Not Natural Show

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Being on a four hour long flight between a stinky man who has nothing better to do other than hit on attractive teenagers and a kid who would sing Frozen songs every minute of the flight can really put your life into perspective. Or it can seriously make you contemplate making a break for it by finding a way to jump out of the airplane.

An unpleasant flight makes for an unpleasant headache. So it was safe to say I was in a horrendous mood getting off that damn plane that didn't even have the common fucking courtesy of having a first class.

I got off the plane, purse on my shoulder, and strutted through the terminal to find my failure of an Uncle.

"Lydi, is that you?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and saw my Uncle Crispin with curly black hair and light blue eyes. I was immediately seeing the resemblance since my blond locks were naturally black and my eyes were the exact same shade of blue as his.

"I'm guessing your the infamous Uncle Crissy?" I asked raising an eyebrow at the Uncle I had heard so many unfortunate stories about.

"Dude, did your pops tell you to call me that?! I haven't gone by that since we were kids. Just call me Uncle Cris, nice to finally meet you, love." He said, letting his long watered down British accent come out slightly. He then pulled me in for a loving hug before giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I gave him a small glare. "Pleasure, Uncle Crissy. Can we just go get my bags, man?" I said not giving him an ounce of respect.

His carefree smile slightly lessened and he nodded. "Sure, Lydi. I'm sure you're exhausted from that flight." He said cheerfully.

I rolled my eyes and walked away leaving him behind as I strutted in the direction of baggage claim.

As we walked through the airport, he told me about the high school I'd be going to, the big lake, and from then on out I was simply ignoring the unbearable sunny disposition of the man.

We waited a seemingly infinite amount of time to get my bags from the baggage claim then, made our way to the car for a long ride to Bumpkinville, Oklahoma. Better known as Broken Bow.

Uncle Crissy was playing ACDC, Kansas, Boston, and Metallica the entire ride, as if he was from that show that was all about the Not Natural. I eventually was beginning to fall asleep before he started talking to me.

"So, Lydi, what activities were you in at your old school?" He asked.

"I'm head cheerleader, an amazing soccer player, prom queen, and a soprano in choir." I said not hesitating to begin boasting about my many accomplishments in the fields that I did.

"Well, I feel like you'll have a good time at Broken Bow High School. We have one of the best choirs in the state, and we have some amazing cheerleaders and a dance team too! Don't even get me started on the band though! Sadly we don't have a soccer team though, never was very interested in the sport myself, but damn do we have a golf team!" He said proudly.

I had to admire how much pride he had in the school and town. Why? I have no idea. Los Angeles still sounds way better than Broken Bow where camo is not a fashion atrocity, but rather a normality. EW... Then there was the fact that there was a fucking golf team and not a soccer team. Damn, I knew it was hick but no soccer team! What the shit!?!

As he went on and on about the positives of living in McCurtain County, I finally was able to tune him out (with some help from Beats headphones and Adele) and fall asleep.

I was gently shaken awake four hours later. I groggily opened my eyes and looked at the house I'd be living in for the foreseeable future. I was expecting something close to a shack and barn hybrid with banjos and a weird incest family secretly living in the back. What I got was a surprisingly decent house. It wasn't too big, like I would have preferred, nor was it too small, like I would have hated.

I was pleasantly surprised, but my heart slightly dropped. Being here at the place I'd call home made this whole travesty all the more real.

"Welcome to my humble adobe! Me casa is your casa!" He said butchering both phrases, resulting in a sigh and face palm from yours truly.

He unlocked the door to the house, and as I walked I immediately noticed the odd furniture. It had a look of Straight Outta Stoner 70's. It took a moment to take in the bright colors and the slight smell of what I assumed was weed.

"Dad was right, you are weird." I said. I looked at the couch and saw a teenage boy sleeping there. He was obviously Native American had slightly spiky black hair
in an emo hair style and even snake bites.

"Um, Uncle? Why do you have a My Chemical fucking Romance video extra sleeping on your couch?" I asked.

"Oh that's just Jasper." He said shrugging it off.

"And who and why is he in your house. I know you don't have kids, God forbid." I prodded.

"He lives right next door. He's got a sorta tough life at home, so I let him chill here whenever he wants. That's all I'll say on that. Don't you want to go see your new room?" He said changing the subject.

"Oh I'm just fucktabulously excited. Let's get on with this." I grumbled.

He left the living room and led me through the house, occasionally stopping to point out the kitchen and two bathrooms, before stopping at my room.

"It's so fuckin' plain. White walls, white everything, white everywhere. The fuck is this, The Sou- Well shit. Couldn't use the analogy if I wanted to..." I muttered.

"Well, um, I'm gonna go hit the hay. I'm super tired. Just wake me up if you need anything." He said before yawning and walking to his room.

I put my bags down in the middle of the floor and closed the door to my room. I plopped down on the bed and kicked my heels off.

"Well, this is happening. I guess it's too late to put myself in a coma now..." I murmured. I took off my blouse and mini skirt, dug through my bags to at least find some basketball shorts, then turned out the light.

"Who knows, maybe this banjo bearing ranch on everything little town won't be too bad. I mean how bad can it really be?" I muttered tiredly as I began to drift to sleep.

Yayyyyyyy we met Jasper, unofficially but, we met him. Progress people, it's progress.

So yeah I hope I've kind of established Lydia's and Crispin's character at least decently. But late night writing never resulted in a masterpiece so I know edits shall need to be made (Who got dem editing tips??)

So yeah. I think this is the official welcome and shit. So welcome to where the story begins to take off! Home of cruel insults and offensive Southern stereotyping (I'm from the South so I think I'm allowed XD)

So yeah! Hope y'all enjoy the story that is to come!! ^^

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 16, 2015 ⏰

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