Childhood Crushes

Chapter Six - Panic Attacks Just Feel Like A Fat Guy Is Sitting On Your Chest

Chapter Six - Panic Attacks Just Feel Like A Fat Guy Is Sitting On Your Chest

Bale and I were riding horses today; it was the weekend. Of course, I was happy it was the weekend since I didn’t have to deal with Ashley, but I also hoped it was Monday...just so I could see Harry.
Bale had to snap his fingers to get my attention twice now. He knew exactly who I was thinking about...
“Would you just drop it, Beaver?” He sighed. I glared at him over my shoulder - my horse kept walking away from him. Was she having issues with her horse friend Bale was riding too? “Drop what?” I asked. My voice didn’t say ‘oh, tell me, tell me, tell me!’ instead, it said ‘shut up, shut up, shut up’.
“Harry! He’s just a butt-head, trust me. When I first started going to school, he shoved me in the lockers twice! Twice!...Don’t look at me like that, you weren’t there.” He shot back to my rolling-of-the-eyes. I shook my head and tried to focus on just riding my horse. There’s nothing more relaxing than riding a horse. To me, at least.
I sighed and looked up at the sunny sky, letting the sunlight kiss my face. Momma always told me I would get freckles if I didn’t wear sunblock, but I never do. To me, it’s just a waste of time. I’d rather wear a cowgirl hat instead.
Bale rode up next to me and poked my cheek, “Hey!” I snapped my head over to look at him, “What was that for?”
“For ignoring me.” He grinned. I smiled too and rode a little closer to him. The horses walked at a steady speed, staying close to each other. That awkward feeling I got whenever I was standing next to Bale was gone - now I only had...butterflies. I wondered why, I mean, I already ate lunch, so I couldn’t have been hungry. And I wasn’t sick.
I looked at Bale to see if maybe he was feeling like this too; maybe it was just the sun. He looked normal, but his face looked a little flushed. “You wanna go inside now? It’s getting warm out.” I asked.
He nodded in response and helped me get the horses to the stables. After that, we walked inside, talking about our plans for the weekend. Once we got inside, I fixed us some lemon-aid and cookies I had baked with Billy last night. See! He’s just like my replacement-momma.
We ate in silence before I asked, “Are you going to that spring dance next weekend?”
Bale shook his head, “No way.” He leaned in a little closer, his cheeks getting red. Was it too hot in here? “...Are you?”
“I was thinking...”
“Yes?” He looked happier - was he feeling okay?
“Do you think...I should ask Harry to go with me?”
He frowned before leaning back in his seat and taking an angry bite out of his cookie. “Yeah, sure.”
“Well, do you think it’s weird for the girl to ask? Daddy always told the boys that’s their job, and not to make the girls hafta ask.”
Bale shook his head, “Just do it...”
I smiled to myself and took a happy nibble from my cookie - Watch out Ashley.


"Annabelle Sage, are you almost done?" Daddy called up for the tenth time. He sounded like he was getting tired of waiting on me. "Come on now, you're gonna be late, and so am I." I heard his voice coming closer up the stairs. I was nervous about what he'd say when he opened my door - would he ask why I looked the way I did? I bit my lip and waited for him to come inside...
"I thought this was only supposed to start when you get a boyfriend-..." He cut off when he looked at me, his jaw dropping to the floor. His eyes looked me over, looking at my choice of clothing. My white skirt that used to be ripped jeans, the light yellow shirt that ruffled along the top. I had never worn these clothes, even though my mom sent them to me months ago. She's always trying to get me to wear these things.
But how the crap am I supposed to ride a horse in a skirt?!
"What's the occasion?" He finally asked. I shrugged my shoulders, "Nothing. I just always wear jeans and t-shirts." He could hear the lying in my voice.
"Come on, Silly Belly. Tell me the truth." He sat down on the edge of my bed and looked at me with his big blue eyes; they always seemed to drag the truth out of me. He says I got those eyes too - I don't see it.
"Fine..." I sighed. "There's this boy..."
"Oh sweet Jesus..." He rubbed his eyes, muttering under his breath. "Where's the instructions for this thing?" He asked, poking my stomach. I laughed, but went back to seriousness very quickly. "You like him?" Daddy asked.
I nodded.
"Well," He sighed. "All I'm gonna say is, Annabelle, if he doesn't like you for you, he's not the boy you want. If you have to change the way you dress for him to like you better, that's not right." Daddy shook his head as he spoke. I knew he was right but...you can never be too careful. I nodded and said, "You're right, Daddy."
"I think you should put your jeans on, and keep the shirt. It looks cute." He smiled before leaving, letting me change. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought 'Maybe this is too much' and put on my jeans.



As if Bale knew what I had done this morning, he sighed with relief when he saw my dirty, ripped, jeans. "Thank God, she looks normal. It's alright, guys! She's not goin' in!" Bale said loudly, holding his arms up to Michael and Billy B.
My cheeks flared up the second he looked back to me with a smile, "So you're not asking him out? That's great. I was really worried for a minute-"
"What makes you think I'm not going to?" I asked.
His smile fell, "...Aren't you going to give up? Listen, Annabelle, you're not his type-"
"So I'm not good enough for him?" I waited for his answer with my arms folded, "That's not very nice, Bale."
"No, Beaver, I didn't mean it like that. You know that." He tried. He kept stuttering and tumbling over his words, I just rolled my eyes and walked to my locker. He, of course, followed me, but he kept his mouth shut.
He only shot me sorry looks. He opened his mouth to say something a few times, but closed it again and blushed brightly. "What?!" I snapped.
"Nothing, nothing." He shook his head and walked away.
While I watched him, I noticed someone walking through the school doors; it was Harry. I turned back into my locker and hid my face. No, I wasn't ready! Maybe I shouldn't do this. What if Bale was right, what if I'm not good enough to ask him out? What if I'm not good enough to even talk to him...what if Ashley saw us.
That sent a whole new wave of panic through me, causing me to breathe oddly. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath and a fat guy was sitting on my chest.
"Hey, Harry!" A boy behind me said. "Have you met Annabelle Sage? She punched your girlfriend in the face!" I felt someone force me to turn around and run away. I barely got a look at this boy before Harry started chuckling, "So it was you, huh?"
I gulped and nodded my head. He smiled and put his hands in his pockets, "Honestly, she's not my girlfriend. She's just a girl who likes me." He shrugged, "I have to admit, she can get annoying."
I nodded again; the only thing I knew how to do. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for something else.
"...So...?" He urged.
"Are you going to the spring dance?" I found the words tumbling out of my mouth, barely computing to me. I was shocked when he smiled and said, "Maybe. You?". How did he know what I said - I don't even know what I said!
"Um, maybe. You uh...do you want to go-"
"Ey! Back off my friend." Billy B. came thundering over, red faced and all. Why did he look so furious?
Harry held his arms out in front of him, "I wasn't doing anything. I was just asking Annabelle here if she wanted to hang out this weekend...?" He looked to me with a smile and a wink. I was breathless; did he just ask me out? No, he said hang out. 'Hang out', not 'go out'.
I nodded quickly, but Billy B. rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, "Whatever, Lyttle."
When we were out of earshot, I ripped my arm out of Billy B.'s grip and was about to start yelling at him for ruining the most perfect moment of my life before he started yelling at me, "What were you doing?!" He demanded.
"I was going to ask Harry to the dance before you ruined it!" I rubbed the red spots, shaped like his fingers, on my bruising arm.
"No! Annabelle, cut it out! He's a jerk, we told you!"
"You're just jealous cause you don't have girls falling over you every second of the day!" I snapped back. Billy B. looked hurt for a moment before frowning again, "Fine, I'm not helping you anymore." And with that he walked away.
I didn't bother with apologizing; he'd get over it before he knew it.

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So guys, what do you think about this chapter? She was kinda harsh to Billy B. Poor Billy! Poor Bale too, she won't listen. But what if Harry isn't that bad? What do you think about Harry? Is Bale and Billy right or do they just want her to stay away from Harry for other reasons...

Also, I have a little contest going on...

Annabelle has her very own horse. If you can guess her name, you get two chapters dedicated to you and I'll interview you!

Also...who wants to interview me? ;)

I can put it in mine, but you write it. Thanks for reading!