It's Finally My Weekend. (Jalex.)

Chapter 3. Jack.

I hear him shuffle, turning around. I bite my lip. I didn't know what to say. Or do. I can't tell him,

"No, Alex. I don't love you like that. I'm not gay."

But how does one tell their best friend they don't love them the same way and simply get over it? I frown. We've had moments. Experimentation. I just never wanted anything from it.

Back in highschool, Alex would get lots of girlfriends. I would get some, but I didn't get as many as he would. He wouldn't be interested in many of them. I suppose I should've caught it then. I noticed him staring at me. I noticed jealousy in his eyes when me and my girlfriend would kiss. I noticed, but I never thought it was anything but a.. I don't know. I just never thought he loved me.

He broke up with this girl. I can't remember her name. He, of course, came to me. It was an "in the moment" thing. We were watching a movie. I don't remember the name. I was too busy watching Alex play with his thumbs, looking nervous. He was outgoing, so it was strange that he was being so quiet and shy. I poked him, smiling. 

"What's wrong?"

He looked at me and laughed, jumping on my lap. We always played around like that. His arms wrapped around my neck, like always, and we played couple. Sex scene came on the television, and I bit my lip, watching Alex's eyes go from the moans on the screen to my face. He cupped my cheeks, leaning in, kissing me. His tongue slipped in mouth, and he massaged mine, adjusting himself that his legs were wrapped around my waist. I kissed back, holding onto his back. I craved touch. Not really for Alex, and I suppose that was wrong, but I wanted him at the moment.

I fell on the couch, laying down, tracing my fingers on his sides. He trembled under my touch, and I smirked. Finally, he moved away from my lips and brushed my neck, making me shiver. His shaking hands grabbed at my pants, and I gulped, watching him pull them down. I was messing with my boxers when we heard keys unlocking the door. We both sat up, and I threw a blanket over my slipping pants. Alex slid to the floor, changing the channel to something more G-rated.  His mom glanced in, smiled at us, and headed to her room.

It became a thing. Everytime we were together, alone, we would end up kissing, taking off partial clothing. We would always be interrupted before it got to anything seriously sexual. Finally, it became just kissing. Then pecks. Then nothing at all. Sure, he played around and brushed on my crotch for shits and giggles, but it wasn't anything serious. Or so I thought.

Seeing him now, upset about me not being gay for him, kind of hurt me. Maybe I led him on, maybe our "in the moment's" weren't so "in the moment" for him.

Other times, though, I think about us.

In a..couple way.

Not seriously enough to act upon it, but I think about his lips and his tastes. I think about him, not in a sexual way, but in a romantic way. Casually, but I still think about it. I wonder how often he thinks about it. I look back at the silent bunk.

I guess now I don't have to wonder.

I guess now I know.

He thinks about it every second of every day.

I bite my lip.

"I'm sorry, Alex."

I do love you.

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It's moving fast. o.o But, that's fine. I don't have a lot of time to work on this anyways. It'll probably end soon. And if anyone wants, I'll think about doing a high school one or something. Maybe a continuation of this.