Numb...but not

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I feel nothing
Yet everything
I'm dead but
Yet I'm alive
How am I so much at once
I don't understand
I have a burning in my wrist
I wanna cut aging
I wanna bleed
I wanna feel the sweet sweet pain
I wanna feel in control
But...
I'm doing so good
I don't wanna disappoint my heroes
I...
I feel numb but not

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