Dear Diary: My Last 100 Days

Day 63

Dear Diary,
Today we had no school as it was a teachers only day. That was a good thing too.

Because just when I finally start to feel happy again something always happens to remind me that it's there. And it's not going anywhere without taking me.

This time it was worse... I was use to the bad stomach aches, the coughing and the spewing. But what happen today was a first.

I woke up with the need to empty my stomach. Holding my hand to my mouth I rushed to the bathroom in a coughing fit. Everything ran up my throat as I emptied it all into the toilet bowl. My eyes were squeezed shut from the pain...

After I had finished I laid back and bit and opened my eyes. All I saw was red.

One of the worse signs in my stage was blood. And there was a whole lot of it in front of me.

I cried as I stared at the bowl. I was shaking so hard and my head felt so light headed, I thought that I would drop any moment.

I basically crawled to my moms room too weak to stand.

There was blood on my hands from coughing into it. There blood on my white pj top from the back sprays of letting it go in the bowl.

I shook my mom awake crying at her, too scared to do anything else. One look at me and she cries as well before she pulled me down the stairs and out of the door into her car.

I spent that night in the hospital going through checks.

I also spent that night not able to sleep as I kept coughing up blood.

All I could see. All I could think about was blood...

Love,
Annabel