Holding Me Back

Chapter 8

Our refrigerator is usually full of Nicole's accomplishments or events, magnets securing them onto our fridge. This morning though, I see a new flyer that's pink and full of happy rainbows. 

"What is this?" I ask my mom, flyer balled up in my hand. 

"Oh.... You're uh seeing a psychiatrist today and that was the flyer," my mom replies nervously. 

"I'm what? We're you thinking of telling me this? Why?" I shoot back, suddenly enraged.

"We'll, we were," my mom says quietly. 

"We?"

"Um, yea. Your sister and I. We both didn't think you we're getting better, and that this would be good for you," my mom squeaks. 

"Really?" I laugh, "I'm doing fine " I lie and bite my trembling lip, my mom unwittingly shooting me a disapproving glare. 

"Sweetie...." my mom searches for the words.

A glare finds its way onto my face and I keep it there and direct it at my mom. When Nicole comes downstairs, I flicker my eyes between them.

"What's wrong?" a dumbfounded Nicole asks me.

I have no words, so I just chuck the flyer at her and she uncrumples it. Once she reads it, the smile turns into a worried facial expression and she whispers "oh no". Both of them open their mouth every now and then to say something, but they have nothing to say. Still upset, I grab my backpack and my phone and rush out the door, ready to take the bus to school and not going in my mom's car so that she can drive me. No way, not happening. I'm at the door by now, not even double thinking about breakfast.

"Christine," she says sternly, "where do you think you're going?"

"To the bus stop," I reply grimly.

"No, we need to t-" my mom begins sweetly but I cut her off by slamming the door shut and making my way to the bus stop.

God, my mom doesn't get the point. I don't wanna talk about any of this stuff to anyone. What makes her think that if I ain't gonna tell her, that I'm gonna tell some random guy that I just met? The bus comes to a halt at the corner of the street and the two doors swing open. I cringe when I see the horribly messy bus, hoping that this doesn't set my OCD off. After finding a semi-clean seat in the back, I pop in my earbuds and wait for Riley to get on.

"Hey! Look who's taking the bus for once," Riley shrills when she sees me, saving her an empty seat.

"Haha, yeah. Needed to get away from my family," I take out one earbud so that I can hear Riley.

"Why? You have the best family ever!" Riley exclaims.

If only she knew what sort of anxiety they can give me. I shoot Riley a glare and she immediately backs off. I don't need anyone else telling me how messed up I am compared to my family.

"Yeah. Sure," I reply, voice heavy with sarcasm, "My mom is sending me to a psychiatrist today."

"What? Why? You're getting, uh, better?" Riley has trouble trying to find the correct word.

"No need to lie. I'm not. But I don't need to go see a shrink though. Anyways, on the bright side, I didn't have to eat any sort of breakfast."

Riley nods in my direction but doesn't answer me. I feel my stomach growl slightly, but I leave it alone and suck on a mint, hoping that'll soothe my stomach a bit. Once we get to school, I rush to my locker and get my books as fast as possible. Inevitably, the bus was late. When I turn to the side, Nick is leaning against the locker next door, a cocky side grin on his extremely adorable face. Ew, what is happening to me?