Christmas Without You

Traditions

Things seemed to get worse from that night. Hiro woke up in the middle of the night, realizing he had fallen asleep in his bed sideways. That triggered him to remember that he didn't finish some of his assignments, one of which was due in a few hours. Completing that assignment along with getting ahead on another kept him awake until almost four in the morning. On top of that, he didn't fall back asleep right away, giving him less than two hours before his alarm went on. A grand total of four hours of sleep and another long day of school ahead of him.

Everyone seemed to notice his drained appearance. Aunt Cass sent him to school with a cup of hot chocolate to help keep him awake. At school, his friends constantly asked if he was alright. By the end of their last classes, they persuaded Hiro into letting them take him home. Despite him arguing that he was fine and needed to work on a project in his lab, they all knew he would benefit more from getting a break from the campus. Plus, they all could tell how much he needed a better night of sleep.

With nothing better to do, Hiro continued working on other assignments. Getting almost halfway done with his practice test seemed like a good place to stop and continue typing his essay. He felt accomplished; more so than yesterday for that matter. He couldn't even remember what had him so off last night.

That was until Aunt Cass called him down for dinner. He got to the table and everything seemed to hit him at full force again. He had a perfect view of everything. Tadashi's stocking was hung up and right in between his and Aunt Cass's. The tree which had some of Tadashi's homemade ornaments on it. Family photos on the mantle from past Christmases. He was glad that Aunt Cass put them up, but it still made him miss Tadashi a lot. He wasn't with them at the dinner table sharing stories about his day. He wasn't there to low-key ask what they wanted for Christmas. His chair was empty, the house was more quiet and it was starting to get to Hiro as the minutes passed by.

The worst part for him was that he couldn't fake happiness in front of Aunt Cass. She noticed how he poked at his food and how small his bites were.

"Hiro? Is everything alright?" she asked, watching him take another crumb-sized bite of his meal.

He shrugged in response, not even making eye contact with her. "I d'know. Maybe I'm coming down with something," he lied. Though it was common for Hiro to catch a cold in December, he felt fine...health wise anyway. There really wasn't a point for him to lie to her. For now, it seemed to be easier fibbing on a sickness than talking about Tadashi. It was weird for him to be like this. He had been getting better about sharing stories involving him or joining in on a memory. Why was now suddenly different?

He was interrupted from his thoughts by the gentle touch of Aunt Cass's hand on his forehead. "Hm, you don't feel warm. Your color is fine too," she examined. She of course didn't buy that Hiro was sick. She could sense that there was something bothering him, but she couldn't quite place it. His friends did bring him home a little early from school...

"Maybe you're just stressed over all the school stuff. You work so hard, sweetie. Maybe you should take a break. I'm sure a Christmas special will be on tonight."

Right she was, because an hour later, the 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' came on. Out of all the specials that aired during the holidays, this was one of the few that they watched every year. Hiro decided to watch it; he actually started to enjoy himself. Every time Aunt Cass quoted something at the same time a character would say it, it made him smile. Then came one of the most memorable parts. The part where Charlie Brown picks the only real tree there is despite its size. It was small and dropped pine needles with every movement, but he still picked that tree. That's something Tadashi would have done, Hiro thought.

As he thought that, his smile slowly faded. He was suddenly overcome with more holiday memories. Tadashi loved this Christmas special. He remembered the way he smiled at the end when everyone decorated the tree and sang. His commentary and small chuckles were some of the little things he yearned to hear again. Hiro glanced over at his brother's stocking. It felt so wrong to him that there wouldn't be anything to put inside it. This was always Tadashi's favorite holiday. Is it even really Christmas without him?