun’s audaciousness was quite expected but the very moment was still too absurd for reality. For a novice like Gwiboon, everything seemed to come out of novels.
Whenever they interact, Gwiboon would try to look into his eyes and read it but it never gave away anything. It was never lustrous, needy or enraged. Instead, it was hard to decipher, hard to interpret. In general, it was something blank and unreadable. In a sense that only Kim Jonghyun knows of.
One night from work, Jonghyun decided to cook for the both of them. Gwiboon was furious that evening, complaining about a rather disdainful encounter with her professor earlier that day. He suddenly asked them to make an essay about the book of some dead person’s biography and write a 10-paged reaction paper about it.
“And you know what’s worse? It is due tomorrow morning.” Gwiboon complained, shuffling back to the sofa but she settled on the floor. Jonghyun smiled, watching his little girl infuriate alone.
“It’s okay.” Jonghyun reassured. “You’re a great writer.”
Gwiboon couldn’t help but smile when she heard that but that smile didn’t last too long when she heard his phone ring.
“Hello?” He answered. “Yes. Tonight? I’m afraid I can’t.”
“Yes?” A sly smile gracing on his lips.
“Tomorrow night?”
“Sure, yep.”
“No worries, anything for you.”
“Okay, bye.”
Gwiboon did nothing but watch him. Even if she was intrigued as of who the caller was, she never asked. She was scared that Jonghyun will tell her, what? So what if it was my girl? So what if I am not in love with you? You were the once who barged in. Now so what?
Relationships without foundations and commitments are hard to maintain. Without patience and trust, the whole process might just hurt both sides even before it starts. On their case, Gwiboon does all the patience and trust since Jonghyun never really seemed to care. While Gwiboon struggled to make everything work, Jonghyun could only make the situation worse; as if his actions were intended to ruin what they have.
So she just proceeded with her essay and never brought it up, although it was evident in her face that she was discontented in a way.
“Pasta’s ready. Get up, Gwiboon-ah.” Jonghyun called from the kitchen.
Gwiboon pretends she never heard anything, continuously typing away her essay which isn’t getting any better. The book wasn’t anything concerning or interesting. In addition, Gwiboon never liked biographies so it was hard for her to finish the book. She was never engrossed in other people’s lives—except Jonghyun’s.
Jonghyun sauntered near Gwiboon with a plateful of Fettuccine in his hand. “Take a bite of my masterpiece, come on.” He tried to invite her again and Gwiboon didn’t even flinch.
Losing his patience, he gulped a mouthful of pasta and scooted closer to Gwiboon. He sat beside Gwiboon and looked her, saying nothing.
“What?” she tilted her head towards Jonghyun and she almost regretted doing so when his lips crashed into hers.
But she didn’t, she didn’t regret it because she kissed him back.
He tasted of butter and parmesan, lots of it—with a hint of pepper and cream.
When they opted for air and broke the contact, Gwiboon rapidly searched for his eyes and asked “What are you doing, really?” she knew to herself that it meant something else, that it wasn’t literal but she hoped he’d never understand what it meant.
“I told you, you need to taste what’s missing on my pasta. I needed your response.” She smiled at his response, kissing him again.
“You—I mean, the pasta, taste fine.” She gave another peck, eyes closed.
Jonghyun shoved the plate near her. “Now eat this. Finish it!”
When Jonghyun does this kind of things though, it gave her false hopes. Internally, she still hoped that they’re going to have a normal relationship. That someday, Jonghyun is going to love her as much as he loves him. Someday, he’s going to pay attention only to her. And that someday, he’ll also try to make things work.
Her mind does not think it was possible but her heart hoped.
True to his words, Jonghyun spent the night with person he phoned the night before.
When she reached his door, nobody answered. It was one of those nights that Jonghyun had stayed out. She had no idea on what he was doing or who he was with. She never dared to ask because she believed that she had no right to know or be curious, at least.
She was too scared to lose him.
‘Are you staying out again? Text me if ‘ erase, erase. Gwiboon tried for the 5th? 15th? She got lost in counting.
It was the third time in a row that Jonghyun didn’t go home. She felt restless about it, possibilities arousing in her head. He might have found himself a girlfriend, a steady one. Or maybe, someone died? Maybe his parents brought him back home?
She doesn’t know. She would never know.
The anxiety ran though her veins, time ticking away pressured her. She paced back and forth, since there was nothing else to be done. She thought and panicked until she was close to explosion. What if I really meant nothing to me or what if he ran away filled her mind. Half of her thoughts worried about his well-being, what if something happened to him? What if he was badly hurt he couldn’t contact her?
But that wasn’t strongly possible cause for the past few days, she have ringed him at least 4 times a day and texted him twice—although she wanted to do it every minute that have passed, she couldn’t since it might trigger him to really dump her, that is if he still haven’t left her for good.
So when the fourth day came, when she finally couldn’t take it anymore, when her own two feet was dragging her already, she went back to the place where they first met; the club where Jonghyun was working at.
She briskly walked and scanned the place, as if she was on a hurry. Although there are a lot of things that they didn’t have in common, socializing on clubs was the biggest opposition between them. She never liked crowded and loud places; she preferred the mellow and peaceful coffee shop type.
A couple of neck breaking tilts and 15 steps later, she found Jonghyun. It wasn’t that hard to locate the later. His bleached hair do stands out through the crowd. She never detested it since it looked best on him, and by best she meant no one else could go well with that style.
Coincidentally, Jonghyun also turned to her direction—slightly waving his hand. She waved back only to realize that he wasn’t actually looking at her, but the one in front her. The said girl was wearing a black leather dress, sleeveless and above the knee in length, fashionably designed with a zipper on the back. Miss Mini Black dress enclosed her distance to Jonghyun after the casual greetings. And by enclose, it also meant that she pressed her lips on his, boldly.
Gwiboon watched from a far, a tear streaking on her cheek. Her body was shaking and she didn’t know if she could still withstand the pain etching on her heart. She just witnessed what she was so afraid of. When Jonghyun tilted his head, eyes finally opened, he saw Gwiboon and her rather devastating state. She wiped her tears and walked away with a really heavy heart.
A/N: Oops, this one took really long? I'm sorry about that I wrote 3/4 of this last month and I just didn't know how to continue. WRITER'S BLOCK, as they call it. Anyway, I hope you like it. :D
