Thinking of Him

Want To Know Me Better

I drove to my house back after I left the Venice Beach.I was blushing through my way back because of the cute words of John.
I even thought that I was hallucinating about the past hour.

Katy did you take drugs or extreme alcohol to forget about the harsh reality?and now you are seeing unreal vision,bravo

I had been really happy back in the beach with John.I wasn't sure if it was because I was in my get away place or because of John and his funniness.But it made me happy,a lot.And for just half a minute things were getting much better.

When I came back home and parked my car,I saw Angela waiting on the stairways.She seemed so worried,there was sweat in her forehead and you couldn't tell if she was angry at me in a serious way or if she was happy and relieved to see me.
"Katy for God's sake where have you been?"
She came closer and embraced me with a hug,squeezing my arms tightly.

"I was just down at the Venice Beach Angie.No big deal."I said.
I didn't make eye contact but held on to the hug instead.
"Yeah?At almost 2 in the morning?I know you don't like to get interrupted when you are in your get away place but I was too worried for you Kate.It's 2 in the morning!"

She said laughing,but not because it was funny.More because it was crazy.
We got inside my home afterwards and Angie stopped questioning me about what I have been doing there.Instead she lead me to bed and put a glass of water besides me.
I looked like a walking zombie like this,just because I was really tired and it was 2 in the morning-which Angie kept repeating for the past ten minutes.

Normally I got to bed at like 4am,partied and had fun at nights.Cause everyone knows that I throw the funnest parties.But since the craziness of my depression and emotions I was mostly sleeping 24/7 until today.
Today I was outside,trying to cope with everything little by little again.But my body still couldn't take this or endure the reality.So it didn't take me more than twenty minutes to go back to my sleep which I had started before, back at the beach.

-
"Katy I can't believe you.I can't trust you either.I see the real you,the real you which is so emberrasing to live with.You can't make anyone happy Katy,you can't do anything that I asked you to in the correct way.That's probably the reason why all your past lovers left you.And that's why I'm not ever going to start anything with you."

"John please,let me explain."

"Just leave me alone Katy,right now.I only tried to help you once and nothing more."
-
I woke up by the buzzing sound coming from my phone.I was sweating probably because of my nightmares which now included John in them.I just couldn't keep thinking positive about the good things,they always turned into something negative since my pain in December.But for that moment I brushed of every thought of mine and picked up my phone.

I saw John's name on the screen which made me unlock my phone in a matter of milliseconds due to my excitement and moods like I was still a teenager stalking her crush.

I saw that he texted me.Telling me that he wanted to meet for lunch today before he left for Montana.I texted him back and we agreed to meet at a little cafe really close to his apartment.

"Good morning little Bird."Angela said as she saw me walking towards her.
"Mornin sister."I replied back,cheekily as I grabbed the mug which was full of hot coffee from the kitchen table.

"You seem so happy.And uhm you're dressed."She continued happily,looking more proud than ever with her beautiful big blue eyes and her soft wavy ginger hair,sliding through her shoulders.She looked stunning.I couldn't believe how her fiance Svend let her stay with me for months,away from him sometimes.Though they always contacted each other.They were so close and their relationship had something that I was asked for.It was honest true life where when you say forever it would be forever.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?"Angela decided to mention it once more since I had no intention on telling her where I would go.

"I have a plan...for lunch"
I said biting my lips,feeling embarrased.
"With John actually."
I told her,finally amd let out a gasp.

"What John?"she asked looking confused,really confused which reminded me that I haven't told her about last night.And right now I really didn't know how to get out of this conversation.
I wasn't even sure if I wanted to stop talking about it,I just didn't know how to explain.

"I...uhm...I m-met him very recently."
I tried to continue,holding my breathe.
"That's why you were late last night?"Angela asked in a shock.She sounded scared and worried,I knew she would question that next man in my life so that she would be sure he wasn't going to break my heart.But me and John were just friends,not even friends.Was more like strangers to eachother still even though I had a crush on him and he knew some stuff about me from the media.
But I was sure that wasn't the real us,that wasn't a way to get to know eachother either.So this lunch time we would inform eachother more about our lives.Just for fun and more friendship to support one another.

"No Angie I fell asleep at the beach,That's why I was late.And John is just a friend.I mean I'm getting to know him and we're just being supportive to each other."It was hard for me to form sentences or speak any word cause my feeling for John were so complicated like something that I have never experienced before.

"And John was there,at the beach.Will you just tell it to me Katy?"
After she said that I decided to be honest about this and I when I re-think it I realized that I wanted some advice from my sister who was here for me all the way through and was going crazy due to how worried she was and my mysterious talks.

"Okay Angie.John was there so was his dog.We talked for a couple of minutes and it seemed like he understood everything about me.It seemed like he was going through something as well.It made me feel a certain way,I was happy.He got my phone last night.Can you even believe that John Mayer has my phone.And it-"
Angela stopped me from talking and now she sounded even more shocked.
"What?Wait.So this is John Mayer that you're talking about?"she asked desperately.

"Yes and it doesn't even feel like he's a celebrity,he's so real and authentic." and I was falling for him.

We had a long talk with Angela,she saw how I was improving even more with John's help.She added some little touches in my outfit and wanted me to just have fun this lunch time,outside with a friend.John.

-

JOHN'S POV:
I was waiting for Katy inside the petit cafe for about twenty minutes now.Considering I have came so early for bir reason at all.I was dressed properly today and I actually brushed my long brown hair on my way to here.
It was getting so long that it bothered me as well.But there was no reason for me to cut it.There was no reason for me to stand up for myself after all taut has happened.
After the throat injury,I couldn't even speak at the moment,I felt like I let my fans down.And my previous girlfriends which I had no intention to love anymore.But I had a reason to come here this lunch time.I wanted to.

A smile made it's way on my face as I saw Katy walking inside the cafe.He long purple hair was shining with all the sun's light reflecting on her.Her blue eyes saw me and opened so big that they seemed like a clear ocean.She had so less make up on.None except a bit of lipstick to be honest.She walked loser to me and I stood up to greet her with a friendly hug.

"Hey John,really nice to see you again."She said smiling as her nose crinkeled.It was a beautiful feeling seeing her like that.Last night we both have been a little,maybe a lot depressed but today we were pretty positive and we definetly didn't have any time to thing about the negative stuff.

We talked about what has been going on in our lives as we are.We didn't dig so deep into them since we both understood each other in a really spiritual level.She also ordered for me since I couldn't raise my voice.I felt pretty annoying for making her order for me but she was so kind and genius that she did it right away without question more about it.
She was understood me as if she has been living my life and it wasn't like I was talking to a celebrity,I was taking to Katy and it felt relieving like something I needed,and like something I needed to give her.