"BREATHE" (One Direction fanfic)

Chapter Fourteen

     After Niall dropped my off at my hotel room I buried my face in his scarf one more time before heading to my room. I took off the warm scarf and hung it around my bed post but when I turned around to head out to the kitchen; my hand bumped into something and sent it flying across the room. Shit, what if it was Renae’s, she’ll kill me. I knelt down to pick it up, it was a pair of familiar Ray Bans, mine…or well Harry’s, to be more specific. I still remembered the cheeky way he grinned when he plopped them on my head. No, stop it. Harry’s just a friend. I had to remind myself as I lay the Ray Bans back on the dresser and headed towards the kitchen. A friend that you’re currently still avoiding, whatever. I opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk, a bowl of Coco Puffs seemed to be what I needed right now. But as I took the first bite, I was reminded of our first party with One Direction, Harry and I eating Coco Puffs together from the same bowl. Great, now Coco Puffs remind me of him. I thought bitterly as I heard the front door click open. I glance at my watch, Marie and Audrey should still be at their nail appointment, so I guess it must be Renae. I headed to the living room to greet her but found her shirtless in her bra, kissing some guy, a guy with curls of brown hair. I absent mindedly dropped the bowl of cereal in shock.          

     “HOLYMOTHEROFGODWHATAREYOUGUYSDOING?!”

     Harry quickly pulled away from Renae, his eyes wide when he saw me standing there in the dim kitchen light. Renae just rolled her eyes.

     “God Yuka, we’re doing something private.” She said casually as Harry hesitantly smoothed his shirt, lowering his eyes. I stuttered for a few seconds, unsure of how else to react to Renae’s calmness. But she was right; their relationship had nothing to do with me.

     “I’m just gonna…um…you guys…uh, good day.” I said quickly grabbing my cellphone and bolting out the door. I didn’t really know where I was going by I was blinking rapidly, trying not to cry.

     “Yuka?”

     I heard a familiar Irish accent and zoned back to earth, I was in front of Niall’s hotel room. He saw my tears and furrowed his eyebrows.

     “What’s wrong?” I didn’t answer him; all I did was bury myself in his arms and cried freely.

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(HARRY’S POV)

     I felt ashamed, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but the way Yuka looked at me. I just couldn’t look her in the eyes.

     “Now, where were we?” Renae says, caressing my cheek and leaning forward to kiss me. I leaned back and pulled her hand away from my face.

     “Actually, I don’t really—

     “It was Yuka, wasn’t it?” Renae looks straight into my eyes with her sapphire blue ones, they were piercing.

     “What?”

     “Yuka, you like her, don’t you?” Renae asks, her face gone of all the affection she had five seconds ago. I didn’t say anything and she leaned back against the couch with a bitter laugh.

     “Oh my god, I can’t believe this. How can you like her?” I swallowed, not answering Renae’s question. She continued staring at me, her serious expression softened, she looked hurt.

     “Then what do you think of me?” She questions softly.

     “We’re friends.” I answer, I admit it’s a stupid answer, and I could have guessed what she’d say to it.

     “Friends?” She says sarcastically. “We do a lot more than what friends do.”

     “I—

     “Goddammit, Harry, why Yuka?” Renae asks again, louder this time. She still looked pained, but angry at the same time. “I’m more talented, more available, more in love with you than she is! Why do you like someone as messed up as her!?”

     “She’s not messed up, Renae.” I said defensively, how could she say that? They’re supposed to be best friends, sister almost. Renae looks at me then laughs to herself, quietly.

     “What’s so funny?”

     “You really don’t know her, do you Styles?” Renae says in triumph. “You think Yuka is this innocently artsy girl. She’s messed up as fuck, emotionally damaged.”

     I knitted my eyebrows together, confused. What was Renae trying to get at?  

    “What do you mean?”

     “Her fucking parents use to abuse her mentally and physically, she would come to my house with bruises and a bust up lip and stay with me for days at a time.” Renae says, every word seemed to be dripping with poison. “Why else do you think she never talks about her personal life, why else do you think she’s always so reluctant to let people in close?”

     “I…” I didn’t know. How could I know? Yuka never talks to me about this.

     “What…does she still fit into your fantasy now, as some cute little Asian girl who makes you feel normal?” Renae asks. “How can she make you feel normal, when she’s not normal herself?”

     “Renae, stop.” I say sternly. Renae quiets but studies me with her cobalt eyes, watching my reaction. “I have to-

     “Fine, leave then.” Renae says with a frown and gets up to open the door for me. “Just think about what I said.”

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(NIALL’S POV)

     She came to me crying. I held her close to my chest and sent a glance at Zayn who nodded and retreated back to his room.

     “What’s wrong, Yuka?” I asked gently but she only shook her head. I noticed she had ran out with only her cellphone in hand; no coat or jacket. She was shivering in my arms in only a striped shirt, black skinny jeans, and white converse. “Hey, come here, let’s warm you up.”

     I led her to my room and wrapped my covers around her, leaning her head down against the soft pillows. “You can stay here, sleep it off, okay?”

     She nods absent mindedly and buries part of her face into my covers. I stand up to leave, only to be stopped by a single soft quiet word.

     “Stay…”

     I gave her a small smile and sat on the floor, leaning against the bed. I kissed her on the forehead and grabbed my acoustic guitar, softly strumming a few chords.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I’m not gonna move

Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand

Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

     I sing quietly as if this was a lullaby that could cure all her troubles with a single lyric. As I’m singing, she closes her eyes and I see tears streaming down her face and I feel broken as well. When she’s sad I’m sad, when she’s crying I feel like crying as well. I end the song with an echoing strum, my eyes red with tears.