Dancing in the rain

2

Chapter two

The next morning I returned to my "home". I had hoped that Leah was out, but of course she was not.

"Lucy, could we please talk?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"About you"

"About what particular?"

"About how you're always running away from your problems or from discussions and as I think about it, it seems like you're simply running away from everything.."

"What's wrong with that?"

"You have to know that you can't always escape. It's not possible."

"You know, I'm pretty fast. Can't I try?"

"No, you've tried enough, and look at you now. You're broken, rebellious, have no future. It can't go on like this"

"But it does. Life always goes on. Doesn't matter how much you try to stop it."

"What you're doing isn't a life it's only breathing. I want to help you. Can't you see how much I try to?"

"I do, but I simply don't care. I don't want to care either. There is one person I trust. One person I love. One person I care about. One person that knows everything about me. I'm sorry but I am not talking about you."

"But I can't go on like this. I can't let you destroy yourself as much as I can't help you without your support"

"So?"

"So there's two options, either you talk honestly with me about what's going on in that mind of yours or I will send you back"

I don't want to go back. I never wanted to. Everywhere but back. But I'm Lucy. I don't give in with blackmailing stuff. That's not me.

"Then it was a pleasure to meet you"

"Are you sure?"

"Not at all. But sometimes there are decisions you have to make just to stay loyal to yourself. I don't want to go back. Ever. But if that's the price I have to pay for being myself. For not giving in. For staying rebellious. I am willing to take it."

"You do too many decisions on principle. You shouldn't. Principles are for people who think pride is important, for the ones that don't have real values. Don't do it. Stay and talk with me. I'll make you tea and you tell me why you act like you do. We work together and I am helping you. It's important not to keep you all to yourself. You need to trust me, all I want to do is help you"

"You don't know me. Not at all. I don't trust anyone but Damien. I've trusted so much in the past and I regretted it every single time. I don't want to regret anymore. I don't want to be disappointed as much as I don't want to disappoint. I'm broken, you don't try help me you only try fixing me and this is the one thing you can't do. I'm far away from good or evil. I'm broken. "

I gave her a sad smile.

I turned around and before I make my way upstairs to pack. I said, with a small grin

"Just for you to know: pride is everything that is left of me. Who needs values anyways?"

"If you keep going you're leaving my house tomorrow"

"It was nice staying here. To this moment you're nearly my favorite ex- mum. I wish you the best"

I walked upstairs and thought about the most horrible place in this whole city. Then I decided to text Damien.

I'm leaving Leah. See you tomorrow evening xLucy

Sorry to hear that.. best luck for tomorrow. Never forget that I love you no matter what ~ Damien

I hate you for saying it all the time, you don't mean it you never do, I wanted to write. But I couldn't.

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Next day

Leah cried as her car stopped in front of the house, I have been so happy to leave all this months ago.

"Bye Leah"

"Bye my dear. If you ever need my help no matter what you can call. Oh I hate leaving you h.."

"It's okay. Don't worry it's me. I'll survive everything, even if i don't always want to, it's my fate", speaking the last part more to myself than to her.

.

.

As I enter the big wooden doors Tracy already waves her perfectly manicured hands in my direction.

"It's been much too long. You can't imagine how much we missed you in here. Travis is getting really strange without you"

Oh god no. I've hoped he left. Of course he didn't, it's not like things ever work out the way I want them to.

Travis is not getting strange. He always was "strange". People call him strange so they don't have to use words like aggressive, brutal, cynical, hardhearted.

Tracy handed me the keys for my old/new room, and I carried myself and my suitcase inside.

I didn't unpack. There is no need for it. It doesn't matter how long I stay here or how my room looks. This will never be a home. This will never be anything  else than hell.

I laid down on my uncomfortable old bed (which always smells a bit like pee) and stared on the white ceiling and started daydreaming.

About half an hour later, the inevitable had to happen.

A knock on the door.

I didn't react.

Another one.

Same reaction.

Then I heard his smooth silky but still psycho voice that always scares the hell out of me.

"Sweetheart, I know you're inside. Did you thought you could simply run away. After all I've done for you."..

.

.."I always protected you, loved you, kept you away from all the bad things in life. And what did you do?"

.

"You. You whore betrayed me. Not even just betraying. You also cheated on me. And for what? Just for that stupid son of a bitch you ruined everything we had..

Lucy, you open this door now or you will regret it."

I don't think so.

Travis was kind of my first "boyfriend". But that's more his side of the story.

Suddenly there was really loud noise and the door cracked open.

"Oh how I missed you, honey" he whispered loud enough for me to hear, with an wide evil grin on his face.