captive.

alone.

The day I met him, the day we became bestfriends, the days we shared hearts, the days we always played video games and do karaoke, and the days when he told me I was beautiful and that he loved me.

Those days are long gone.

Now, I'm just broken. It feels like someone twisted a knife inside of my soul. How could he do this to me? Hurt me. Leave me here all alone.

First day of my senior year and I'm crying. I've been crying for 3 months, every morning I remember he's not mine and every night I realize he's not holding me.

My alarm clock goes off, it's not like I need it, for the past few months my insomnia has really  kicked in. I'm awake all night because this pain is deeper than any cut. I'm broken.

---------

Driving to school wearing all white sk8 hi vans, black leggings, white oversized t-shirt, and a black Nike visor. I attempted to put on makeup to hide the dark circles under my eyes.

Walking into school, I see my beloved best friends Dash (a boy) and Cash (a girl), they're twins.  Ahmir, the guy who broke my heart, used to be apart of this group but he made the right decision by staying away.

"KAYCE," exclaimed Cash.
She ran and jumped into my arms, intertwining her body with mine. She's very light so I didn't mind.
"Hello to you too Camilla (her real name)."
"AH I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, HOW ARE YOU IT FEEEELS LIKE ITS BEEN 70 YEARS AND A MONTH," she says, talking very hastily.
"Oh my fuck, it looks like you lost thirty pounds," Dash says, let's get ready for the questions.

After I was bombarded with anorexic and depression questions, the bell had rang and fortunately, God gave me the blessing of not having neither one of them in my 1st period. I love my friends but there are things I'd just rather not tell them. Like, the only thing I've been eating for the past months are mangos and strawberries, or that I've been feeling a deep urge to just slit my wrist. Not problems they need to worry about. Or that I'm lonelier than a widow living in a house in the woods.

I'm always early to my first class because it gives teachers a good first impression.

I see an o so familiar figure walk by. Ahmir. Bringing some girl to my class, they hugged, then they kissed. I didn't recognize her she must be new. Of course, he always get the new girls in town. I got up to act like I was sharpening my pencil, just to get a better visual of him.

He looked happy. I turned my head and I felt his eyes glaring at me, so I looked back at him. We're eye to eye. The hazel eyed guy I loved, well still love,  staring back at me.

The guy that broke me is staring at me.

"Hi," he says.
I didn't say anything, I walked back to my seat and acted as if I didn't care, but I feel myself on the verge of crying, on the verge of screaming, and on the verge of dying mentally. This sadness is unbearable.

He lied to me, he took advantage of me, he didn't care about me, and the worst of all he didn't love me. I gave him everything I had. My heart, my dignity, my confidence, my time, and my virginity. He gave me nothing.

That's exactly how I feel now.

Like nothing.