Academy of the Artists

The Nightmares Start Again

This is another shitty short chapter. Trigger warnings. Have fun

I was in a small room. One that looked a lot like my old bedroom back home. I was sitting in the corner of the dark room like a child that had just been scolded by their parents.

I heard voices downstairs, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I did catch some words like, "I'm worried about him", and "he's not getting any better" from my parents. There was another person downstairs that would talk occasionally.

The voice sounded familiar but I didn't bother to figure it out. That's when I realized that I had been crying quietly the whole time. I had a feeling of suffocation. As if the whole room was closing in on me as I sat there. I didn't know what was going on.

There were burning red marks on my arms and I could feel them on my legs too. I knew what they were, a sign of desperation for me. I had never been one to do stuff like that, but if I got real low from thinking too much it would just happen.

That was the bad thing about, it would just happen. My parents never knew I did it, but I would stay in my room for days without coming out at times. It wasn't anything bad, and I wasn't considered depressed. My parents thought I was at one point.

My dad had told me that dancing was for girls when I told him that I wanted to try it. My mom was also for it; until my father said no. With me being a good kid, I nodded and walked to my room. That was mainly when my social anxiety began because I felt that if I asked for something they would only say no.

My parents fought the fifth day I hadn't come out of my room and I could hear my mother telling him that I never ask to do anything so he should try to make me happy. I had cried during that fight, and that made me realize how much of a child I was. Sitting in a corner as my parents conversed with another person about my mentality.

The next thing that had happened, was I got up and walked to the middle of the room. Though the room was small, it had a quite tall ceiling, at least taller than me. I went to where the ceiling fan was and looked at it. Then I went to my closet, tears drying on my face as I did so, and grabbed a rope that was for emergencies like fires and what not.

I grabbed a chair and tied the rope up on the top of the sturdy ceiling fan. It wasn't a long rope, otherwise it would never work. It was indeed a noose, one that was short enough so my feet would never touch the ground at all. I went to write a note, but winded up knocking some things in the floor which made a loud noise.

I heard the third voice call out my name with worry in his every syllable. I looked at the door quickly and made sure the door was locked. I climbed up in the chair and didn't dare look down for the sake of backing out. I slipped the rope around my neck and took one last breath. I heard steps coming up the steps. One last tear.

The chair hit the floor with another loud noise. I was then standing in my room, looking at my lifeless body hanging from the ceiling. It was a terrible sight, but I didn't linger on it much as I heard someone trying to get the door open. They pulled and pulled and then finally decided to kick the door open. The other person I didn't know who had been, allowed my parents to walk in first to make sure I was okay.

Both my parents gasped and then Reiner walked in. All the life left his eyes and he walked over to my body and gently touched my hand. My parents didn't say a word and walked out, leaving Reiner alone with me. I walked through the walls to where my parents were. "It was bound t happen so no tears are to be shed. We knew he would be stupid about it." My mother said. I broke down crying as I replayed the words. I then could see Reiner shaking my body, trying to wake me up.

I felt the shakes as he did so. He was calling my name to wake me up, but my body didn't move. Then I could see him in front of me, blocking my view of my parents not giving a damn. He shook me and shook me. I grabbed his wrists to get him to stop, but then I opened my eyes.

I opened my eyes and seen blue eyes glowing with worry above me. His hands were still on my shoulders from shaking me. I sat up and looked at him, he sighed in relief. I rubbed my eyes only to find that I had actually been crying. I'd had another damn nightmare again.

I started to shake my head and rock back and forth, putting my hands on either side of my face. "I-I'm sorry Reiner. I didn't mean t-to wake you. It w-won't happen a-" he cut me off.

"No it's fine. I was still awake when you started wiggling uncomfortably in your bed. I decided to stay awake a little longer to make sure you were okay. I'm glad I did." He told me, but I still didn't feel better for him having to see me like that. "Now, do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked, sitting on my bed.

What was I supposed to say? Tell him that I had a dream about me committing suicide? And then my parents not caring about me? He nudged my shoulder as I sat there in a little ball. It was quite amazing how someone as big as me could bend and curl up into such a small space. Then I heard the words I needed to hear. "Come on, you can trust me."

I sighed and brought my knees up to my chest. I folded my arms and put them on my knees. "It was dark and I was in my room." I began, him giving me his full attention. "I heard my parents talking to someone downstairs while I was sitting in the corner of the room. I had been crying and they were discussing how I hadn't gotten any better. Reiner I hung myself. My parents said they didn't care. You were the only one that acted like you did." I said the last part quietly.

It was a stupid thing to talk about and I knew it. I had never talked to anyone about any of them before and then today I do. I was waiting for him to tell me that it was the most ridiculous thing for me to be upset about. But that never came.

He wrapped his left arm around my shoulders in a friendly manner. "Look pal, I don't know what you go through with your head or what you've gone through at home. But I want you to know that you have people that care about you. I'm sure that your mind was just fucking with you by making you think your parents don't care. Now me? If I ever found out you did that to yourself, I'd find you, bring you back to life, then fucking kill you myself."

I laughed at his bluntness at the end of the sentence. "You seem nice right now." I stated, sniffling. He laughed at my sarcasm.

"It's called sleep deprivation." He said to me, which made my smile fade. He seemed to notice this even from the dull light of his laptop screen on the other side of the room. "But that's my decision. I'm the one that took on that recital and I'm going to go as long as I can without sleep." He added quickly. I sighed and rubbed my eyes again. He went to withdraw his arm but I grabbed his arm to keep it around my shoulders, not even caring about my blush. "What's wrong?" He asked.

I didn't have a good answer, but when do I ever? "Imma leech now." I said as I held onto him tighter. He chuckled and moved closer to me. Now I know that if I had a best friend, I'd be a clingy one. Then I realized that I can't say "if I had one" anymore. I had one now and I wasn't going to be not clingy to this one. I curled up into him and felt the heat radiating off of him.

He started to hum a song that I had never heard but knew that it was something I wanted to listen to for a long time. Not much long after he started humming his song, I drifted off into a sleep much better than the one I had woken from.