Carefully Crazy {On Hold}

Chapter Five

Camber Point of View

The whole week, the letter haunts me. A fire residing in my pocket, my eyes yearning to extinguish it, yet my body won't allow it. I didn't tell Shae nor Haz about it, in fear that one of them would rip it up before I could decide what to do with it. 

Everyday this week I've carried it with me, a confirmation that it is real, that I'm not that crazy. However, every night it's kept me up later than usual as well, my mind pondering on what's inside, what she has to say for herself.

On the sixth night, around four in the morning, the insomnia hits me worse than any of the other days before, the envelope seeming to almost glow in the darkness of the night. Across the room, Haz is snoring slightly, in her own little dreamland. I pick up the letter on my night stand with shaky hands. The unsaid is torturing me; and no matter how much I tell myself that I will never communicate with Ivori again due to the association that she has of the horrid things that happened to me all those nights ago, I can't deny myself the letter before my eyes.

After a little more contemplation on the letter, I finally give into my needy curiosity, breaking the seal that keeps the envelope enclosed with my pinky finger. As soon as the flap is opened, Ivori's faint scent of perfume hits me, reeling me into memories of the past. Our past, together.

My mind goes flying back, to the time right after the double homicide of my parents, where the Lankstons took me in and treated me like one of their own, until the court situations and foster home jumping started up. We shared a room, Ivori and I, and even though I wouldn't talk, Ivori was there for me. Every night we would eat my favorite ice cream and candy, not talking but comfortable with each other all the same. When the court battles started up, Ivori and the Lankstons were always there, at every court meeting, being my silent support. Every chance they got, they would visit me in the foster homes that were in state, either bringing me goodies when they saw me, or shipping them to me. We managed to stay in connection all the way up to Washington, where Ivori and I hit the rocks before para-sailing into the black harsh ocean that was below us and ending all communication.

"Camber, what are you doing up?" Hazelle's sleep muddled groan pulls me out of my revere, and I nearly jump at the sight of her. She has somehow managed to get across the room and be standing in front of me without me hearing her at all. I remember the envelope in my hand, and before Haz can question anything else, I slip it under my leg, invisible to her prying eyes.

"Nothing, couldn't really sleep, what are you doing up?" I try to change the subject as smoothly as possible so she doesn't pry. If she pries for sure I'll spill about the letter and will never get to know what's inside. As an after thought, I add a fake yawn for good measure.

"Dude, I had to piss." Despite my best efforts, I snort at her direct answer, and she shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly. Without saying anything else, she stumbles, still half asleep to our shared bathroom, and slams the door shut.

I breath a sigh of relief, and decide to at least try to get some sleep. Sliding the letter into my nightstand drawer, I turn of my lamp, and snuggle into the warm sheets.

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"Camber, your family is coming again. If that's okay with you." It's Sunday, Visitation Day, and once again, I find my butt sitting in the chair opposite of Mrs. Perci.

Last night, at around 5:30 I finally managed to doze into a state of almost dreaming, only to have my alarm clock go off two hours later. I went through my morning routine in a haze, until the daily announcements during breakfast included one telling me to meet Mrs. Perci in her office immediatly.

So, here I am, once again, in front of Mrs. Perci. They should just move my stuff to her office and call it my room. I'm here enough for it. Never mind that though. Her words pull me out of my haze, and panic settles in my gut.

Joshua.

"Um, I don't know. When you say family, which members?" Mrs. Perci was informed on how the last get together went, and it's surprising that she would encourage another one due to that. Due to my mental state of being.

More so, my mental state of unbeing.

"Carol said it would be just her and Rebecca, if that's alright. They will come here this time though, and you guys will be in one of the conference rooms, that's how Visitation Day normally works. If it becomes uncomfortable for you, you are allowed to leave, or end the session." She glances down at the papers on her desk, before looking at me again. Almost as an afterthought, she adds. "I think that it's a good idea, coming from the counselor perspective of this. Talking is the best form of therapy, Camber."

"Yeah I know." I mumble, staring down at my hands. When she puts it like that, I feel guilty for contemplating otherwise, but she, as my therapist should see my side of this whole situation as well.

"Is that 'yeah I know' a yes that you'll give them a chance, or a no, meaning I should go ahead and call them so they know not to make the long haul out here." Her perfectly polished hand is hovering over her office phone, as if waiting for the command.

"Yeah, I suppose I'll see them." I give in, knowing it will make everyone else happy. 

I'm about to get up and leave her office when I think of something.

"Oh and, while we're talking. Peer pressure shouldn't be allowed in a crazy house, especially from the counselers. It's fucked up." With that, I leave her office slamming the door in her shocked face.

*A/N: Hey guys, some of you probably read my Please Read. I've decided to not go permanantly and I thank you guys for suppporting me, and still reading my stories even if they are slow on updating. It took me a while to update again, because, to be honest, for a while I lost some motivation. I hope that this is half decent. In the mean time, I started a new project..Exploited. I'd really appreciate it if you guys checked it out. I love you all. Oh and the dedication goes out to Fallenangel06 cause she's one of the few people that I've been able to talk about this chapter to c;

TheNowhereKid*