Christmas Without You

Acceptance

Dawn broke through the window sills as Christmas day began. Every year beforehand, this would be the time where Tadashi would awaken. He didn't need an alarm to wake up so early on Christmas morning; he just would. He'd always be awake first. And with that advantage gave him the opportunity to wake Hiro up. He jump on his bed, kick the sheets around and shout, "It's Christmas, it's Christmas!" Tadashi went lengths to get Hiro out of bed on their favorite holiday. Unlike him, Hiro was not a morning person and insisted on sleeping in despite it being a special day. But that wasn't how Tadashi was. He was like a big kid on Christmas and would fling Hiro up on his shoulders if he had to to get him downstairs. Hiro had never missed such a bittersweet wake up call so much. He hoped that maybe it would happen again today out of nowhere. Maybe everything that was meant to happen would fall back into place, even if it was for just one day.

It didn't.

Hiro did, in fact, wake up at dawn, but it wasn't the way Christmas had been. The morning person maniac that was Tadashi was no longer there to knock off his bed in the middle of his Christmas dance. His sheets laid as messy as they got while Hiro slept.

He looked over to Tadashi's side of the room, tracing over his personal items with his eyes. His room was so perfectly straightened up; just the way he left it. Yet, it felt so incomplete without Tadashi inhabiting it. Hiro shook his head at the painfully silent area, but continued staring in the corner. A small, crooked smile made its way on his face. "Merry Christmas, Tadashi," he whispered.

A frown came back as he focused his attention back on his sheets. Surely there was a time where Hiro used to think Tadashi jumping around was funny. When did that stop? Why didn't I enjoy it more?

He wasn't sure if it was a sudden burst of energy or just his holiday spirit finally kicking in, but something inside him caused him to rip the sheets right off his own body. Standing on his bed, he bounced up and down, kicking sheets into a messier form. The springs creaked and the comforter rustled as it was repeatedly stepped upon. "It's Christmas, it's Christmas!" Hiro yelled with a toothy grin getting wider by the second.

Jumping off his bed, Hiro rushed downstairs to the second floor. He got a chance to catch his breath. The tree had never looked so empty. There were only a few presents and mostly for him. The tree never looked like it was exploding with gifts growing up, but this wasn't how Hiro pictured it. He hadn't prepared himself for the lack of presents. In the past, he didn't care if every present wasn't for him; the gifts added to the magic Christmas day gave. The happiness that Hiro felt in his heart dropped more and more as he let the sight sink in. This isn't Christmas...

Two gentle, but strong hands landed on his shoulders; the sensation of its touch was the one he recognized as his aunt's. It was rare for him to ever see her in her pajamas. Her night shirt, lavender, reached down to her ankles. Feet covered in slippers of a darker shade of purple. Her hair a slight mess and not a hint of make-up. But the thing he noticed most was her warm smile. Cass draped her arms around Hiro's neck, squeezing him in her usual embrace. "Merry Christmas, Hiro," she greeted, leaving quick peck on the top of his head.

Returning the hug, Hiro let out a small chuckle. "Merry Christmas, Aunt Cass," he greeted back. He turned his attention back to the tree, feeling his grin whither away. How can I get through this? How can I sit here and open my gifts without Tadashi? Where are his gifts? Why can't he be here to celebrate with us? This isn't fair.

"Pretty sad, isn't it?" Cass stated, interrupting Hiro from his thoughts.

Sad? This is the worst Christmas has ever looked in the house. C'mon, wake up, Hiro. Let this all be some messed up dream that I can wake up from. This can't be real. This can't be happening. I can't not spend Christmas without Tadashi. "Yeah," he whispered. He looked back over to her, putting on a weak side grin. "But, I think it's nice," he added.