Childhood Crushes

Chapter Thirtythree - Which Napkin? White, White, Or White?

Ashley

Three napkins sat in front of me on the table; each one looked the same to me, but the woman at the store told me they were so different. I had already bitten my nails down to the nub, and now I’d have stubby little nails when I get married. I was so nervous I’d pick the wrong one and everyone who goes to the wedding will say ‘Ashley’s wedding was so trashy; she picked the ivory napkins, not the eggshell napkins!’.

It may have been silly to be thinking this, but it wasn’t to me. I had to pick the perfect napkin...

“Harry, can you help me with something?” I asked when I saw him walking through the dining room into the kitchen.

“Can’t, baby, I’m sorry. I have to go to work.” He said.

I frowned down at the napkins. Harry hasn’t helped with any of this. I’ve been making all the decisions lately... “Harry, do you think we’re rushing things?” I finally spoke what I had been thinking all this time. Having the ring on my finger in High School was so fun. The feeling of belonging to someone, being a grown up. A few other girls did it, I watched them when they were seniors and I was a junior. They never complained; so why am I?

Seconds later, Harry was walking in the dining room with his thermos of hot coffee and wearing his gray suit. “No, why?” He asked.

I closed my mouth and shook my head; maybe I’m just being silly. “Nothing... Which napkin do you like best?” I asked, changing the subject.

“They all look the same.” He frowned.

“I know... I guess this one?” I pointed to the middle one. It nearly matched the creamy white my dress was, and was satin, close to silk.

“Sounds good.” He kissed my cheek and swept out the front door, leaving me alone with the napkins.

...Maybe I should pick this one instead. Is it tacky for the napkins to match your dress? Oh my God, what if they think my dress is made of napkins? And the satin; what if it slides off their laps while they’re drinking wine, and it stains their clothes? I ran my hands through my hair, totally lost, totally freaking out...

I jumped about a foot in the air when my phone rang next to me. “Hello?” I answered, sounding a bit agitated, hoping to God it was Harry and he had a suggestion for the napkins.

“Ash, you okay?” It was Annabelle.

“Annabelle, would you please save me?! I don’t know which napkin to pick, and I don’t want wine on my guests laps, and I don’t want them to think my dress is tacky and made of napkins ---- what do I do?!” I blurted frantically. I may not have my sister here, but Annabelle was the best thing I had.

“Uh, Ash, you just have to calm down, okay?” She said after a minute. “Why don’t you ask one of your other brides maids; aren’t they doing all this with you?”

“They all have little ones to take care of right now...” It was in that moment I realized they were all the women that were engaged in their senior year. In the time they graduated, they were already 8 months pregnant and ready to pop. Some of them are pregnant again, and I had to order maternity gowns.

“Whoa, kinda young to have kids, aren’t they?” She asked.

“Yeah... They all got married in their senior year. At least I graduated, right?” I tried to put some sort of hope in that sentence. It wasn’t working too well for me, and it wasn’t working for Annabelle too, I could hear.

“Ash, did you ask Harry?” She said.

“Ask Harry what?”

“You know what I mean...”