Sober.

Chapter 1

Seven Years Earlier

Rays of sunlight shone through the window, stirring me awake. I smiled to myself as I felt two strong arms tighten their hold on my waist. A pair of lips touched my neck, then lapped at it possessively.

"I can't wait to mark you." Braden nuzzled into my neck and I arched into his hold.

We had been seeing each other for some time now. He'd lost his mate at a young age and I wouldn't have one, being half human made sure of it.

Today was the day we made our bond official, going before the packs Alpha to receive his blessing. It was more so a custom than a requirement. We had a half bond: emotionally, we were attached, but after the ceremony it would be physical as well. Not that we hadn't gotten physical already.

Braden was like the epitome of sunshine to me. His skin was a ruddy brown and his eyes were the warmest hazel I'd ever seen. He was young, we both were; but at eighteen we were more than old enough by pack standards to begin mating and starting a family.

His hand crept into my shorts as I pressed further into his erection, moaning as he found my clit. He used his other arm to hold me to him tighter as his fingers delved deeper, moving them in a way that had me squirming. Wicked sounds escaped my mouth as I rode his fingers. He kissed my shoulder sweetly, nipping at the skin there. "You're so beautiful, did you know that?"

I grabbed his stiff member and stroked it lightly, hearing him moan pleasantly. The sound was music to my ears. He never lasted too long, but he expressed his love in other ways. How he touched me, and always kissed me goodbye. How he never went a day without saying he loved me.

I came apart that the thought and squeezed him a little tighter, hearing a grunt before he released in my hand.

"I love you." He smiled at me, a dopey grin on his face. Then he kissed me, long and sweet. I giggled and brought him closer, kissing him all over his face. What I'm sure must've been a stupid ass grin practically split my face as I looked him in his warm brown eyes. "I love you more."

We got out of bed and showered together, making leisurely love for the next hour. I put on my white sundress and he wore his best suit with the bow tie I loved so much. We walked hand in hand to the pack house where Braden's parents were already present. Alpha Lennox stood before us both and we bowed. I remembered graduating from school with him, everyone had looked to him as this great leader and for good reason. He was always there to lend a hand and offer sound advice. His angelic looks only served to make him more appealing to the girls at school. Blonde hair and sea green eyes tended to do that. He was the same age as us since his father had died early on. This was his first official year as alpha and so far the pack was flourishing.

He shot a curt nod at us both, seemingly tense; then again, he was always somewhat tense, I suppose it came with the territory.

"Now that everyone is gathered here, I would like to say first how I'm sorry it had to be this way." He looked at me and I felt my stomach drop to the floor in dismay. I looked to Braden and noted his usually coffee-colored complexion seemed pale. Was this actually happening?

"I- I don't understand. Is there something we're not aware of? Some kind of mistake?" Braden's hand felt loose in my tightening grip.

Alpha Lennox looked at me with an expression I had overlooked constantly, boiling it down to an alphas natural intensity. All the science class partnerings and small conversations I had with him before today would never have lead me to believe what he said next.

"I refuse to mate you two because I lay claim on you, Seraphina Clayton." I took a step back, then another, feeling Brayden's hand slip away from mine. I could see him breathing deeply, trying to control himself and the tremors of fear wracking his body.

If Brayden wanted to be with me, he'd have to challenge Alpha Lennox. We both knew how that would turn out.

Suddenly Brayden stopped, relaxing his body on a deep exhale. He turned to me and his gaze was filled with so much of everything he couldn't say.

Then he turned away from me.

"I challenge you, Alpha Lennox, to a fight in my mates name." He was shaking like a leaf. Braden wasn't a fighter, he was an engineer for the pack, he had never fought anyone before.

"She's not yours to fight for," His gaze had never left my face, "but I'll allow it." A devious smile crept over his face.

"We fight tomorrow at dawn." He stalked away, his shoulders shaking in rage or laughter I couldn't tell.

Brayden left soon after, his face stoic and resigned. He didn't tell me where he was going.

Of all the thoughts running through my head, the one that range loudest was 'why now?' Why would he lay claim on me after years of silence? And just when I was about to mate to Braden.

It made no sense.

His mother walked up to me soon after and grabbed my shoulder, turning me forcefully to see her face lined with tears. I realized I hadn't shed a single one.

Her voice was quiet, but her eyes were steely and her words dug into me. "I told him not to mate you, you're not even a full blooded wolf and yet you traipse around like your mother wasn't some wanton whore here to sate her desire for sex with a werewolf! You're an abomination and my Braden has always been too good for you. Now look at what you've done, you've killed my son! My only son, oh god..." she clutched the straps of my dress as she fell to the floor, ripping the seam and causing the dress to fall around me. I caught it before it fell completely and pulled it back up, holding it to my chest. She had always been a kind woman, happy for Braden and I when we announced our plans to mate each other. She even asked for grandchildren from us.

I couldn't do this. I turned away and ran to the house.

Our house.

I opened the door and couldn't even make it to the bed before falling in the entryway, feeling like someone had punched me in the gut. My chest ached brutally and my eyes began to blur as the situation fell in full force on my body and mind. I didn't know how long I lay there for, but eventually, my eyelids fell shut.

  Later on, a warm pair of arms lifted me from the ground, carrying me to lay on the bed. Braden sat on the edge, his back to me.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

"Do you love him? Feel anything for him?" His voice was hoarse, like he had been screaming.

A vigorous shake of my head had him pulling me to his chest. We cried silently for a moment. Then, he kissed me. It filled me to the brim with a longing for him I had never felt before and we fell onto the bed, touching and stroking each other languidly. If this was our last night together, we'd make it count. No condom, no precautions. Nothing but desperation, heartache, and our most intimate experience yet.

When he pushed into me the first time it felt as though he was punishing me. He would never say it was my fault but I know he held some contempt towards me. I took it all, embracing him as he drove even deeper, carving himself further into my heart with each thrust.

He grunted and spilled into me, collapsing over my body. I held him to me and he tightened his arms around my body. His tears fell onto my chest.

"I love you ... so much."

That night, he told me he didn't want me to come, didn't want me to see him so weak. I begged him but it was his dying wish and I couldn't argue any further. We fell asleep, grasping onto each other, but our bodies turned to sand as time passed, and when I woke up, he was gone. Just his ring and a small letter in his muddled writing.

"I love you."