My computer has a virus,
My mind is full of viruses.
Everything is moving slower,
Walking on flat ground,
Now feels as if I'm constantly climbing a mountain.
I'm losing control, spiraling in circles.
What is this insanity?
Trying to gain control, focus,
To put my time into studying for exams.
All as my life is unraveling in front of me.
Focus, I can not.
Stress is a murderer,
A cereal killer,
The biggest consumer of many aspects in my life.
Notebooks surrounding me,
Papers scattered throughout the room,
I am reading and writing but the words only float in the air.
No consumption of the knowledge that I am trying to obtain.
Butting my lip, my tongue,
So hard I can taste blood.
Fidgety and agitated,
Mentally and physically exhausted.
The negativity pilling up onto me just like the papers and books in the room.
The hand holding the pen is shaking,
Notes become as blurred as my mind.
Focus seems so unreachable,
As if it is a myth.
All so easy in the beginning,
As the semester ends everything feels impossible.
The importance of my final results,
Is so attached to my stress.
School, friends, family, health,
Oh ya and Christmas.
All aspects intertwining into one thing,
The unraveling of my focus and efforts to succeed.
See piles are not good,
Too many things at once, awful.
Control over this does not exist,
Because for everyone this all happens at once.
Right now,
Gaining control is a power struggle in itself.
Can't they just fix this system?
Make it easier for everyone.
Not just me,
Because that is the only peace I feel.
Knowing for a fact,
That I am not the only person in this position.
