inseparable

Chapter 5

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TRIGGER WARNING: mention of anxiety and sadness !!!!
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Scott's POV

Mitch and I only met a few days ago and still we've already seen each other more times than we have in five years.

A part of me is happy about it. I've missed him, even though it's hard to accept. It's been nice to see him again, it really has. He makes me happy like no one else and that's hard to ignore.

But the sadness and the anxiety that has taken over my life over the past years, and also the major part of me, isn't so happy about it. It tells me it's wrong and that I shouldn't forgive him.

And it hurts. It hurts. It hurts really bad and I'm furious about it. I'm furious at the forces that have taken over me for the past years and I don't know how to let it go. I don't know if I want to let it go.

Mitch makes me want to let it go. He brings out the me in myself. The me that I haven't seen in many years and it's scary, it's so scary, but it feels good. It's nice.

It's calming to know that I'm still there somewhere, just covered in a few layers of sadness. It calming to know that I can shine through these layers. It gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, one day, the layers will be gone and I just be me.

Meeting Mitch again has left me a complete mess. I feel so many things and it's so damn confusing.

I used to be okay, or at least not completely awful, but now I'm on an emotional roller coaster. And I sure have no idea what to think nor how to feel about it.

Mitch's POV

"Mitch? Can you please help me bake these cookies? I'm so stressed and I want them to be done quickly!" My mom yelled from the kitchen to where I was sitting in the living room scrolling through Twitter.

I walked my way to the kitchen, dreading making these cookies that we make every year.

"You could call Scott, he could help! Plus, I've missed that boy."

Suddenly baking cookies seemed very fun.

I called Scott immediately, and as he picked up I felt myself starting to blush. I never blush.

"Hello?" I said anxiously, starting to get nervous he wouldn't want to come over.

"Mitch! Hi, was just thinking about you." I felt my cheeks getting even redder.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was." A big smile started spreading all over my face and I almost forgot why I had called in the first place.

"Well, I was just thinking about you too. Or, basically my mom was." What did I just say? "But of course, I was too." How awkward can I get? "Anyway. Do you wanna, uhm, get over and bake cookies? My mom needs help. She's pretty stressed."

Well. I tried, right?

Thankfully, he calmed me as he let out a laugh. "I'd love to."

Thank you God.

"Great! Come over as soon as possible!!"

"Can't wait to see you" then he hung up, leaving me with a big grin on my face. God, what was this boy doing to me? What was this boy who used to be my old best friend doing to me?

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I heard knocks on the door twenty minutes after I had called. I opened the door to be greeted by Scott looking handsome as ever.

"Hey Mitch" Scott said with a smile.

"Hey Scott" I replied as I went in for a hug, hoping to receive one back.

I did and the hug we shared was a little too long, but I didn't complain.

Let's be real, we haven't seen each other for many years and we gotta catch up on all the hugging we've missed out on.

"Come in" I said as I let go of Scott, my body aching for more touch. "My mom's desperate for help. We've already started, but there's many to be made." I looked at him and realized he still had his coat on and looked very unsure of himself. I showed him a smile as I told him where to hang his outerwear.

"Follow me. Or well, you probably know the way to the kitchen. It's not like it's your first time being here." I tried my best not to get sad nor nervous at this, though it was hard.

For a moment I got lost in another world. Scott and I stopped just to stare in to each others eyes.

Once again I saw the sadness and the emptiness in his blue eyes.

Guilt washed over me. I was one of the reasons it was there. I was one of the reasons that the happiest eye on the planet had turned out like this, emotionless and tired.

Then I got an abrupt reality check as my mom found us.

"Scott Richard Hoying! Boy, have I missed you!" She said as she greeted Scott with a big, long, hug.

"I've missed you too, Nel." I noticed small tears forming in Scott's eyes, and like my mom could read minds she decided to lighten the mood a bit. "Well. We can't stand here and hug all day! Christmas is just in a few days and these cookies won't bake themselves."

Scott's POV

I like being here. I have always liked being here, since being here means spending time with Mitch.

For once, I was actually having a good time. It was hard to accept, it was really hard to accept, but it felt like it was worth it. Being with Mitch felt worth it, even though my thoughts put me through a lot just in order for me to spend time with him.

As my thinking went on I saw an opportunity. Mitch was all lost in his dream world filled with cookies and sparkles and seemed not to have a thought in the world on anything else but his pretty cookies.

I approached him with dough on my fingertips with quiet steps. Nel was also in another world, all thoughts on making the perfect cookies. I smiled to myself as I turned Mitch around and poked his cute nose with the dough.

"SCOTT!" Mitch looked at me with big, brown eyes, looking pretty mad.

"Sorry?" I said as I grinned, showing all of my teeth.

"YOU'LL REGRET THAT!" Mitch screamed as he started chasing me around the kitchen with dough on his fingertips as well. I put even more dough on my fingers and started making small cubes to throw at him, ready to attack.

I giggled as Mitch caught me, poking my nose with fingertips completely covered in dough.

We were laughing for a good ten minutes until we were both just looking at each other again.

"I still can't believe you're here with me again" Mitch says with a pretty smile on his face.

"Me neither Mitch, me neither."

And boy, was it true.