Do you think he saw my scars? I thought to my self as I turned the water on to shower. It all started when my dad left. I could remember it like it was yesterday. I was 10, it kind of happened by accident. My mom will tell you, I was always a "trouble child". I was the reason my dad left. She never said it but I always knew it. I was crying because he left with his bags and I knew he was leaving, he told me he'd come back and never did. I ran into my closet, my arm had gotten caught on a wire project I was doing at that time. I couldn't help but feel the pain go away. I went deeper, I felt nothing. As the blood started to flow I felt a release. At that moment I was happy. That ten year old died that night. It was freeing. I felt light. I saw the stars, the moon, I saw Him. He showed me everything. I met the angels, most of all I saw family. Mama, Papa. Suddenly I was back in a white room.
"Hello my child. What are you doing here?" He said without judgment.
"My dad left me" I started to cry. "Why would he do that to me? I feel better now
"My child. Do you trust me?'
"Yes Jesus, I do"
"Then know I Love You. I died for you and I will do it again, if it makes you happy. Do you want to stay here with me?"
Right before I could answer him, I saw my body. My mom begged God to send me back. She's prayed, asked forgiveness.
"Mandy come back please! I need you! I love you!" At that moment I couldn't stop crying.
"Jesus"
"Yes my child"
"I hope you forgive me. I'm so sorry!"
At that moment I saw Him bleed from both his arms and upper thighs.
"You see my child, what you do to yourself, you do to me. You are my body. I will always love you and I will never leave you"
At that moment I was back in my body. I died. I was on life support, but I was alive. I was with my mom again and I was alive.
I could never tell Jack. I never told anyone.
