Broken Together

Chapter 18

Cassie's POV

    We leave the training room and go down to the entrance of the building. Bucky ran back to the room to grab a jacket for himself and I wait by the door. I am still too scared to leave the building alone. I've only been out once, so this is still just as exciting.

    I know what Bucky is going to ask, it has been bothering him all day. I don't know how to word what he wants to know. Yes, he hurt me, but no, he had been protecting me...sort of. I don't want him to feel like he did a bad thing. It's all so hard to word, even in my thoughts.

    "You ready?" I jump at the sudden voice behind me. I turn to see Bucky looking at me, his hand on the door, pushing it open. This time I walk out first and Bucky follows closely behind. Once we are a little ways from the doors Bucky speaks up, "Sorry for scaring you. You were really deep in thought."

    "Oh, you're fine. I was just thinking how to word what you want me to tell you. It's hard to say because of how it happened and how to explain without you thinking it was a bad thing." He and I look at each other and the concern in his eyes upset me. I don't want him to feel bad.

    "Just start with what happened," I can hear it in his voice that he is anxious. We continue to walk until we are at the bridge we first saw the day before. We lean against the bridge and Bucky places himself towards me.

    I take a deep breath and proceed to speak. "You came back from a mission and you had done so well that they offered you anything. We had trained before you left and you had mentioned that you wanted me, and they offered you chance to be with me. You remembered that and told them you wanted me, so they gave you  the chance to be with me for a night. You came in and I was scared. You forced me into the wall and I began tearing at my own clothes because I thought that was what you wanted, but you went from hatred to sympathy in a moment. You saw me tearing at my clothes and you saw the fear and the tears and you let me go. You threw me on the bed and slept in a chair on the other end of the room. I passed out on the bed and woke up to you with your fist above my face and another man on the other side of the room watching. You let me be all night and only played a show for the agents. You didn't do anything." I take a deep breath and look at the little river underneath the bridge. I feel relieved to get that off my chest.

    "Wow, I am so sorry." Bucky sounds more frustrated than anything. "How are you standing here talking to me?"
    "Bucky, it's okay. It wasn't you. If I didn't know you like I know you now, then I would stay as far away as possible but I have seen how much you want to change. I see you want to be free from that curse. You want to be Steve's friend again and you want to be the James Barnes that was taken way back then. I want to help you." He turned his body away from me, and I touch his shoulder to reassure him that it is okay. I am not mad at him. "Think about it this way, you were protecting me, even then. You would stop destroying me in practices after that. Your training actually allowed me to fight you at some point. I would attempt to put up a fight and you would try to get me to fight you. I began to fight for real after that night, and you wouldn't destroy me as badly. You were protecting me even then."

    Silence falls over the park and the lights started to fade. Bucky continued to look away and I kept feeling bad for even saying anything. "I am a monster, I know I am. I was one, anyway. I can go back at any point and I don't want to, but it is possible. I can't trust myself to stay good."

    I walk around him and make him look at me. "Bucky, I trust you. Even if you don't, I do. You will always make things right when it needs to be, and I will hang on to you until you get it right. I trust you completely." With that I gathered the courage to force myself on my toes and I kiss the big Winter Soldier right there in the park. Time and reality just cease to exist. We stand in that moment, and I close my eyes. I know that I never want to leave this moment, ever..

    I break the kiss and I open my eyes. I am face to face with Bucky, and I can feel his forehead on mine. The heat of his breath smells so wonderful. He takes a deep breath and leans in for another one. He snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He lifts me up and places me on the ledge of the bridge, never letting go of me.

    I can feel his lips against mine, and his teeth lightly biting at my lower lip. I refuse entrance at first but give in as I feel his metal arm on my lower back. He finds his way in and I can feel his smile pushed against my lips. While he smiles I push his tongue out of my mouth and fight my way into his. I know my body is heating up and it isn't until he breaks that I realise that I could ignite if I wanted to right now, but the necklace is holding it in for me.

    "You are burning up," he whispers.

    "I know," I whisper back. I leaned my forehead on his and we both breathe in heavily. I don't know how to respond after feeling so much at once.

    "Cassie," I hear him whisper again, but I refuse to open my eyes. I don't want this dream to end.

    "Mhm," I reply.

    "I didn't realise how much I wanted that until it happened." I nod my head in agreement and keep breathing heavily. I wrap my arms around him tighter, and he pulls me closer to him. he quickly flips around and I sit there looking at his back for a good minute before I realise what he is offering me. I jump on his back and he takes off running around the park. I hold on and lay my head on his shoulder. He pretends to drop me, and then I jump off and he chases after me. I run back to the building, laughing all the way.

    Bucky comes up to the door and I lock it before he can get in. He puts his fiston the door and pretends to get angry at me. I stand on the inside of the door and mock him happily, then decide to let him in when he gets on his knees and begs to be let in. I unlock it and quickly run up the stairs and he follows close behind me. Just as I get to the room, he catches up to me and just as I open the door, he pulls me in, and we both fall on the floor laughing.

    He lays right on top of me and we both continue to laugh. I kick the door shut with my foot. "Thank you. Now I can do this." He pins me to the ground and kisses me hard. I try to fight him, but I can't resist. It feels so good. I break the kiss and quickly try to get up, but he pushes me back down, gently. He smiles and I feel weak. It just hit me all at once, how amazing he looks right now. We roll on the floor, making out and laughing until we decide we should go to dinner.