Im Not Ok (Phanfic)

Chapter 2: Meeting neighbors

Dans pov

PJ grabbed my hand and started to drag me towards his mum. His hands are so soft yet have a strong grip. It feels kinda nice holding his hand. PJ said "Dan, this is my mum. Mum, is Dan allowed to sleep over? Ill clean up before he comes if you want."

"Sure. And ill clean up, you go have fun with Dan!" She said happily

"She seems nice."
"Yeah, she likes when I have people over. I don't usually have friends over, so be prepared for anything i guess." PJ said giggling

"Dan, PJ. Dinner time! Go wash up first." My mum yelled

"Ok!" We both said

We went into my bathroom and PJ saw my straightener. He was just staring at it. Not talking, not giving me a look, just staring at it.

We washed up and walked out, went downstairs and sat down with the rest of the people.

I was still scared at what happened in the bathroom. PJ brought me into my bathroom, and I saw a straightener there. I was wondering why my straightener was out, and there was a note saying good luck. And all the bad memories came back. All the memories I tried to repress came back.

*flashback* "Dan get your lazy ass over here right now!" My mum says angrily

I should have never come out to her, I knew she wouldn't accept me. But I just had to come out, the guilt is killing me. Ive been hiding it for years. She was going to find out eventually.

"Dan I said get down here!" She says even angrier then before

"Coming mum." I say terrified

I walk downstairs to see my mom, with a bottle of vodka and I'm guessing by how shes standing that shes drunk.

"Dan. You're not asexual. Honey your just confused. Im brining you to therapy to fix it. Your not normal and we need to fix this." She says

I can feel a tear running down my face. *flashback over*

"DAN!" PJ yells
I shake my head and look around confused
"Dan oh my god you scared me! You started to shake so i brought you to your room and you started to cry and break down. Whats wrong? If you don't mind me asking." PJ asks worriedly

Should I tell PJ, or should I not. I mean I trust the guy but we just met today and he already took me to my room and I'm on my bed.

"Are you ok?" PJ asks

"U-um, yeah. I was just thinking." I say lying to PJ, but I just had to. I couldn't tell him yet.

"Ok. I know your not fine but if you want to tell me, I'm always open." PJ says

Oh my god he was so close to me when he said that. He was practically breathing on me. Wait but I'm not gay. I can't be gay. No I'm not gay.

"Daniel James Howell get down here right now! You ditched dinner!" My mum says once all the guests leave but PJ

"Sorry mum ill be right down." I say terrified thinking what she could do to me

I walk downstairs to see my mum, drunk again, struggling to stay up. She gets up and starts asking all these questions, but to be completely honest I don't care what she thinks. I just want to be at PJ's house right now.

"Ms. Howell. I think it's time for me and Dan to go over to my house. Thank you for having me over. Goodbye." PJ says trying to stop the yelling

"Yeah whatever. Dan, just don't come crying back to me when you come to your senses." My mum says in a rude tone

"BYE!" I say loudly, startling PJ

PJ's  pov

Dans mum was being so rude to him, it wasn't nice. That explains the shaking and unpredictable actions. I walked outside followed by Dan, who was shaking and looked like was having a panic attack. I don't know what to do during panic attacks! Ive never had one but I don't want him to cry.

"Uuh Dan, a-are you ok?" I say worried

"No. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all of the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry about my mum. And most of all, I'm sorry for existing." Dan says while crying

Does he really think he's a burden. He might be more broken then I thought. But I can fix him, just like I fixed my brother. He's married and happier then ever.

"Dan, your not a burden. And you are supposed to be here. And most of all its not your fault your mum yelled at you. She was drunk obviously and didn't know what she was saying. Why don't we walk to my house and play Mario kart. That will take your mind off of it." I say trying to be as calm as I can

"Yeah, good idea. Can we please go quickly before my mum comes out?" Dan says while crying

"Sure."

I brought Dan into my house and was immediately greeted by my mum asking if we wanted anything. It was nice. Dan took a hot chocolate and I had a coffee. We both walked into the kitchen to see my brother, who I haven't seen in over a year, and his wife. I throw off my jumper and run to hug them. My brother was so happy to see me, and with a friend.

Dan sat down while we were hugging and was tapping the intro to welcome to the black parade. I bolted up and fell back down laughing.

"Sorry. I didn't know you knew My Chemical Romance. And I didn't think you would react like that." Dan says laughing

"Yes, I love them. *cough* frerard for life *cough* what, did I just say that whoops." I say laughing my ass off

I grabbed his hand and he jumped back. He must be one of those jumpy people.

Thank you guys so much for reading and im so sorry it took a week to update, ive just been a little busy with school and pinof7 screaming.... Sooo yeah thank you for reading