Dancing in the rain

1

Chapter One

"....you won't leave! LUCY?! Are you even listening? We have to talk about this. Don't you dare opening this door. Lucy! What do you think are you doing?.."

"I'll be back tomorrow, love you Leah"

Oh, of course I do not love her. But it makes her furious, when I say it.

Sometimes I'm really sorry for her. She  always tries to re-educate me and act like my mother. But in fact she is not. She's just my foster mum. It's her second month and I think until now she's doing quite fine.

I'm meeting with some friends in town, so after going to the bus station and a nearly endless bus ride I ended up waiting on a park bench in the rain.

I am pretty early but I hate to be at home too much. Leah is really taking this "parenting-thing" way too serious, she was upset, because I haven't been much in school lately. I don't like when somebody feels like being responsible for me. There is no need for it. I guess it's true that I skip classes too often, but seriously, who cares? I am pretty intelligent so why spending more time than necessary in grey cold classrooms to listen to teachers, who are just too bitter about their own life to care about anyone else's.

About 20 minutes later Damien is sitting down next to me. Rain has stopped instead it's just foggy and cold. There are some days when weather and mood fit perfectly.

He is smoking, like always. I know it's probably stupid to smoke, but it looks too sexy on him. He's offering a cigarette to me  and as always I take it with pleasure.

"Leah?"

"Yeah... I was nearly getting warm with her. But today  she was so hysteric and stressed. She seems like she desperately needs a good fuck"

"Well.. she's pretty hot and especially if I would do you a favor.."

"Ugh, Leah's at least twice your age."

"I'm not that picky"

He smirks while saying it.

I know he's joking.

I really do.

But nevertheless it hurts.

It hurts because I love him, always done, probably always will. It's not just because he's hot, it is also because he is the one person, who was always there for me.

Also who could not love someone so handsome as him?

We kept on chatting, it was always so easy with him. I know it's cliche but yes I won't tell him that I am in love with him because of our friendship. He is the closest thing to brother, friend, family and lover I have and I am not capable of losing him.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

He means as friends, I'm sure about that.

"Love you too Damy", I smiled at him, feeling my heart aching.

After about half an hour finally  Will and Joey arrived.

"Hey guys", they said similarly.

"My toes are nearly freezing. I totally don't get why you are going there at all", was my friendly response.

"We all know you don't like school, but you know objectively it's not such an unimportant thing"

"Oh shut up"

We decided to go in the regular bar. The usual conversations. The same puns as every day.Nothing special. It was fun, but it was so common that I didn't listen most of the time, but instead drifting away in thoughts.

About one a.m. we left the bar and said our goodbyes. As usual we headed to "Damien's" place. Damien lives together with his brother in a small flat I am jealous that he is 18 and I am not. After a short walk we entered the apartment building. We tried to sneak in so we wouldn't have to wake his brother. I borrowed one of his T-shirts, on me it was more like a dress, and we went to bed.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Why do you think there's something wrong?"

"I know you, Lucy. Better than anyone else so what's wrong ?"

"Just thinking about life"

"Oh.. yeah life fucks us all, doesn't it?"

I didn't answer. No need for it.

He looked for something in a bag next to him.

"Hopefully you are doing what I think you're doing"

"Of course sweetheart. Want an own one or to share?"

"I love you Damien, but you know me better than to ask if I share pot. I never do"

He laughed and handed me a joint and light it the next second.

"Life sucks honey. But there are always moments which nobody could ever take away from us."

"You get poetic on your old days, Damien"

"Only for you"

I giggled.

We kept quiet and just enjoyed laying next to each other.

"you know what helps against a life that sucks ?", Damien asks.

"Sure"

"People"

"People?"

"Special people"

"An example?"

"You"

"Cheesy bastard"

"But kinda your cheesy bastard, darling"

"What's your point"

"Why do I have to have a point?"

"Because you always have"

"That's just partially true"

"So?"

"Would you like some distraction of life?"

"There it is"

He chuckled.

"So?"

"Always dickhead", I answered grinning

He smirked and we started kissing. It felt good. There is nothing comparable to the feeling of his soft lips on mine. But it was a bittersweet pleasure. I know he's just kissing me because of satisfying his needs and not because he loves me. He will never kiss me out of love.

It's the same with having sex with him. Feels amazing for the moment, but afterwards it just reminds you of what you can't have. One day he will meet someone, he will fall in love with and I will always just be the mistress
...and yeah that sucks.

After a last good night kiss I fell asleep.