Broken Together

Chapter 5

Bucky's POV

    Steve finally came to see me, and the past couple of days have been hard. He knows that I want to change, and he has done nothing less than take care of me and treat me like the person he must have lost 70 years ago. I haven't gotten any of my memories back, with the exception of the one of me falling of the train and landing in the snow. That scene plays through my head, night and day.

    I have been asking Steve to help me from going insane with the thoughts of the one memory, and he has always been able to find something to talk about that gets my mind away from the depressing thoughts. He tries, but I am just too depressed. The only other thought on my mind is related to the girl that I pulled out of the black car. I have asked Steve to update me on her recovery. When I think of her, all feelings of hurt and depression just simmer away.

    "She isn't awake yet. Still in a coma." Steve came in for his regular talk with me and gave me the status on the girl.

    "She's been out for a long time. Do you think she will ever wake up?" I don't really talk much during these times with Steve, but I am concerned for the well being of this poor girl. I kind of wish to know why she was curled up in the back of a HYDRA car.

    "She's been asleep for a little over a week now. I don't think she will ever wake up to be honest." I look down at the floor a little upset.

    "Can I see her?" This took Steve by surprise. I looked into his wide and confused eyes, and made sure he could see the pain and concern in my eyes. "Please." My voice still hasn't regained its sense of emotion, but then again, I guess my entire personality is just hard and cold in general. If what Steve said is the truth, then I have endured 70 years of emotionless, cold, and extremely painful torture. I may not have emotions, but logic says that I should be numb and cold forever, but when I saw that small figure crumbled in the car something inside me felt off. I want to see if the same feeling comes back. I want to feel again.

    "Okay. I'll take you. We can go see her." Steve smiled and made his way towards the cell door. He motioned for me to follow and once out of the cell we walked quickly down the hall to the medical wing. Steve has gone from smile to soldier in the time we reach the end of the hall. "I'm not really supposed to do this but you are my best friend, even if you don't know it. I will make sure you are taken care of and if you can prove yourself to Fury then, eventually,  you can come work with me."

    I nod in understanding and we keep walking. After a little bit we find ourselves in the medical wing and we can hear people yelling. Steve stops and looks at me, I just look back at him and we both take off running towards the commotion.

    "What's going on?" Steve stops a nurse as she runs around the corner.

    "She's gonna kill us all!" The nurse squirms away from his grip on her arm and she takes off down the hall again.

    "Come on Bucky. Don't go all Winter Soldier on me, please. I need your help." I can feel Steve's hand on my shoulder. and I can hear him talking to me, but I feel the Winter Soldier coming out. I feel the chaos around me and my body wants to react to it all as a big threat. All turns into darkness, and my mind blurs out. I hear Steve, and I know he is my mission. I grab his throat with my metal arm, with all I have I fling him across the room. I hear the chaos down the hall and I go towards it. All the negative feelings and torturous memories flood my system. I hear the screams of pain and feel all the machines poking into my skin. I can feel them fusing my arm and my skin together. My soulless body feels empty and all wanting to be kind is terminated.

    I come around the corner and see a giant flame in the hallway. I shield my eyes from the brightness and back away from the heat radiating off. What looks to be a fire in the middle of the hallway quickly extinguishes and shows a small figure standing in its place. I run at the small form and grab her by the throat and she screams immediately. Her eyes look at me and I can register the terror in her eyes at my appearance. She looks familiar, but in my state of numb and solles pain, I can care less who she is.

    "Please! Please let me go! Please!" She screams and begs for her life, but all I want to do is rip the skin off of her body and leave her to bleed.

    "Bucky! STOP!" I keep the girl pinned against the wall with my metal hand and turn to see my mission has come back to fight. "Bucky, please put her down. You don't want to do this."

    I drop the girl and charge at the man in front of me. He backs away but never tries to get out of the way. I pounce at him and take him down with one swift movement. He looks up at me and the same gentle Steve is pleading for me to let him go and remember who I am.

         "Bucky, please stop. Listen to me, you are better than this."

         "I'm not Bucky!!" I smash his head into the floor and position myself for the kill. I see something in the corner of my eye. A small figure is on the floor. That's when I remember the girl and the feeling of sadness I felt when I found her in the car. She is so fragile and terrified. I look at her crumpled body and loosen my grip on the man's throat.

         "I hurt her..." The words were not meant to be audible, but the whisper brought me out of the Winter Soldier's rage. That's when I began to feel and see everything clearer. I can hear the heavy breathing of Steve underneath my weight and after glancing down I realise what happened and who I am again.

          I shake off the thoughts of what I was about to do to Steve and I focus myself in the girl on the ground. I know what I did and I believe I know who she is, slightly. I used to train on her and she would take a pretty bad beating each time, but she never went down easily either.

         I feel a strange emotion as I get up and walk to her body. Squatting down to check for life, I can feel her cold skin and everything shaking. I pick her body up and I move her back to the nearest bed that isn't destroyed. I lay her down and pull up a chair. Steve does the same and places a hand on my shoulder.

         "Steve, I'm so sorry. I should have better control over myself." I feel so numb, but I know that what I did was wrong. I almost killed the only person that has wanted to help me.

         "Hey, it's okay. I forgive you. Even if you had killed me, just know I would have still forgiven you. You aren't used to the sense of freedom yet. It's tough to grasp right now. I don't expect you to be able to control yourself completely or all the time. The fact that you're pushing hard says a lot." Steve has always been the one with good words and a loving heart to any and all who needed to be lifted up. I remember that about him. He was small but had the biggest heart any human can handle. He loves helping people and he loved getting into trouble to do so.

         "I'm just so sorry. Please don't take me back to the cell. I want to wait." Steve nodded and then sat back and we waited for the mystery girl to wake up.