LADY LIKE (lashton)

beg for me

Ashton's outfit above

Luke's pov

I can't believe I actually did that. I have some nerve. Saying that I love the boy yet I treat him like that? I'm full of shame. Why do I have to mess everything up?

I've lost my best friends due to my horrific actions and I'm starting to worry I'll never get them back. Plus, Ashton, the light of my life stared at me with his pained eyes. He was heartbroken and I was the culprit. That's why I'm working on pathing the holes back together.

As I walk down the empty corridor I reminisce all the times we've had together. I miss him so badly. His touch, his smell, the way his eyes crinkle when he blesses me with a smile. Every little thing.

My thoughts a disrupted by a voice calling out my name. I turn around to inspect. "Hey man. I've been calling you for ages!" Josh speaks to me.

"Sorry I zoned out."

"It's cool. Why you out of class?"

"Ditching."

He smirks at me proudly. My so called friend. The one I punched Ashton for. I hate him so badly that every time I pretend to be his friends it makes me sick to the stomach. "My man!" Josh high fives me. I fake a smile and return the gesture. What have I gotten myself into?

"I'm gonna go home. I'll see you later." I announce.

"Cool man. See ya around!" He waves as I make my way out of this hell hole. I decided to ditch my car and walk home, needing the fresh air. The trees sway in the warm breeze and the birds sing their beautiful song whilst I stroll along the streets. I watch intently as an older couple cross the road together. They look so happy. So in love. I want that with Ashton. To grow old together with out a care in the word. But this is my sad reality. I fucked up and I have no idea how to fix it.

Subconsciously, I miss the turn in for my street and walk in the opposite direction and before I knew it my feet were taking me in the direction I should be avoiding. Anyways, he'll be at school. Hating me. Bonding with my best friends. I should be there with him, making him smile, holding his hand whilst whispering in his ear about how beautiful he looks. But no, I had to go and fuck it all up.

I don't know what I'm expecting as I knock loudly on his front door. The door opened widely and I was faced with a pissed off mother who gave me a death glare that only a mother protecting her child could give. "Yes?" She bluntly said, obviously not wanting my company for the first time. She knows. Shit, she knows.

"I um. I." Pull your self together Luke. She's Ashton's mother not a 10ft ogre.

"You're not getting to see him you little shit. How dare you hurt my son like that. He told me all about what you did and you're no longer welcome in our home, you hear me?" She scorns.

The words hit me like a bullet to the chest. I earned her respect and approval but now she couldn't stand to see my face standing here at her front door. "You should leave before I call the police. You're trespassing." She added.

"But wait." I say, putting my foot in between the door and the door frame so she can't slam it in my face. I hear her sigh. "What?" She snaps impatiently.

"He's here isn't he?" I ask and she hesitantly nods.

"Please let me see him?" I plead desperately.

"Absolutely not!"

"Please. I'm not going to hurt him, I swear I just want to apologise. What I did was stupid and cruel and I've never regretted something so bad in my life up until now, please let me see him because I need him to know that I didn't mean to hurt him. I'm so so sorry for what I've done, please mam. Let me in. Even just for two minutes. I can't stand leaving it like this with him hating my guts. Please. Please." I'm breaking down infront of the mother of the boy I love and I don't even care.

She thinks it over for a second, contemplating what decision sheet going to make, she knew Ashton would be mad at her if she let him in but I can tell she's still thinking about doing it anyway.

"Please?" I plead once more.

She sighs and gestures for me to come in. I thank her and rush up stairs to Ashton's room where I can gear muffled sobs coming from the other side of the door. I did that. I made him cry and it hurts so badly, it breaks my already broken heart into tiny little pieces.

I knock twice and hear him faintly say go away, I wonder if I should listen to him but he needs to know how sorry I am. So I walk in, he doesn't look up from the place in his bed where his face is buried in the pink covered pillows.

I edge over to him and sit at the edge of the bed. "Mum I really don't wanna talk about it okay?" He cries some more.

"Ashton?" He sits up abruptly, I see fear in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here? Come to hit me again? Well go ahead. You can't hurt anymore than you already have." He sobs.

"Ashy.. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay?" I scoot closer to him but he moves himself further away from me. "Don't touch me. You don't get to touch me anymore."

"Look Ashton. Baby. I am so sorry for what I've done. Please just hear me out." He stares at me blankly so I continue on.

"What I did was unforgivable and I can't even expect you to forgive me but know that it was the biggest mistake of my life and if I could take it back I would. I really would. I just, I'm scared, okay. I'm scared of what people would think of us, what they would say. Man, I didn't even know I liked guys until I met you, which by the way was the best thing that could ever happen to me. You're so beautiful Ashton, there's an invisible light that illuminates around you, you're my little angel dressed in a skirt and boots. I'm so deeply in love with you that it scares me. And what else scares me is what I did to you. It hurt me as much as it did you. You gotta understand, I would never ever do that to you again. I swear on my life I would never treat you with anything but love, respect and attention because you deserve it."

The tears that threaten to come out blur my vision so I use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe them away. "I'm sorry." I repeat.

"Beg."

"What?"

"Beg for me."

I immediately get up off my spot and kneel infront of him so I'm staring up at his beautifully tear rimmed eyes and runny nose.

"Ashton irwin. The light of my life. I beg you to forgive me for the things that I've done. I beg for you to let me love you again."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I was not expecting that. But I get up and lean in to kiss him.

"It's not as easy as that Hemmings. If you ever wanna kiss me again you'll mend my heart first. Make it up to me." He says as he pushes me away.

"But how?"

"It's don't know. But you'll have to fight for me."

Should Ashton have forgiven Luke so easily?

What should Luke do to win him back?

Other thoughts?

Love you.

-emj