STALK [l.h]

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feeling a bit off today but i figured i should update for you guys, not even gunna talk about the fuckinh rolling stones article rn...jus dont, ily

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So this is how everything turns out for me, being strapped on a gurney with a an oxygen mask on my face, the Grim Reaper looking right at me just when I was about to tell the girl I love all the things I wanted to say after all these years. I didn't even get the chance to tell her what I feel.

The pain wasn't even bothering me anymore, I felt numb, at ease, yet my mind was racing with a lot of thoughts as I felt myself getting lifted. I looked around at the site and I notice my car that was poorly damaged, there were a lot of people, the police, the medics, the yellow tapes.

I feel my lungs run out of oxygen and I inhale as much as I can, a tear escaping my eye in the process. I was scared, then a felt a hand cup my forehead and run it through my hair. "You're gunna be alright honey, don't let go just yet" I hear someone's soothing voice on my left ear. I looked up and there was a bright white light and my vision blurred as I slowly closed my eyes.

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V I C T O R I A

I knew there was something wrong. I just felt it, I felt my heartbeat quicken its pace and I just felt bothered overall but I decided to shake off the feeling.

I was in Ashton's car and we just had dinner somewhere and now he was driving me home.

I couldn't help but think, did I still have feeling for Luke? He just wouldn't get out of my mind. Everything was good with Ashton now but I had the feeling that he wasn't the one I wanted to be there sharing our love story to other people. He wasn't the one who I wanted to hold me

but I guess we just can't force ourselves to someone who doesn't feel the same way.

I may have liked Luke and stalked him for the past years of my high school life, however you just gotta face the truth sometimes that we can't always get the ones we love.

I looked at Ashton and he had that look on his face. That neutral look and I just stared at him for a moment wishing I would feel something just like how I felt when I was in the same car with Luke, but there was literally nothing.

Then I heard sirens and my gaze adverted from Ashton to the road in front of us. There must have been an accident, there were a lot of people there as well trying to get a good scoop of what was happening, and for some apparent reason that feeling of uneasiness and worry radiated on my body again.

"What the hell?" Ashton spoke up, and I being tue curious little shit that I am, opened up my window and asked a few of the locals who were probably there for a while now.

"Excuse me? What happened here?"

"There was an accident, apparently this delivery truck hit a young boy's car. I'm not really sure though miss I really didn't see the entire thing." the stranger started to explain.

"It's alright, thank you" I replied then I looked over to Ash who grabbed my hand. "Babe I'm gunna go have a look and ask, stay in the car" He said and I nodded not wanting to get out of the car since I didn't want to look at the bloody scene that was going on.

Since I had nothing to do inside the car, I checked my phone for a while deciding to call my parents and tell them I juts had dinner with Ash and that they don't have to wait for me. But as I unlocked my phone I noticed I had a missed call from Luke

and my heart started pounding so fast

He called me? For some reason I had that feeling of regret that I should've took mind of my phone. My hand hovered on the green button contemplating whether I should call him back or not, but before I could even do anything, a shocked, pale-faced Ashton opened his car door with fear paced in his eyes.

"Babe you okay? What happened? I asked immediately as I set my phone aside and faced Ashton.

"I-It's Luke, h-he was the guy in the car accident"

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I ran as fast as I could with Ashton following behind me. We were already in the hospital, the smell didn't even made me flinch or bothered me anymore, I hated hospitals, they reminded me of death and that wasn't helping me right now. I was too scared, too worried about Luke knowing he was inside there somewhere badly hurt.

Then I noticed nurses and doctors who were running and I knew that could've been Luke. I ran to them not even minding some of the nurses that told me to back away and I felt Ashtons arms around me holding me tight.

My eyes fell on the bloody body that was on top of the bed being pushed away from me. The boy that I loved so much, you could even barely notice him. He looked really bad. He was pale, more paler than he normally was, his eyes had dark circles around them and blood on his head. Scrapes here and there, a huge wound on his chest. His legs looked pretty bad as well and I felt my chest tighten.

This couldn't be happening to him. He didn't deserve this at all. The tears flowed from my eyes relentlessly and I have never felt more pained in my entire life looking at the boy who had death written all over his features.

"Ash no, he can't--h-he just can't" I sobbed on Ashton's chest as he held me tight, his arms around me.  "Shhh, h-he'll be okay. Just calm down baby please, I need you to calm down" he whispered as he kissed my forehead and I felt myself get weak in the knees.

Words couldn't even describe how scared I was, and for the first time in my life. I found myself praying to God, begging him to save Luke. I gripped Ashton's shirt tighter then ever as I continued to sob hearing the terrible sounds of panic inside the operation room.

God, please no. Not Luke please

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here's some tissue ya?

i cried writing that, super llama drama llama *cries*