October 13, 2015

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This wasn't right. Nothing about this situation was right. Kyungsoo sat in his car, staring at the hotel. He knew that if he walked into the building, he would see things that his heart couldn't handle. Still, he exited the car and made his way into the building. He already knew what he would see, but he needed to. He needed to know if Luhan was right. He needed to know if all these years had gone to waste. He had no idea how he'd get into the room. He didn't have a key. Sighing, he walked up to the front desk and smiled at the receptionist.

"Hi, I'm here to bring my roommate his house key. He left without it. Is there any way that you could tell me which room Kim Jongin is staying in? I won't be home when he returns. I hate to be a bother, but it's pretty important."

Kyungsoo could see how the woman was eying him and he knew that look anywhere. She was definitely checking him out.

"Normally, we wouldn't allow this, but since it's an emergency..." She trailed off, looking through the computer. A smiled danced across her face. "Aha! Kim Jongin is in room 705. Don't tell anyone that I let you up there. I might lose my job." She winked and nodded her head towards the elevators.

Kyungsoo took a deep breath and stepped onto the brightly lit elevator. He found himself asking the most mundane questions. When was the last time he'd rode an elevator? What color was the towel Jongin used, this morning? Did he remember to eat lunch? There was a ding and the doors opened. Stepping off of the elevator, he looked at the doors. 700...701...702...703...704...705.

He didn't need to knock. He didn't need to open the door. Everything Kyungsoo needed to know could be heard through the door. Vividly, he could hear the sound of Jongin moaning and another man mewling, in pleasure. He knew those sounds anywhere. The sound of skin slapping together was enough to drive him insane. He needed to confront him. He needed to know why. Why wasn't he enough? Why did he let him waste four years of his life if he was just going to run off and fuck someone else in a cheap hotel?

His fist made contact with the door and he banged as hard as he could. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and he knew that he wasn't in his right mind. He should have turned and went the way he came. However, he couldn't just let this go. He needed to see this with his own two eyes. He continued to bang on the door, until it flew open, revealing a shirtless Jongin, looking extremely pissed off. Kyungsoo pushed past him, into the room and looked at the man in bed.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me, Jongin!" He yelled, pointing at the surprised face staring back at him.

"Kyungsoo, I never-"

"Don't you say shit! You were supposed to be my best friend, Baekhyun! Out of all the people, in the world, you chose to sleep with my boyfriend?! If you forgot, you have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who would stop the world, for you, if he could! So, no, don't you dare tell me that you never meant to hurt me or whatever lie you were about to spit out!"

Kyungsoo took a deep breath and looked up at Jongin, who just stared back, seemingly okay with what was going on. "So, you're not going to say anything? Are you not going to apologize? We've been together for almost five years, Jongin! Do I mean nothing to you?" The last part came as a whisper, as his eyes were clouded with tears.

Jongin ran a hand over his face and shrugged. "What do you want me to say, Kyungsoo? I'm bored. You're boring. I'm so over this. It's the same shit just a different day. I don't even remember the last time that we had good sex. Do you? Can you remember the last time that we went on a date? I can't. Are you happy? Can you, honestly, say that you're happy? I just don't feel the same way that I felt about you. I'm sorry that I've hurt you, but I'm not sorry for finding someone else."

Kyungsoo looked between the two people who he thought would never hurt him and he shook his head, pushing Jongin and running back to the elevator. He needed to get out of here. He needed to be away from them. He needed to stop feeling.

The girl at the front desk looked up, as he ran past her and out of the door. Once he made it back to his car, he lost it. He punches the steering wheel and anything else he could reach until his knuckles were red. A slew of curse words flew out of his mouth and he cried until his throat hurt. With shaky fingers, he put the key into the ignition and pulled out of his parking spot. He didn't really know where he was going. He couldn't go home. Not to a place filled with traces of Kim Jongin. He couldn't go to his best friend because he was a part of this.

Chanyeol. He could see Chanyeol. He needed to know about this.

His car pulled up to the familiar apartment building and he parked and made his way to the door. He pressed the correct button and waited to her Chanyeol's deep baritone ring out. "Who is it?" He called out.

"It's Kyungsoo. I need to talk to you. It's...it's important." Kyungsoo's voice cracked, as he heard the door unlock. He pulled it open and jogged up to the second floor. Chanyeol was already standing at the door when he arrived.

"Kyunggie, what's wrong? Have you been crying?" He asked, moving aside, as the smaller walked into the apartment.

"Jongin and Baekhyun are sleeping together. I...Luhan told me that he heard Jongin talking, on his phone, about how he was going to meet up with someone at this hotel and I went and...he was with Baekhyun and fuck, they were..." He couldn't finish. The vision of Baekhyun laying in bed, naked, was enough to send him into another fit.

Chanyeol stared at his friend and it seemed as if all color had drained from his face. He'd been with Baekhyun even longer. They'd been together since they were fifteen and sixteen. They'd even talked about moving away, to get married.

"Why would they do this to us?" Chanyeol's , who's voice was probably the deepest he's heard, seemed small and void of all confidence that it usually exuded.

Kyungsoo shrugged and ran a hand through his red locks. "What do we do?" He questioned, begging his tears not to fall again. "J-Jongin said that he was bored. He said I was boring. Why couldn't he just break it off, instead of cheating on me? He could have told me that he wasn't happy anymore and I would have let him go because I'm so fucking dumb and I love him that much. I would have let him find someone who made him happy. All he had to do was tell me the truth."

Chanyeol stared down at his friend and his heart hurt. Not only for himself but for the broken man in front of him. He'd always thought of Kyungsoo as the strong type. He always had the answers and here he was, questioning everything.

"Kyungsoo, you're better than this. Look, we're not going to cry over them. We're going to hold our heads up and show them that we are hurt, but we aren't broken." Chanyeol spoke confidently, but he didn't even know if he could follow his own advice. He knew that as soon as Kyungsoo left, he was going to cry until his throat was red and sore.

Kyungsoo forced a smile upon his face and nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry that you had to be hurt in all of this too. You really don't deserve this. I'm going to stay at my brother's, tonight. I already texted him. You'll be okay, Hyung?" Chanyeol nodded and smiled back

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Drive safe, alright?" Kyungsoo waved him off, as he opened the door and stepped out. He pulled the door closed and leaned against it. He needed a moment to collect himself. Five years ago, he would have never seen this coming. Looking back, he started to realize that the signs were right in front of his face. Looking back, he'd been blinded by love. Now, his vision was as clear as day.

If only he'd known.


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