Impractical Jokers: [Joker]x[Joker] Collection

Christmas Shopping (Joe/Sal)

Sal's been in a fit of laughter for three whole minutes over some phallic-looking kitchen appliance (was it a blender?) and Joe has been holding him up while trying not to lose his head. Deciding to come out together to do the shopping for the two more complicated of the bunch, they'd been tossing ideas around all day.

Every comic book they'd come across, Sal had dutifully reported that 'Oh, Q already has that one' and Joe had diligently listed off every bowtie and weird device that Murray owned. They seemed to be stuck at a crossroads, one that was not giving way easily on either side.

"We could just toss 'em a loop and say we've ordered somethin' from somewhere else. Could give us more time," Sal suggests, shrugging his shoulders. He has experience with getting Joe Christmas presents from other places due to the man being spontaneous at heart; Vulcano would rather him not spend stupid amounts of money on things he wasn't going to use again, rather he'd do him a favour and squander on a Christmas present that he would have had to get for him either way.

"Yeah but what the hell're we gonna say when they wake up on Christmas day with nothin'?"

The question makes Sal wince, hands curling in his pockets before he raises his shoulders as he shrinks back. Joe sighs.

"C'mon, bud, we'll just try another store."

X x

"Yes, yes, yes, oh-my-God, Murray is gonna flip!" Sal exclaims with excitement as he turns the gag-present over in his hands. A robot-control ferret, tail constructed cleverly to host an infrared system that made it respond to the controller. Joe laughs outwardly before rushing with the box to the counter.

When the two men approach the counter and slam the box definitively onto it, the cashier looks up and smiles brightly before beginning to scan it.

"Christmas shopping?" she chirps jovially, pressing an assortment of buttons on the register. Joe nods, taking hold of the conversation the way he normally does, though not before the lady speaks again."I'm sure your child will love it!"

Sal practically chokes on the breath he's taking. "Our chi– Murray–"

"Yeah, yeah," Joe interrupts, grinning and slinging an arm around the other man. So she's being a little presumptuous... but she's so happy, so bright, that Joe can hardly bear to embarrass her; he's kind like that, irrevocably so and it is a child's toy so he supposes he can't blame her for thinking they were buying for a younger audience- and he gets to fuck with Sal. "Our little James is a sucker for ferrets; loves 'em to death. Actually kind'a looks like one."

"Oh, that so sweet! I think it's so great that things are getting more progressive; two fathers buying for their child, it just makes me so happy! You two have a good Christmas, won't you?"

Sal has choked up, red rushing to his cheeks as Joe takes the bagged gag-gift from the lady and smiles before locking fingers around Sal's palm. Silently, a slight sweat on his forehead, Sal takes it and squeezes tightly.

"We will! Christmas is a really good chance to have us boys all together as a family... plus," Joe pauses, leans in a little and Sal feels the urge to cover his face with his free hand. "...it gives us adults a little time alone when the kid's all tuckered out, if y'know what I mean."

The lady flushes but she giggles cheerily, slapping Joe's arm lightly when he gives her a suggestive wink and laughs along with her. Sal is mortified... and yet the idea of snuggling close to Joe as Christmas draws to a close makes his heart thump and his pulse run quicker. It sounds good to him... but before he has chance to question himself any longer, Joe is dragging him out of the store by the hand with the box in his other, sly grin on his face as they step out into the cold night air.

Silence, and Vulcano finally dares to take his hand away from his face as soon as the dark of night overtakes them. Quiet, bated breath... and then Joe explodes with laughter, clinging to the other man's shoulders as legs give out beneath him. And Sal... as much as he wants to be angry and embarrassed, he starts laughing too, breaths wheezed as he sinks with Joe.

Soon enough, people are walking around them as they lower slowly to the ground, laughing so hysterically that they're trying to one-up each other in order to support themselves. Eventually, they find it in themselves to stand up, weak-limbed and gasping for air as Joe's fingers reassign to the bag handle and drag it from the pavement.

"Oh God... you asshole," Sal mumbles, wiping tears from his eyes as Joe stands up straight once more. His arm comes to link with the other man's, holding tightly as he leans in and presses a mocking kiss to his cheek. Exaggeratedly, Sal leans in and eskimo-kisses Joe so frantically that laughter leaves him once more. "Me and the boyfriend, makin' our way downtown."

Joe snorts. "Yeah, c'mon, baby, we got a kid to get back to."

The pair continue down the street with passing jokes and comments as usual, laughing all the way - but neither one of them let of the other's arm.