These Stories Are Lies

seven

After about two hours of sleep I wake up because the sun is shining through the window directly into my face.
Because I don't want to go to sleep again I get up and make a big cup of coffee and some toast.
I do my homework, but this just takes some hours, so I still have nearly the whole Saturday I can look forward to - with no idea what to do.

The only thing I can think of his going over to Nico again, but I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't appreciate this.
On the other hand - somehow I have to proof him that he isn't alone.
He seems so sad and so broken, and I really want him to know that I could help him.

He said I shouldn't be sorry for being honest - so probably I should just do exactly this.
But the last time I decided to do something like this didn't end very well. I mean, I got to know him better, but was it really worth it?
But since I don't have a better idea anyways, and I really want to see him, I decide to get into my car.

'Oh, you again.'
Nico opens the door for me.
I can't tell if he's angry, but he lets me in, I guess that means he doesn't hate me completely.

'Are you doing something, I really don't want to be annoying.'
'You must really hate your home if you always want to hang out here.'
'I just wanted to talk to you.'
'Again? Bloody brilliant idea.'
'I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have just come over-'
'Like you just did again?'
'Uhm, yes.'

He leads me in his room again, wich is dark again, this time because his curtains are closed.
'Why is your room always so dark?'

I instantly regret the question, he's probably just starting to talk about all these sad things again.
His answer surprises me, even it makes a lot of sense;
'I'm to lazy to tidy my room. So are you just here for my up cheering company, or also for something else?'

'Kind of. I mean, uhm yes, actually.'
'If you are going to start with this 'you are not alone shit' again I'm going to kill you.'
I don't say a word.
'Seriously?'
'You said I should be honest!'
'I said you shouldn't be sorry for it, that doesn't mean you can't just shut up!'
'Okay.'
'Really?'
'Yes.'

I kiss him.
I don't even know what I'm thinking, it doesn't matter anyway, because they are thousands of fireworks exploding in my head.
After a while Nico starts to kiss back.
It's like a million things, like everything at once, but still there's nothing than him and me.

Then he's pushing me away from him.

Nico looks so shocked.
'I'm sorry.'
I say.
'No, don't be, just - you should go now.'
'I didn't meant to do something wrong-'
'You didn't. I'm just - you shouldn't hang out with me or - I'm not the kind of person anyone should get to close to. You should go now. Thanks for coming over.'