Lust. (Jason McCann)

Chapter 18

Jason's POV

I stared at the beautiful woman snoring quietly in my arms, one of my hands wrapped tightly around her waist and one rested on her ass.

Something I found out last night.

My princess likes booty rubs. Like a lot. Like so much she almost.. Ok never mind. Let me get back to my princess.

Her head was against my strong chest and she held my shirt tightly in her hands whimpering softly. Gently I ran my finger over her nose knowing something was wrong.

Baby? I whispered in her ear watching her whimper louder and start to shake in my arms.

Fear clouded my vision, we talked a lot last night about her, her mom.. her nightmares. Her fear.

"She was so beautiful J. My mom she was the most beautiful woman in the world even when she was suffering even when she was in so much pain she couldn't stand. Even when she had no hair and she had a dent in her skull from her surgery. She was still, the most beautiful woman in the world. Because that smile, God, that was her legacy. But baby, when I close my eyes all I can remember is her telling me goodbye the night before and I can't even explain to you the nightmares I have. I just need you to be there for me... Please.." She whimpered.

"Always." I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

-back to now-

I gently picked her up in my arms and I stood up to take her upstairs so if she wakes up she can have a nice shower to calm her down, her nightmares aren't like mine, they aren't scary they're terrifying. I know by the way she shakes and sweats and how many tears run down her beautiful face.

I layed her down on the bed and cupped her face pressing my lips to hers.

"Baby.." I whispered.

She just stayed asleep her whimpering getting louder.

I've had enough. I can't see her like this, I know how much it hurts her to feel this way.

"Princess!" I yelled shaking her gently.

She jumped up her eyes bloodshot red and she gasped covering her face.

"No.. No.. No.. No.." She whispered shaking.

"Come on babygirl, let's go take a shower okay?" I whispered.

She nodded softly and raised her arms as I slid my shirt off her body, staring at her gorgeous body, her blue panties and nude coloured bra and I whispered. "Is it okay if?.. "

"Yeah.." She whimpered her voice shaking slightly.

I quickly undid her bra trying not to pay attention to her almost naked body for the reason that she was feeling like shit and it's not the time for me to get horny when my princess is hurting.

I slid her panties down her legs and threw them to the side picking her up by her thick thighs that I absolutely loved and squeezed them gently wanting her attention.

She looked at me slowly and my heart broke at the few tears that ran down her cheeks. I pressed my lips to hers and mumbled.

"You have to smile, if not for you. For me. If not for me for your god damn mom. Do that for her. Be strong for her." I growled. Knowing how she likes to be helped, she doesn't like me to say, I know how you feel and shit. She needs to know I care a lot.

She nodded and smiled softly still not speaking as I stepped into the shower placing her down. As I turned around to leave her hand caught mine.

"Don't go.." She looked down embarrassed.

I smirked softly and pulled my boxers off slowly and stepped into the shower turning the water on, as the warm water hit my back before it did hers slowly I brought her into the water and she stopped tensing up as the water washed away her tears.

I just held her in my arms as the water ran over us.

I grabbed the shampoo with one hand my other still wrapped tightly around her so she was held against my chest.

"Liliana." I mumbled just staring at her as I poured some shampoo in my hands massaging it into her scalp.

She looked up at me. "Jason.." She mumbled back holding me tightly.

I just thought about how terrifying this is. I'm already so attached to her as she is to me.

I'm literally in the shower with her naked and I'm not pounding into her like a slut.

This has never happened before, all the girls I've been with.. They've never just wanted attention. They want to be fucked.

Quickly I stepped out the shower letting the water wash out her hair, I watched as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Where are you going?.." She sighed quietly.

"I-.. I need to go. I'm not attached to you the way you are to me. You're so annoying." I rolled my eyes, my heart breaking, as I tried to convince myself I'm not attached.

I watched her look down and she just laughed her voice cracking. "God damnit Jason. Get the fuck out. I know you're not ready for commitment. I know you're a fuckboy. I am attached to you but I don't need you to be attached to me. So get the fuck out."

My eyes widened at what I just said.

"Baby! Wait.. I-" I yelled as she grabbed her towel wrapping it around her.

"Fuck off. When I'm breaking and I'm sad. Don't fake your feelings just to make me feel better." She sighed angrily.

Growling at my own mistakes I grabbed her waist and turned her around.

"No. Baby, I wasn't faking, everything I did was to take care of you. I like you a lot you know.." I sighed.

"I know, I like you more but you can't keep acting sweet and then turning around and acting like you don't want this." She frowned.

I pulled her towel off her so we were both naked and I sat on the bed with her on my lap.

"I know. I'm just scared. Of commitment. Of how good this is working. Of how perfect you are. I'm scared."

"I know you are.. But you can't get mad at me for that.. you promised me you would try." She cupped my face pecking my lips.

"I will babygirl. I will." I wrapped both of my arms around her waist staring down at her frowning at how badly I almost fucked up.

"Thank you, for forgiving me so fast." I scratched the back of my neck.

"I know you're an idiot. But I do love and care for you. So." She smirked pushing me down as her lips pressed roughly to mine.

Gripping her ass tightly in my hands I kissed her back harder.

This is going to be a great fucking day.

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What do you think about Jason's issues with commitment?
Do you think he has a right to be that afraid of ruining his "rep" or ruining who he is for Liliana.

Tell me bc I think he's being annoying af like boy you can't have both.

Anyways. Hmu babes.

Long chapter since I haven't updated in 1848429833848 years.

Pce.

-Leila fam