She walked off the bustling establishment, wishing she could leave her feelings behind as well. Sorrowful tears brimmed onto her eyes, slightly blurring her vision. She didn’t care anymore. She just want to sleep for a really long time and forget everything that she was feeling, what was inside her.
It was the first time she had proven that one’s chest will really ache when they face emotional difficulties. Gwiboon thought that it was a metaphor of some sort, that people are being ridiculous by linking heart into love interactions. Jonghyun made her feel things in different aspects, truthfully speaking, all of the aspects she could think of. When he touched her, she trembled, feeling something unusual on her stomach. When he told her simple things, her heart would skip a beat like literally. And when he broke her heart, she thought she couldn’t breathe—suffocating, as if she was being choked.
Running thoughtlessly, Gwiboon crossed the intersection in a hurry. Some car’s headlights flashed through her, an angry burst of automobile horn to accompany it.
“Gwiboon!” Jonghyun yelled from across the street. He almost had his heart dropped when the man stepped on his vehicle’s break. When he sensed that she was already far from danger, he crossed the road and bowed to the man, saying he’s sorry for he does not know how many times.
Gwiboon was still dazed, remaining silent. Even by the time when Jonghyun was escorting him to the side pavement, or by the time when Jonghyun started shouting.
“Kim Gwiboon!” He shook her by the shoulder. “Do you want to die?!” That was the time Gwiboon started to look at his eyes, still half lifeless. But right after she did, tears started to form again. It never seemed to fade, never seemed to cease. When she saw him, she didn’t want to do anything but cry.
He softened by the action, removing her hands off Gwiboon’s shoulder.
“Let’s stop this, Gwiboon-ah. Please?” he sighed defeated, refusing to look at her. “Stop doing this to yourself. You don’t deserve it.”
“What do you want me to do, Jonghyun?” she searched for his eyes, looking for an answer. “I want to stop, I want to know what’s happening but I can’t ask.”
“What do you mean you can’t ask?”
“I want to know what’s happening with your life. I want to ask what you were doing with her. I want to ask why you’re doing this to me.” She stopped, biting her lips in exasperation. “But I can’t. It’s hard, it’s frustrating! Especially when I know I don’t have a definite place in your life.” She said the last part in an almost inaudible manner but it was the statement that gave Jonghyun the biggest impact.
Silence engulfed the both of them. Both heads begged to scrutinize the situation. They found their selves sitting on the bus stop where a bus could head to Gwiboon’s dorm.
“You’re right. We don’t have a specific meaning to one another.” Jonghyun broke the silence which felt like it was triggered since age ago. “but I won’t lie and I won’t explain. Ask me your question and I’ll answer it truthfully.”
“Who’s that girl?”
“She’s Junghee.”
“What’s your relationship?”
“One of my hook-ups. We were together since the last day you saw me and yes, just like what you’re thinking we—“ Gwiboon hung her head low telling him to stop, he obliged, feeling the sting painted on her face. He couldn’t stand it but he decided to continue.
“We did it.” He repeated, completing his sentence.
As if on cue, Gwiboon’s bus has marked its arrival, causing the girl to run into it—without looking back, with her face full of tears. Jonghyun didn’t try to stop her, it was for the better. He wanted her to leave, to think twice in staying with him. He wanted her to realize that he is not the person she thought he is.
