Healed by a long distance friendship(but why it feels beyond it?)

when you are single at 40

When you are 40 and single it makes you think, where did i go wrong in my past relationship? is it me? or is this really my destiny?  long distance relationship is very hard to work out, and i realized that i'm done with it, it only brought me pain and it made me appreciate being single, being single is not bad after all , the the downside is if you are horny as what a friend of mine said.  But overall its okay, you don't need someones approval in everything you do, no one to please, no one to restrict you, you can go where ever you go, but it sad when i look at a family that are happy, when you see them in the park playing with their kids, when you see them in a fast food chain happily eating, but what can I do, i can't force it, it will come if it is meant to be but if not then life must goes on.

A new love comes along but it seems that still its the same from before, he always tells me that he loves me but he never initiate a long conversation, never say goodbye, when you are in a middle of your conversation he just vanished in thin air, he is 3 years younger than me and yes he is also from the other side of the world, he is from texas but it seems that what he profess to me is not really real, he keeps saying that he loves me but saying it is not the same as of showing it to me, im just a simple woman, a simple hi or hello is enough for me, but what i love most if he will talk to me, but no he is just like J, i dont know if he is really serious or what, again its the downside of a long distance relationship, but who can blame me if I want someone from the foreign land, man here its either a gay or already married.

Maybe I should stop looking for it, stop making it my goal in life, maybe i should focus myself in other things, Do you think I should give up? afterall im already 40, not anymore a very marketable age. heheeheeh.

but anyways me and J or let us say its me who always still trying to reach out to J sometimes he responded but most of the time he just ignored me, its very hard but i guess i really need to let him go. I should stop reaching out, stop being a pathetic woman, and as for steve the new guy in town will i dont really know what to do with him, maybe i will also just stop everything,  Its hard my dear readers, but i need to stop, but sometimes it is easy to say but hard to do....

Come what may... till next time

12/08/15 4:03pm