Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

Happy

TWENTY

happy (adj.)
[happier, happiest]
1. delighted, pleased or glad, as over a particular thing
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment or joy

"Hey", Austin whispers as he pushes his lips to the side of my head. "Hey", I whisper back and flip to the next page of my book. We're in the hammock, enjoying the last bit of somewhat warm sun for this year. Winter is nearing.

"What are you reading?"
"Harry Potter."
"Which one?"
"Deathly Hollows."
"I thought you had already finished the series?", he says. "I'm re-reading. I felt like Harry Potter this morning." Austin hums and wraps his arms tighter around my middle.

I place one of my hands on both of his, that are resting on my abdomen, on top of each other. I start running my thumb along his knuckles. This is so great, because it doesn't feel weird.

It feels like I've been doing this for weeks, months even, and honestly, I kind of have. I mean, we've been cuddling and even kissing before Austin asked me out.

I can tell that he is starting to get bored, so I finish reading the page I'm on and then close the book, throwing it into the grass. "I'm cold", I whine, rubbing my arms that are only covered by thin, long sleeves. "Aw, poor little Alan.", Austin laughs and I sit up. "Let's go inside?" He nods and we get up, walking toward the house, after I've picked up my book. We've decided not to tell anyone from my family about us yet, although I'm pretty sure that my siblings will find out one way or another anyway.

We run up the stairs to my room, although we don't have any reason to be in a rush at all. I put the book next to my bed and sit down on it, my back to the wall.

"Can we cuddle?", Austin asks me quietly. I nod. Why does he seem so sad, though? We get comfortable in bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Austin?"
"Hm?"
"Why were you crying that day?", I whisper, although I don't know why (referring to the whispering haha).

"What day?"
"The first time you were out in the rain and I told you to come in."
"Oh, that."

Silence.

"Are you going to answer my question?", I ask, after a minute. "I... I don't really want to tell you."
"Why not? I can't tell anyone, because I have no friends anyway, remember?", I chuckle lightly to ease the tension.

"It's... My mom. My mom... She's sick, really sick and they don't know how much time she's got left. And my dad is... He's devastated and- and I don't know what to do. I yelled at him, and he yelled at me and my mom thinks it's all her fault that we're arguing. She's so sad about it, and it's all my fault." I can see that he's trying not to cry, but I see the tears that are welling up in his eyes. He tries not to blink so that they'll go away. I just smile sadly at him,

"You can cry if you want to."
As though these words were the 'okay' for his eyes, the tears finally start spilling and there seems to be no end. I unwrap Austin's arms from around me and instead I pull him into am embrace, although it feels strange.

"Oh god", he breathes as he's calming down, "I'm so sorry." He wipes at his cheeks with his shirt sleeves, trying to dry the tears. "For what? Crying? We're all human, Austin. It's okay to cry. It's okay to not be okay from time to time. We all have our moments. That's why the Romans used to say Errare humanum est."

Austin laughs lightly, "What the hell does that even mean?"
"It's Latin for Mistakes are human. The whole saying goes; Errare humanum est, set in errare perseverare diabolicum."

"You're too smart for me."
"Mistakes are human, but dwelling on mistakes is diabolic.", I translate.

"You're the best", he sighs and kisses my forehead.