Don't Say You Love Me More

Part 7

Juliette's POV

We sat here for three fucking hours. And there was still no sign of Matty. Therefore the most debilitating thing was that we didn't even know if we would hear something of him again. After the ambulance arrived we followed it to the hospital. The doctors seemed to know exactly what to do , just asked us what we had witnessed so far and Adam showed them the pillbox.

I was impressed by how fast and assured they were and how fast they got Matty to the hospital. At the accidents and emergency department we sort of lost him then. We just saw how they carried him into a room. Of course we got to the reception and asked if they could tell us anything. But as we didn't belong to the family they weren't allowed to tell us.

Going to the hospital just reminded me of my time here after I tried to kill myself and it made me unspeakable uncomfortable to be here again. But now here we were. Adam as well as I were completely frustrated, without knowing if our attendance would change anything or if we would just go away from here without any result.

But I couldn't just drive home and wait for a message or something, plus; as I tried to kill myself Matty stayed with me the entire time...I just had to wait here, even if that would take the entire night.

Adam sat on the chair next to me, looking at the wall opposite us. Although I was tired as fuck, every little noise made me look up immediately. I was a total nervous wreck and couldn't help it but always had to think if Matty also felt so horrible as I tried to commit suicide.

In order to break the unbearable silence I decided to ask Adam: "Did Matty also feel so helpless and whacked as...I...tried to...kill myself?", it was still a bit difficult for me to talk about this theme because I actually always tried to simply forget it and live my life as normal as possible again. And with Matty that always seemed so easy...

Adam laughed nervously. "Helpless? Whacked? Yes, that might be one way to describe how he felt. Totally exhausted, shocked, desperate would be just a few other adjectives one could use...".

Thanks Adam, that just made me feel even worse.

Again I stared at the ground for a while. Fuck. We waited another ten minutes until suddenly a door down the hallway opened. Of course we expected a nurse or a doctor on their way to another room or patient. But it was Matty. My heart skipped a beat as I saw him, alive, standing right there. He closed the door and walked a few steps down the hallway as if nothing had happened.

Then a nurse opened the door saying: "Mr Healy, I'm afraid you have to stay here. At least for the night".

Adam and I instantly stood up from our chairs and made our way to Matty and the nurse.

"I'm doing well", Matty said with a voice clear and believable.

Neither Matty nor the nurse had noticed us so far, although we just stood circa two meter away from them.

"You're obviously not. We can't just let you go, unfortunately. You took some serious drugs and are not in the condition to decide about your stay here."

Matty focused the nurse suddenly completely confused.

"What? No, I don't want to stay here. I have to go home", the nurse just sighed and then finally looked at us.

"How can I help you two then?" She said to Adam and me.

"We...are friends of him..." Adam slowly said.

She examined us for a second before saying: "Okay. Then could you please try to explain to him that whatever happens he has to stay here for the night? It's just for his own safety."

I looked at her, then at Matty who had buried his head in his hands and back to her.

"Well he seems relatively...normal", Adam submitted.

"He might seem like that right now but we don't know how the drugs will effect on him in a few hours or even minutes. Usually things like this end with strong headaches, vomiting or even heart problems", the nurse explained.

We stayed silent and looked at each other for a second. Matty took two steps and leaned against the wall. In the next second he would have collapsed if I hadn't been right by his side. I immediately reacted by grabbing his arm and helping him to stand safe again. He lifted his head and looked at me for a second. Not only his iris also the rest of his eyes were extremely dark and it seemed like he needed a bit to remember who I was.

"Get off of me", Matty then said. "You fucking cheated on me".

Every single word, and the anger he spoke them with, hurt my heart as if he was stabbing a knife into it. So I could do nothing else but standing in this floor while he turned around and tried to walk away again.

"Mr Healy", the nurse yelled.

"Adam, do something", I cried, feeling the first tears on my cheeks again.

Now it was Adams turn to run after Matty and grab his arm.

"Hey mate, don't you think it'd be better, if you stayed here?", he asked Matty as polite as possible.

"But I'm doing fine", he complained.

They continued arguing a bit while I sat down on a bench, like an injured animal. My tears kept splashing to the ground while Adam still talked to Matty.

"I don't want the press or anyone to know I'm here", was Matty's newest reason why he couldn't stay here.

"No one knows, I promise" Adam answered.

Then the three of them were silent.

"Can't you tell George to come here? I want my best friend!" now Matty sounded like a fucking child.

I suddenly felt a mixture of anger and desperation. But there was something else I was feeling...jealousy? Adam sighed obviously completely annoyed.

"Okay Matty, if you promise me to stay here with this nice lady", he looked over to the nurse, "I promise I'll tell George to come to the hospital as soon as possible".

It seemed like Matty needed to think a bit about this offer before finally saying: "Okay...I guess that's acceptable".

Then the nurse finally could take Matty back with her; by now he was just silent. Adam and I watched them both going away. And we were alone again. I dried my tears a bit and sorted my hair as I felt Adam's arm on my shoulder.

"Should we go?", he asked softly.

I nodded and he helped me to stand up.