CAPS - An SVU parody fic

Part Four

I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS, LOL. HERE'S PART 4 FOR THOSE OF YOU STILL READING THIS FOOLISHNESS.

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ELLIOT HAD A LOT OF THINKING TO DO. IF HE WENT FOR THE GIANTS BUT THE JETS WON THE SUPERBOWL, HE WOULD BE FOREVER EMBARRASSED.

HE GOT UP AND TOOK A LOOK IN THE MIRROR; HE DIDN'T LIKE WHAT HE SAW, KATHY HADN'T DONE MUCH OF A JOB AT CLEANING AND THE MIRROR WAS COVERED IN SPOTS.

"SOMETHING'S GOTTA CHANGE!" HE SAID, FEELING THE DIRT BETWEEN HIS FINGERS.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" KATHY SAID, COMING OUT OF THE SHADOWS WITH ELI, CAUSING ELLIOT TO JUMP.

"I WAS JUST...NOTHING, I WAS DOING NOTHING! HEY ELI." HE SAID, TRYING TO MAKE SMALL TALK AND NOTICING HOW KATHY'S PALE, WHITE SKIN CONTRASTED WITH ELI'S DEEP, BROWN COLOR.

"YOU BETTER NOT BE THINKING ABOUT THAT BITCH!" KATHY TOLD HIM ON NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.

"I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THE DOG, KATHY!"

"GOOD! OH AND SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THE VET" SHE SAID, A LONG DRAG OF HER CIGARETTE FOLLOWING.

"SO TAKE HER, I GOTTA GO TO WORK!"

"AND KEEP AWAY FROM OLIVIA!" ELLIOT LET OUT A SORROWFUL BREATH AS HE HUNG HIS HEAD.

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THE PRECINCT

I WAS SITTING AT MY DESK, TALKING TO MY BABY; WELL MINE AND EL'S. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT I'M ALREADY 5 MONTHS ALONG. IT'S GETTING HARD TO HIDE THIS PREGNANCY AND I NEED TO TELL CRAGEN, THEN TELL THE GUYS. I'LL BE SO GLAD WHEN ELLIOT GETS HERE AND WE CAN DO JUST THAT.

TO THINK, YESTERDAY I HAD NOTHING BUT AN ACHING WANT FOR ELLIOT AND NOW HERE I AM FIVE MONTHS FULL OF HIS LOVE! IT'S FUNNY WHERE LIFE CAN TAKE YOU.

"OLIVIA, I NEED TO SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE" CRAGEN YELLED FROM ACROSS THE ROOM.

SHIT! I THOUGHT TO MYSELF.

"SHIT, WHAT?" FIN ASKED.

"HUH?"

"YOU SAID SHIT! I WAS ASKIN, SHIT WHAT?"

SO I THOUGHT I THOUGHT IT TO MYSELF BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG!

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"OLIVIA!" CRAGEN CALLED AGAIN.

"I UM...I'LL TELL YOU LATER!" I SAID, THEN GOT UP FROM MY DESK WITH MY BACK TURNED TO FIN AND GRABBED MY COAT. "CHILLY IN HERE!" I SAID, ZIPPING IT UP ON MY WAY TO CRAGEN.

"CLOSE THE DOOR" HE SAID AS I CAME IN. I DID, AND STOOD THERE AT THE DOOR.

"NOW WHAT?" I SAID. HE LOOKED UP FROM HIS PAPERWORK AND SAID:

"NOTHING. I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE...YOU CAN GO NOW."

I LOVE CAPTAIN, BUT HE CAN BE SO STRANGE SOMETIMES I THOUGHT AS I WENT BACK TO MY DESK. WHEW, BEING 7 MONTHS PREGNANT WAS TOUGH; AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, WASN'T SHE JUST 5 MONTHS PREGNANT? THE ANSWER IS YES, I WAS BUT NOW I'M SEVEN, BABIES GROW YA KNOW?!

SO ANYWAY, THERE I AM WITH MY SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT BELLY WHEN SUDDENLY ELLIOT COMES IN. HE'S LOOKING LIKE A GREEK GOD ALL OILED UP WITH HIS MUSCLES RIPPLING, A PAIR OF SUSPENDERS WITH HIS SKIN TIGHT JEANS THAT HE WORE WITH NO SHIRT. I. WAS. ABSOLUTELY. DROOLING.

"ELLIOT, YOU LOOK..." I STARTED, BUT HE QUICKLY PUT HIS FINGERS TO MY LIPS AND SILENCED ME.

"I KNOW" HE SAID AND KISSED ME THEN PULLED ME TO THE SIDE. "SO LISTEN, IF KATHY COMES AROUND, YOU GOTTA HIDE. SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE BABY AND SHE'S NOT HAPPY, IN FACT, I'VE BEEN ORDERED TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU. BUT YOU LOOK GOOD!" HE SAID, RUBBING MY BELLY.

"WHAT?"

"I SAID YOU LOOK GOOD"

"NOT THAT, I MEAN THE PART ABOUT KATHY!"

"OH, THAT SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE BABY AND ORDERED ME TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU? YEAH, SHE'S A BITCH THAT WAY. YOU WANNA GO HAVE SEX IN THE CRIBS?"

"I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK!" I SAID!

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WILL KATHY CATCH OUR LOVERS? WILL ELLIOT FIND OUT THAT ELI ISN'T IN FACT HIS? WILL CRAGEN FIND OUT THE TRUTH?