Lost In Living

My Theories

So I guess I should start from the beginning ,when it all started .
When I was a kid a had a strange thing called hope , from what I can tell now there is very little of that in the world .
I used to believe I could do anything , be anything .
I cant exactly pinpoint when I lost all that , but I can remember what thoughts sparked it .
What could I contribute to this world that was filled with billions of other people who had hope and believed that they were special too .
I was always average , sometimes below average but never low enough .
I was never on any scale or radar , I was just simply here .
No purpose , just here .
No duty to fulfil nothing to make me be any different .
That's when my thoughts got more complicated .
What really is different , what really is being average .
I mean people have talents right?
But there is always going to be someone better at whatever it is you can do .
I used to think that was all there was to life .
That was until I met him .
*****
Walking through the cold , hormonal teenage ridden hallways ,which had the same old smell and the same old people it could almost send a person into a coma .
I mean lets face it high school seems Important now but I bet in a few years half of these people won't even remember the names of people they now consider their good friends .
I mean that's why I don't bother to learn the names or 'statuses ' of these people because I know in my heart and sole that I will try my level best to forget about everything that has ever happened in this place and in this town .
As a matter of fact I will be quite happy to .
By the way with all my stupid , pointless ranting I haven't mentioned my name , it's Nova , Nova Carter .
I guess you might think I'm some depressed teenager that might be just a little crazy but , let me ask you something and be honest .
If some one was able to hear your thoughts on a daily basis , they would think you were just a little bit crazy to .
I somehow managed to drag my feet in the direction of my first class , which to be honest wasn't that bad it was only biology which I didn't really mind because I wanted to be a bio - medical scientist .
Now some people might say 'oh that's so great she wants to make a difference and help people ' . While I idolise people who work for that reason it is not why I chose this .
I just wanted a job that could get me out of this so called town I have to call my home . I wanted to get through life with minimal worries , because God knows I don't need anymore .
And if you guess that I get straight As and am a top student you would be guessing wrong . If I studied really hard sure I could probably get an A or a B but I don't have time to do that let alone do my homework as well . I have a lot of responsibilities for an eighteen year old .
But I settle for C's which I'm fine with because sometimes I feel like C's reflect who I am , a C isn't a fail but it's not a great pass its just a C and nothing more .
Student are already swamped with homework and adding a shit load of study to that already building pile of Essay due for Monday is definitely a stress reliever.
Considering that you only remember about half of those things on Sunday night at 4 am .
I do have one very close friend her name is lily , she is kind but has a temper and we clicked when we first met , she never judged me and I really liked that about her . But she was a hypochondriac and she again believed she was to sick to be in school so here I am . 
The bell that signified that I was allowed to leave this cursed building had just rang and I had jumped out of there quicker that Larry , whoever Larry is .
You see once I get home I don't really get to go take a nap or even do my beautiful homework (sarcasm dually noted) I have to go pick up my little brother and sister from the lovely lady across the street Mrs Mack .
She is the most caring person I have ever met , when I was left with them I didn't know what to do or if I had to drop out of school .
But Mrs Mack was always there and she promised me she would look after Cole and Evie no matter what and she kept that promise because when I had to go to school she would take Evie and bring her to kinder garden while I dropped Cole to school ,she would collect him for me and then she keeps them until I come home .
She would always feed them and make sure they were happy and was always offering us to come over for dinner . I was so grateful for her because I wouldn't be finishing school without her .
I walked up to the dark wooden doors and walked in , she had scolded me for knocking before ' family doesn't knock ' was her excuse .
I was greeted by two heads of blond and black hair running up to me screaming "Nooooooov "They called me 'nov 'because they thought Nova was to long . I tried to explain it was actually a short name but to no avail. 
              It wasn't my favourite nickname but it was theirs so I played Along .
Hey guys how was school .
Cole was the first to pipe up " it was so good, Nov ,I had the best day apart from Ciara and Megan trying to kiss my face , I had to run away so fast before I got their germs ". He scrunched up his face in disgust . I tried not to but a little laugh left my lips .
Cole was going to be a heart breaker when he was old enough. every day he had some new girl trying to get his attention , he and my sister got the good genes .
Cole had jet black hair blue eyes and sallow skin .
Evie had pale soft skin ,chocolate brown eyes that could get away with murder and blond silky hair that frankly I was jealous of .
The reason they were so different is that the had two different mothers Cole and I had the same mother but Evie's mom is a mystery we don't know who she is but she didn't want her , so she gave her to my dad and when he left she was mine I guess . But I love them Both so much and I would never change my life if I couldn't have them .
Evie's big brown eyes looked up to me " can I pweeeaasse have cereal when we go home "
" it's the evening , do you not want dinner "
"I pwomise I will eat dinner , but I really want cereal "
I guess she could have a little ,but we had no milk .
"Hey Mrs Mack " I called out .
I saw her grey curls come into the hallway . She gave me her loving smile which gave her small wrinkles and the sides if her eyes .
" hello sweetie how was your day "
" it was good , thanks , hey Mrs Mack could you watch the kids for another ten minutes I just have to run to the store and get milk " .
"No problem sweetie take your time
I smiled and nodded " I will be back in ten minutes guys , I'll be quick "
They were no longer paying attention and had gone about doing there own things .
Cole was only seven and Evie was only five , I didn't know what I was going to do about college but I don't really want to think about that until I had to .
As I was walking home I heard a loud car engine then saw an amazing sleek black car rush past me only to see it pull up into the house that had been for sale next to mine .
      This could be my new neighbours I guess I would meet them soon enough .
          I thanked Mrs Mack for looking after the kids then headed home with them .
I didn't want to use Mrs Mack more than I already was by making her cook us dinner even though she almost forces is to stay everyday but I refuse .
     I gave Evie her cereal as a started to cook spaghetti . I was a pretty bad cook but I tried my best for the guys and they usually didn't complain .
       We all had school tomorrow so they got into their p.j's and I tucked them in and then went to the desk in my room and began the dreaded task of my home work .
    As you may be thinking about my situation with the kids 'this isn't legal' . Well it wasn't but I turned eighteen a few months ago so it is now but before that it wasn't but I made sure know one knew and the two people that did were Lily and Mrs Mack whom I trusted with anything .
                   It was eleven p.m and I was just finishing up my assignments . I was about  to crawl into bed when I noticed my window was slightly opened I walked over because I was only in shorts and a white tank top I knew I was going to get cold . Just as I was about to clothes my curtains the lights turned on in my neighbours room .
                   Just great they are in the room facing mine .
         I walked away completely forgetting about the curtains due to my lack of sleep .
                                 I was woken up by the sound of little footsteps in my room Evie and Cole were now at the bottom of my bed and they had started to pinch  my legs to wake me up .
      "Okay okay I'm up "
    " we need foooooood " they said at the same time .
      "Alright come on , what's it gonna be today "
                        "Lucky charms !!" Cole shouted
        I shook my head " no guys it's a school day , you know what the choices are . "
They both slouched in defeat
            "Fine we want corn flakes "
"Now that's what I'm talking about , a great way to start you day with extra fibre am I right or am I right ?"
      I held up my hand waiting for a high five but they both just gave my a flat look and went to go get their bowls .
      "And you guys say I'm not a morning person "
               I got them dressed and we headed out the door . I had just locked it and turned around only to hear the same sound of a door closing coming from my neighbours house .
      As I looked over I my eyes met what had to be one of the best looking people I had ever seen .
      He had dark brown hair , tanned skin  like he was from Italy or Spain , he was tall and had broad shoulders . He was wearing and black shirt , black pants and black boots  he had aviators on and what I was not expecting was to see a little girl around Coles age with similar features to him holding onto his hand as they walked out .
                 He shot me a smirk and I quickly turned away realising that I had been full on staring at him .
       Only then did I notice that Evie had made her way over to the both of them and was now saying something to the man .
             I quickly ran over " Eve , babe what did I tell you about running away and not telling me "
           she looked up at me "I'm sowey Nov , I won't do it again"
              She grabbed my hand " it's okay babe " I smiled down at her
       I haven't noticed that the mystery man and little girl had been looking at up with a confused expression.
        I awkwardly waved it there direction " hi "
      Before either one of them could respond Evie piped up " Nov , I was just telling the man that you thought he was pretty and that , he should probably marry  you now "
            I felt my cheeks start to go red and I looked down hoping he didn't notice .
     I heard the most sexiest laugh and I looked up to see him smiling at me , he then faced Evie as she gave him a huge grin .
             " oh so she thinks I'm pretty huh ? " he said with a smirk on his face .
             Evie nodded enthusiastically and before she could do anymore damaged I picked her up .
    " your going to be late if you don't stop harassing our new neighbours" I said to her with a smile.
         She waved to the two of them and I mumbled a "goodbye " and I smiled at the little girl who happened to be looking at Cole who was looking at the mystery man who was looking at me .
       I turned around to walk but before I could the man leaned closer to me and put his hand up to his face like he was pretending to tell Evie something
" can you keep a secret " Evie nodded with a big smile
  " I think she's pretty too "
    Before I could say anything he was walking away with the little girl and they drove off in the car but not before I got to see that cocky smirk once more .
                           After I dropped off Cole to school I headed to my own educational building and parked my jeep .
It wasn't amazing it was a dark blue jeep with a bit of rust , but it worked and that's what matters .
                      I walked to my locker only to be be greeted by my best friend Lily
         " Nova , I seriously thought I was dying yesterday but it turns out it was just a bruise on my leg it wasn't the deathly virus I thought it was "
I smiled at her " I'm glad your not dead Lil "
            " Oh my god did you hear about the new guy every body has been talking about him all morning , apparently  he's 'God like' "
           " people here are just bored he's probably just a normal kid "
       " well I guess we will find out sooner our later he should be in some of our classes "
      I nodded along with what she was saying as we walked to class .
        "So do you think he's dead "
  I looked at Lil " who ?"
       " you never listen to me , my fish do you think he's dead he's been floating around for a few days but not at the top so I'm not sure what do you think "
               " Lil considering most of the mystery Gang are dead it probably is , who is it this time "
     " I think it's Velma ,she's probably lonely  ever since Freddy died and I think Scooby's on his way out to "
               " God remind me to never let you mind my animals if I ever get any "
        " don't worry I will " she said with an evil grin .
I let out a laugh at her . She was weird but she was my kind of weird .
       Suddenly we came to a stop in the hall there was a lot of whispering going on and all I could see was the heads of students crowding around .
       My class was right in front of theses people so I had to squish my way through them .
         It was then I found the source of all the commotion . Damn my neighbour and his godlike jawline