Careless (Cas X Reader)

Chapter 2

The next couple of days, you were careful, not wanting to draw any more suspicion to yourself. You tried to eat normally, interact normally, and even worked hard at the hunts, making sure you were on top of your game. It was exhausting. Never good at pretending, you were doing your best to make sure Sam and Dean, and Cas, didn't notice anything else out of the ordinary.

You would have thought Cas would have given up by now, but the Angel had stayed true to his word, hardly leaving your side, even going so far that he almost followed you into the bathroom when you had announced you needed a shower. You had lost it then, yelling at Cas, but the poor confused Angel didn't totally didn't understand what he had done wrong. Shutting the door in his face, you listened to Dean's laughter at the expense of the poor Angel.

However, you weren't sure how much longer you could keep up the act, it was exhausting you, and dragging you down farther into the pit you called your empty soul. It was so hard to pretend to feel okay, or even anything at all, when all you wanted was to feel nothing.

Today, the four of you had gone out to breakfast, Sam and Dean arguing like usual, while you sat next to Cas. Your breakfast of bacon and eggs were growing cold, but you couldn't eat more than a couple bites. You figured with the way the two were bickering, they wouldn't notice that you hadn't eaten all of your food.

Cas noticed, and soon you felt a hand placed over the top of yours, surprising you. You glanced down, seeing your small hand covered by one much bigger, and rougher. Castiel's deep voice resonated through your head, as he whispered in your ear. "Y/N, is everything okay? You haven't eaten much."

The simple touch broke through your reserve, bringing forward feelings that you had so desperately trying to hide. Blushing, you tilted your head down, hiding behind the cascade of your hair. "Yeah Cas I'm fine, just not that hungry today." You said, hoping he would buy it.

Seconds passed, the only sounds were of Sam and Dean arguing about the newest hunt. Finally, Cas replied, still in a husky, quiet whisper. "I might be an Angel, but I do have feelings Y/N. And I care about you. So if anything is wrong, please let me help you."

You didn't know how much you needed to hear those words, but the moment they passed through his chapped lips, you had to choke back a sob. Taking a deep breath, you tried to regain your composure, knowing that you had screwed up in front of the one person you had cared about most, and showed that you weren't in fact fine.

Cas turned your hand over, intertwining his fingers with yours, then pulled, dragging you out of the booth with him. Sam and Dean stopped their bickering for a moment to glance up, curious as to why the two of you were standing up.

"I'm taking Y/N for a walk." Cas explained, not taking his eyes off of you.

"Fine, but don't take too long. We need to leave for the hunt soon." Dean complained, before you saw Sam elbow him. Dean grunted, and turned to yell at Sam, but Sam gave him a pointed look, and you could see understanding dawn on Dean's face.

"You know what, take your time. That vengeful spirit will be there when you get back."

Knowing you had no choice but to go with Cas, you followed behind him, your hand still grasped tightly in his. Cas didn't slow down, or speak, instead he charged right through the door, and turned left, away from the city, and towards the alley.

When you found your voice, you opened your mouth to speak, but Cas beat you to it. "I want to go somewhere more private. Hold on please."

Curious, you followed his orders, grabbing his shoulders tightly, grateful for the excuse to get close enough to Cas that you could smell the unique essence that was all your Angel. A sort of musk, mixed with the scent of fresh air and clouds, it was inviting, and relaxing.

You were so busy breathing in Castiel's unique scent that you didn't realize that Cas had transported you somewhere else. Reluctantly letting go, you glanced around in awe. You were in a little alcove, completely surrounded by giant pine trees. To the right of you, was a steady flowing waterfall, pouring into a crystal clear pool of water. Moss lined one side of the pond, while the other held a beach full of sparkling sand.

Cas watched you as you took it all in, a smile tugging at the corner of his lip, as he shared one of his most prized secrets.

"Where are we?" You finally asked, still in awe of the beauty of the place.

"Somewhere in the Hawaiian Islands. I accidentally traveled here one time, and now I often find myself seeking this place out in times of trouble. Now sit, and share your troubles with me, it will make you feel better."

Knowing the peace was too good to last, you sat on a rock, taking your shoes off in a last ditch effort to prolong the inevitable. You placed your feet in the cool water, almost moaning at how wonderful it felt. Cas sat next to you, rolling his suit pants up, before following suit and sticking his feet in.

Cas let you sit in silence, knowing that your admission would have to come at your own pace, instead of being forced out.

Feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks, maybe even months, you decide to give in, and give Cas some idea of what you were feeling.

"I feel so alone. I know it's stupid, and I'm not. I have you, Sam and Dean, but I still feel so empty inside." You whispered, wincing at the thought of Castiel's pity once he heard how messed up you really were.